I know you mean well, but you are wrong on several points.
1. A realistic roadmap is always a plus. It sets the correct expectations early.
Is it better to be disappointed in a roadmap or in the final product? If you don't know what you'll get, you will likely feel cheated. If your pet suggestion is not in the roadmap, you may rant about it, but won't say you were cheated out of something in the end. You may even get over it.
2. The dev blogs were sometimes lacking in substance. Those that were substantial were received well and people that are negative today were very positive and excited then. The hype in the dev blogs that sold Bannerlord was misleading - this is the cause of much ill will. Blame the people making the dev blogs, the forum fans had nothing to do with this.
What was telling and strange, was that after the EA, Callum declared there's no more need for dev blogs. Why? Because they served their purpose to sell the game. Only later they decided that dev blogs are necessary for EA as well, something that was obvious to everyone else.
3. The developers are paid employees, not free artists. Committing to a feature is normal part of development and not pointing a gun at a wage slave, as you imagine. The project manager is responsible to have the latest information on planned features, work estimates and milestones, including a release date. The problem is again with Taleworlds for their inability to track and manage their own progress since 2016 at least. This not only makes them always late, but uncertain about what they would do in a given time and what features need to be cut. They are improvising too much and not being pros enough. Again, their fault. "It will be done when it's done" is a horrible amateurish excuse.
Good valid points but I still want to give some support to the idea that some people work better with more flexibility and less pressure. I have myself as an example so I understand, because if too much pressure is put onto me I lose motivation rather than gain it. I also know people who work better under more pressure instead, it motivates them, so it all depends on the individual. There are people who are more structured and imperative about their work than others and some who are more free-spirited. If you give either one the opposite approach, you cause loss of productivity and quality in the long run. As long as the product delivered will be fine by the end it's all good for me. (there are some games that have been in early access for literal years, and they're still buggy messes, so TW did make some great progress in the given year imo).
Like some devs stated, many of the current developers were modders themselves, so it is something they enjoyed doing even before getting paid, and they did it in their own free time and in their own pace. Imagine doing that, and then entering a work environment where you are pressured by the clock and deadlines every minute, it just wouldn't work, and it's also very unlikely to happen if a majority of your developers are like that (also look at Cyberbug 77, that is what happens when you're pressured by the clock, even to 'very reputable developers'). So when you think about it like that, it's hard to imagine a sudden shift in personality and work ethic for this certain organization, it's just unrealistic to expect a high amount of professionalism in that way, given the background of the developers. There can indeed be made improvements without jumping to an extreme, but take this point into consideration also.
Maybe they are amateurish, it's a valid criticism, but as long as they deliver on a product that will be enjoyed for years (even if through modding - so they give a good base, a good engine, good modding tools with all the documentation needed etc), I will still think it's a good enough job they did. You could say that the expectations are higher than this and all of that is fine, but in all reality there are so many games that disappointed way more than this, so I can safely say I'm happy with the current development of bannerlord. I've put more than 1000 hours in it as it is now (as some others did), in a completely unmodded game, even with the terrible progression and lack of end-game features, and it's already way better than vanilla unmodded warband, which I always felt like modding at least the annoying companion incompatibilities and complaints (so from a singleplayer perspective, bannerlord is better than warband for me. I know many people say WB multiplayer is more to their taste, so I won't argue against that at the moment. And again, I'm talking about unmodded, raw experience, singleplayer in particular. So, for me, no other game really delivered this much with this little you could say (EA). It's just a fun game, fun concept.
About roadmaps and such, you could tell even from those early devblogs that indeed, it is not something they enjoyed doing. It felt very mechanical, forced. When you enjoy doing something you deliver more than some of those devblogs, I agree, but at least they did try. They hired a new community manager and gave it a go. People like saying they don't listen to community often, but I think that's the wrong perception and only comes from disappointment derived from big expectations rather than it being the raw undisputable truth. And, some ideas do get rejected by the management, and that's that as well, not everything suggested will be applied, which might seem like they're not listening sometimes.
All in all, I've been disappointed by games before. There are developers who don't listen to community feedback at all or communicate... so TW might not be perfect, but there is way worse out there. And they keep working on the game thankfully, when many developers just take the money and run straight after the release of EA (people were accusing TW of doing that too, so you can see the trauma right there). It's been a year and they're still working on the game so I just want to say that I am thankful for that. About the roadmap, I am personally indifferent to that, as long as they keep responding to some requests and suggestions sometimes (and they do), and the game keeps getting developed. I got my money's worth tenfold already. We're getting voice chat, battle mode, keep battles, more polished features eventually including some end-game stuff... just with all of these the game is in a really good shape I'd say, and the possibility of modding makes the replayability essentially limitless, which not many games have.
I'm just saying, some criticism is definitely valid, but let's not ignore the good side as well, and let's try to accept that some things will probably never be to our own taste, like many things in life. Ever buy an odd tasting food from time to time?... a disappointing dessert?... life is all about that balance, we simply cannot avoid it... what I'm trying to remain conscious about is, that when I'm mad at someone or something, I'm really mad at myself, at my own shortcomings, weaknesses, imperfections. When in a game I'm mad at a teammate who is playing poorly, I know I've definitely been mad at myself for playing poorly before. Just something worth thinking about sometimes. When was I blamed, and when did I start blaming myself, and when did I begin blaming others? It's all just a cycle that needs a little bit of compassion sprinkled about, and it really starts with compassion towards ourselves...