Uneducated, rash theories

[Anarion]

Do you think too much? Do you sometimes come to conclusions that you promptly dismiss as ridiculous? Do you sometimes carry on with the thoughts and end up with whacky theories?
Post ’em here if you got ’em. Sometimes it feels very good to have a narrow, twisted viewpoint, no matter how idiotic it is. Since this is Taleworlds, there’s probably no need for restraint, yet I have a feeling that Holocaust denying et al might be detrimental to the health of this thread and stunt its length of life considerably. I’ll start:

Women are naturally inclined to look down.

Women prefer to hug the earth and crawl on the ground, and that’s the way it’s always been. Men, with their mighty phalloi, have a tendency to look up and wish to reach high altitudes. Just look at the chthonic, mostly female, Greek gods versus the Olympian sky gods who were predominantly male.  If you watch programs on cave explorers, you may notice that a considerable amount of them are female. That may not be a coincidence as with the fact that nearly all pilots are male.

 

[ChurchOfFonz]

I saw a hilarious conspiracy theory on MW2 forums.

After two weeks of exhaustive study, and pouring through thousands of lines of code, I have finally got the proof I need to bring this conspiracy to light. The programmers at Infinity Ward are good, but I'M better. Do not worry, all will make sense shortly...

Have you ever been playing MW2 and thought "that's not right, I shot him first!"? Maybe you ambushed an enemy from behind, blasted him with 5 rounds to the chest, and then he spins around shoots you once in the foot, and you die? Everyone blames lag. Well, it's NOT lag. It's something far worse, and it just may signal the end of "fair" gaming forever.

While investigating the recent claims, and going through the code of MW2, I made a discovery in one of the subroutines of the game AI. It's called "spfg.exe" (we'll call it SniperFrog since all will make sense just bear with me) and it's an AI subroutine that "evens" out the game by lending additional AI resources to a player, or by limiting the player in really cheap ways.

For example, you ever start playing really good, and suddenly you go on a death streak where you can't even barely MOVE without getting killed? You'll get slaughtered like 5 times in a minute? That's the SniperFrog program in action. Alternately, maybe you'll have been having a rough streak, and suddenly you'll go on an amazing killstreak and it feels like you can't do anything wrong? Again, SniperFrog.

The SniperFrog program is meant to "even" out the game. So that ALL players can feel like they're awesome at some points, even if that has to come at the expense of other players doing poorly. It's a plan by IW to sell more copies of the game. You CAN disable SniperFrog by going offline, SniperFrog is dependent on it's concious AI mainframe to work and it's only available online.

 

[Adorno]

Women are naturally inclined to look down.

Women prefer to hug the earth and crawl on the ground, and that’s the way it’s always been. ..

That's perfectly in line with gender symbolism all the way back to Plato.
The male dominates and is associated with the sky, the mind, the spirit, rationalism, intelligence,
whereas women are associated with (mother) earth, ground, the physical, feelings etc.
Dominated people look down as a sign of submission...

 

[Pharaoh Llandy]

Women are naturally inclined to look down.

I know I am; how else are you going to spot the dog **** before you step in it?

(Or I suppose for our bare-footed ancestors, the viper before you step on it. Women naturally used to fulfill the gatherer role, so would look close to the ground for food sources, whereas men, the hunters and protectors, need to look around and to the horizon)

Also, read the title originally as "Uneducated rash theories". Most amusing.

 

[Anarion]

Alright, maybe it isn't complete nonsense. The main point of the theory is that the majority of pilots being male and many females being interested in cave exploration is caused by some primal urge or predisposition, for which I have no proof. I did have a better and more offensive one in store when I came up with the idea, but when I was making the thread I had already forgotten it.

@ChurchOfFonz  I was wondering about that.

 

[Adorno]

Women naturally used to fulfill the gatherer role, so would look close to the ground for food sources, whereas men, the hunters and protectors, need to look around and to the horizon

That argument can't be falsified (a general problem with socio-biological explanations to phenomenons).

 

[Fawzia dokhtar-i-Sanjar]

Whereas men look up all the time, thus ending up with bird poop in their eyes and bruises on their knees from tripping.  Not to mention snakebites and dog-poopy feet.  It all dates to the fact that Eve tasted the apple first, you see - she got the best bits and acquired more sense accordingly.

 

[bugman]

I would have thought the guys looks down and the women look up. There is a trend of womenfolk being sodding tiny compared to men.

 

[italiano]

I have many, but sharing them won't make me any friends .

 

[FrisianDude]

Well, I'm uneducated in the field of medicine, but my theory is that my rash is terribly annoying at times.

 

[Fawzia dokhtar-i-Sanjar]

I have a problem with rashness but cannot produce a theory as to why.

 

[Seff]

I have a problem with rashes - they could be herpes!

 

[FrisianDude]

Then I'd have had herpes since I was four or something, so that's not very likely in my case.

 

[Dudro]

I saw a hilarious conspiracy theory on MW2 forums.

After two weeks of exhaustive study, and pouring through thousands of lines of code, I have finally got the proof I need to bring this conspiracy to light. The programmers at Infinity Ward are good, but I'M better. Do not worry, all will make sense shortly...

Have you ever been playing MW2 and thought "that's not right, I shot him first!"? Maybe you ambushed an enemy from behind, blasted him with 5 rounds to the chest, and then he spins around shoots you once in the foot, and you die? Everyone blames lag. Well, it's NOT lag. It's something far worse, and it just may signal the end of "fair" gaming forever.

While investigating the recent claims, and going through the code of MW2, I made a discovery in one of the subroutines of the game AI. It's called "spfg.exe" (we'll call it SniperFrog since all will make sense just bear with me) and it's an AI subroutine that "evens" out the game by lending additional AI resources to a player, or by limiting the player in really cheap ways.

For example, you ever start playing really good, and suddenly you go on a death streak where you can't even barely MOVE without getting killed? You'll get slaughtered like 5 times in a minute? That's the SniperFrog program in action. Alternately, maybe you'll have been having a rough streak, and suddenly you'll go on an amazing killstreak and it feels like you can't do anything wrong? Again, SniperFrog.

The SniperFrog program is meant to "even" out the game. So that ALL players can feel like they're awesome at some points, even if that has to come at the expense of other players doing poorly. It's a plan by IW to sell more copies of the game. You CAN disable SniperFrog by going offline, SniperFrog is dependent on it's concious AI mainframe to work and it's only available online.

That's funny.  Rambling of someone who sucks a FPS'.

 

[ChurchOfFonz]

But it seems so true!

 

[The Shadow]

This thread should be renamed "COGlory" 

 

[Æon]

This thread should be renamed "COGlory" 

Why change it when it's already synonymous?

 

[italiano]

I have a theory the humidy, a potential storm, or lighting, makes people hornier. I have a number of check-outs and a phone number as evidence. I will look into this further.

 

[AWdeV]

Post photographic evidence.

 

[Lord Burgess1]

My theory is that if you search lots of random thinks beggining with b, when your Girlfriend comes to use the computer she won't look at all the breast porn, meaning you don't have to delete your history so much, ergo more fapping and more sex.