Why do they hate me?... :( Hatred and love relations.

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GG Cannon

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It doesn't make much sense to me why my allies in my kingdom start to hate me so much, so fast because my enemies took their settlements and I don't even get a warning about any of that.
Specially so because giving them settlements does not raise our relations and them happily having a settlement for a long time does not as well.

Several times did I have to load a game some time back because an allied quit my kingdom hating me, with me considered as an enemy because enemies took their castles and towns while I was fighting on the other side of the continent.
Then, I have to spend hundreds if not thousands of influence just to slightly better our relations.

They shouldn't hate me so much for a thing that was done by our enemies, yet they should be very happy to receive and keep a settlement over time.
And we should receive a warning when our relation to our allies start to decrease.
It would make sense for relations to decrease if they have no settlement of their own over an extended period of time, as that would be financially aggravating for them, but not lose like -30 the very second their only castle is taken by someone we are at war with. That is basically how much if not more than your enemies hate you when you take their castles.

There is also a matter within relations that only a clan can like or hate you, but not a character.

I believe that there should be two different "relation gauges" in the game. An individual and a clan collective.
A person might like you while their clan hates you and the opposite as well.
It would make even more sense considering marriages in the game, as when you marry, your relation to your wife or husband becomes 0, because they are now part of your clan and you have 0 relation to yourself.

With individual relations, you could convince a character to join your kingdom and forsake their own clan, starting a new clan of their own where the new clan's relation to you would start at that character's individual relation.
Individual relations could also help with deciding marriages and starting or ending a war.

I'd also like to mention regarding relations that I really don't see single NPCs marrying.
I'd really love to see NPCs that are unmarried to find a romantic partner of their own.
Maybe even one of my companions. It would be seriously interesting if, after I turn a companion to a party of their own for long enough, they might suddenly return sometime asking for my blessing to marry and start a clan of their own within my kingdom, freeing up a companion slot but creating a new vassal clan.

Lastly, I'd like to be allowed to gift one of my own fiefs to my vassals. Not only remove a fief of one.
It would be very useful in situations where a vassal clan loses their own fief due to war, where I'd gift one of my own fiefs to them to stop their relationship from getting damaged and also in situations where a companion party evolves into a clan to gift them their own castle or town now that they became a proper clan without taking any fief of my other vassals.

Keeping and maintaining relationships is one of THE BIGGEST aspects of medieval nobility and can start, end and define wars. Kings companions of new kingdoms used to be some of the new noble houses of that kingdom and marriages were some of the most important aspects of a noble's life.

Also regarding marriages, medieval societies used to be between polygamic to polyamorous, so it would be interesting if there were a policy within your kingdom for male polygamy and another for female polygamy, which each allowed the respective gender members of clans within that kingdom to marry more than once to concubines but when that happened, it lowered a bit the individual relationship and clan relationship to all people and clans of kingdoms that do not allow for it, as if their impression of you got worse because you've taken a concubine.

I'd REALLY love to see a bit more focus and advances with relations and interpersonal dialog, maybe even small talk dialog options that allowed you just to chat with npcs and potentially raise or lower your individual relation with them, depending on their "personality traits"(data that defines what they like and what they don't, influencing raises and lowering in individual relations).

It is actually WAY more important to a game about war than it seems at first glance and one of the most important things to humans at every single era of humanity.
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