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And now, a pointless exercise: let's see which songs from Sabaton albums I can recall off the top of my head as being particularly memorable or interesting.

* "Fist for Fight": Hellrider, The Hammer has Fallen, Shadows, Masters of the World;
* "Primo Victoria": Primo Victoria, Panzer Batallion, Wolfpack;
* "Attero Dominatus": Angels Calling, Back in Control;
* "Metalizer": Lol this is just half of the good tracks from Fist for Fight, who even cares about this one;
* "The Art of War" (aahh, peak Sabaton): Ghost Division, 40-1, Cliffs of Gallipoli, Talvisota, Panzerkampf, Union, The Price of a Mile;
* "Coat of Arms" (a personal favourite despite it's barely-40-min length): ALL OF THEM
* "Carolus Rex" (the one where they made some semi-complicated songs and then probably decided it was too much effort): Gott mit Uns, 1648, Killing Ground, Poltava, Ruina Imperii;
* "Heroes": Night Witches, Resist and Bite, Hearts of Iron, Out of Control;
* "The Last Stand": Almost all of them. Last Dying Breath, Blood of Bannockburn, Rorke's Drift, The Last Stand, Shiroyama, Winged Hussars, The Last Battle, Camouflage.

Yeah, not bad.

I need to do something with my life.

And finally, here's an excerpt from a text file where I put things I deem important:
You're welcome.

Those poor actors though. Clarke was probably told to "look like a psycho", and Bran's actor was probably told, for the whole of this season really, to "look like you've popped one Xanax too many".

It's snowing and winter is here?! Again?! Where was it yesterday, disappearing since the end of the previous season? Where did it also disappear "a few weeks" later? Did they only just remember to add the snow back in so the throne room looks like Dany's old vision? Why am I even asking?

So Drogon takes Dany's corpse away. How exactly did everyone find out she'd been stabbed in the heart? Jon could've just rolled with "oh, she hopped on Drogon and left us all, why?, well, because I happen to be Aegon Targaryen and didn't want to shag my aunt". Done and done. Instead, Jon gets shipped off the Night's Watch to pacify the Unsullied, who aren't even on the continent any more. If that's not stupid, I don't know what is. Then again, this entire season's been nothing but stupid things, so that's not too surprising?

Bran's bound to make a great king. I'm sure he'll stop constantly speaking in cryptic statements. Other than that, there's something good to be said about making the living library your king. It's nice, even if it's a little silly that the lords would consider him at all. I also didn't mind Sansa ending up a Queen in the North, but Arya disappoints once again. I expected her to say she's going back to Braavos, or to want to go and see what's in Old Valyria or Asshai and the Shadowlands beyond... Eh.

What else? Oh yeah, Bronn being the Master of Coin and the entire council scene at the end felt like something you'd see in a parody. What the absolute **** was that?

And we end with Jon heading out beyond the wall with the wildlings. Why do the wildlings wanna go back to the icy wastes again, when a few seasons ago they were so keen on pushing through the wall and settling in the North, which is exactly what Jon offered them a while back? Why weren't we even told what's going on, whether Jon was made Lord Commander of the Watch again, or at the very least told why he wants to go beyond the wall in the first place? Why's he even there when the Unsullied aren't here to give a ****? Why am I even asking these questions?!


Well, it could've been worse, I guess. But that's true of everything, so it's not much of a challenge to beat.
If this is how the books end, I trust Martin to come up with a better explanation of why things happen the way they do. He'd better come up with one.

Jon kills Dany (just as I said he should) and Bran ends up being the king. I hope it's a troll, but I'm gonna be on the edge of my seat for next Monday, just in case: so I can fall off of it if it's hilarious.

I had a similar thought, but the show's version of the Maggy the Frog scene doesn't actually include any mention of valonqar, so I guess that's not as bad as it could've been.

What was the title for this episode? "The Curious Case of the Disappearing Archers, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Lay Siege Without Siege Engines"?

* Y'know, Dany's successful one-dragon raid against ALL the ballistae AND the fleet could've at least happened at night. That way it wouldn't be absolutely ridiculous. Which is it? Are the ballistae so dangerous that she can't circle the fleet to strike from behind, and that it's not too difficult to get three separate solid hits in a few seconds at great range, or are they so easy to take out that they couldn't hit a single dragon even once despite the fact it was attacking in broad daylight? Make up your minds already.
* Maybe if the... er... ballista commanders would shout "Loose" instead of "Fire" for no ****ing reason, they'd actually manage to let more shots off. You know, because their men would actually know they're supposed to be shooting the damn things, and not simply acknowledging the existence of (dragon)fire. What are you "firing"? You're not firing ****, you're fired! Who wrote this? It was Dumb and Dumber, apparently, and it really seems this nickname fits.
* So where'd the archers go after the gate was torn to ****? They just disappear? Why was the Golden Company ****ING OUTSIDE AGAIN?! "The defenders sally out to meet your assault" only happens when the defenders are too many, for ****'s sake. I thought there were thousands upon thousands of Golden Company soldiers here?
* Sound the bells! Why were people all over the city yelling for the bells to be sounded? Did they know beforehand, is it a King's Landing tradition to sound the bells to signal surrender? Did Jaime tell them? I expected Cersei to actually surrender, that would've made Dany even worse. What were we waiting for in that scene? Where were the Lannister forces? Were they only those guys who tried to surrender?
* Euron the master teleporter's efforts were subverted by Jaime's remarkable resilience to getting stabbed to the hilt with a poniard or something. Even Rambo, Bruce Willis, or Antonio Banderas would be impressed with such a bleeding ability.
* You know what would've been really cool? If Arya actually died in the city during the attack, killed by friendly fire (tee-hee). That would've been somewhat sad and spurring thoughts about the futility of devotion to vengeance or something along those lines. In fact, even though the whole episode I kept saying "nah, Arya, your plot armour is too think" I even thought that the convenient pony at the end was a hallucination of some sort.

