No Lords want to join Kingdom

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Further to my previous post, I've just left the Kingdom of Vlandia - have a charm skill level of 152, Leadership of 209, but am unable to even get the dialogue challenge to try and convince Lords to join the Kingdom.

Due to this, I'm paying around 8k in tributes to different kingdoms every day - and its getting progressively worse. I do have a couple of parties of my Clan, but don't have enough influence to turn a companion into a clan yet.

Anyone got any tips on how to grow my Kingdom? To be fair, I also sucked at it in Warband... so its definitely me and not the game this time xD
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