Well, at least we got CLEGANEBOWL! I enjoyed the unceremonious way Qyburn got offed in. I didn't enjoy how the Kingsguard were apparently a bunch of ***** mooks though, easily taken out with a single slash. Barristan Selmy is probably spinning in his grave.

Next up: Jon (Azor Ahai) driving Longclaw (Lightbringer) through Dany's (Nissa Nissa's) heart. Please? Then again, Harington allegedly said the finale would be disappointing, so maybe I've got my hopes too high.

Note that, whilst I'd completely forgotten it yesterday, the ballistae have already been introduced, and Dany knew of them, making the lack of any reconnaissance in enemy waters -- not even scout ships, really? -- even more stupid than I thought it was. You know, for a moment I also thought this has to be a dream sequence, simply because Rhaegal's death came out of nowhere.

I did like Missandei too, even though she hasn't been doing anything recently, but I found the contrivance far too silly. They could've just had one single throwaway line to help set the scene, like Euron gleefully telling Cersei that they've captured X of Dany's people and that they'll all be made to walk the plank or something.

At the end of the day though, **** it, we're 67% done. Let's see where this mess takes us.

Where do I start? How convenient for Bronn that Jaime and Tyrion just happened to be in a house somewhere, where Bronn can appear and disappear at will! How convenient that Asha managed to retake the Iron Islands using the power of off-screen battles and her 20 good men! How did nobody see the Greyjoy fleet, especially Daenerys in the sky? What, is she just joyriding the damn things instead of doing recon? In what's effectively enemy territory? If the naval victory was so decisive, why didn't Euron's fleet blockade Dragonstone? I was legitimately confused for a moment there. Sansa tells Brienne, who tells Jaime that "they've kidnapped Missandei". Why is that relevant to any of these three, I don't know. Also, how convenient for Euron and co. that they managed to capture exactly Missandei, somehow, and not grab Tyrion or Varys. Were they just rescuing people at random? Why? (Also, it's Missandei, who grew up on a tropical island and should thus be a great swimmer, versus a dwarf and a fat guy, neither of which exercises a lot. Yeah?)

Also, have we gotten any information on the broader political situation recently? How's Jon supposed to bring the army over? Wasn't the Lannister army somewhere in the way? What's everyone else doing? Who is running the Stormlands, really? Wait, why is ser Davos, the notorious ex-smuggler with a ship on his crest riding ahead of the infantry, whereas the damn commander of the Unsullied is on a boat? (Sure, sure, the latter makes sense. Fatigue, faster transport, etc. Still though...)

All right, predictions time. Either Cersei goes Mad King and burns King's Landing down, or Dany does that. In either case, Dany wins to the lukewarm reception of everyone else, and pronounces herself queen. Jon isn't fine with that for some potentially semi-contrived reason (would be neat if she actually goes crazy and starts burning the city), and ultimately drives Longclaw through her heart, mirroring the Azor Ahai myth and fulfilling the prophecy, maybe a little too literally. Thus the ending is satisfying. fin.

Alternatively, at some point Arya shows up and kills both Gregor Clegane and Cersei and wins the game herself.

* So, the core group that looks like actual living beings (not the obviously reanimated humans or animals) was created out of thin air by the Children of the Corn Forest? Or are they morphed CofT?
Converted humans. We saw them converting Craster's babies into Others that one time, and there was a flashback showing the Children converting humans into Others too.

* Does the Night King have any backstory? Is he just the first one or is there some sort of a twist or something?
The one in the books does, I don't recall if we were given any about this one. Pretty sure he's just the first one of them.

* What role does the Long Night play? Is it just poetic symbolism or are they actually stronger in the dark? If so, why? Do the CotF have some special affinity for darkness or cold or something?
In this last battle (taking place at night), the Night King seemingly managed to summon a blizzard to help him out, which suggests that perhaps the Others themselves caused the Long Night, if it was an actual thing. Whether they're actually stronger in the dark... no idea, but I guess you could say that it would be the case, since humans would be weaker in the dark.

* Also, I thought the White Walkers attacked the CotF in that episode when the kids were dragging Bran to that half-tree prophet of some sorts? Did they have a falling out? Did the monster turn on its master? For what reason?
Yep, and yep. Why? I don't know. I don't recall an explanation.

I was correct that nobody essential would die.

What was the point of all the sneaking around in rooms? Where was Arya going? Are you honestly telling me that blood dripping from her forehead would make more noise than her movement, or just her armour? How'd she leave the room with the Hound and the red woman? How'd she get through the infinite amount of wights before the end boss? Well, at least she did her job as an assassin, I guess.

When did Theon become such a good spearman? Did Grey Worm leave half his men on the other side of the trench?! Why'd Beric just stand there and get crit-backstabbed only to then apparently walk into the next room without having three wights hanging off of him? Was that a minor continuity error?

I was a little disappointed that Tormund Giantsbane didn't kill the undead giant.

You know what, who cares, we're halfway through. The episode was kinda entertaining, though I was anticipating a higher body count. Jon running at the blue dragon three times only to steer clear when he aggroes it was funny too.

It's not Helm's Deep, that's for certain.

Don't worry, Asha Greyjoy will show up with 20 good men.

I find Arya more attractive than Sansa, for instance. Excluding the "look at how cold and badass I am" attitude she's been having recently.