Adorno said:
He's making up words in the grammar thread...this is not doing my higgeh any good at all.
Improve your bloody grammar!
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He's making up words in the grammar thread...this is not doing my higgeh any good at all.
All words are made up.
How droll. Except you forgot to define all those neologisms.
In this verse, do I write is or are?
In a dream I flew out,
beyond the Moon and Sun,
to realise that we
and everything is/are one.
In a dream I flew out,
beyond the Moon and Sun,
to realise that we
and everything is/are one.
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Thank you. You'd be surprised how counter-intuitive it can be to a foreigner.
Forgive me.
"to realise that we
and everything are one."
... Is completely fine and the preferred way (because of we).
I just didn't read the line above with "we" because I'm at work and flustered due to some reports. Adorno, it's fine as "are".
To clarify, did you write this? It isn't very good. The whole stanza reads like it was written by someone who isn't English. For a start, "sun" and "one" don't rhyme.
"to realise that we
and everything are one."
... Is completely fine and the preferred way (because of we).
I just didn't read the line above with "we" because I'm at work and flustered due to some reports. Adorno, it's fine as "are".
To clarify, did you write this? It isn't very good. The whole stanza reads like it was written by someone who isn't English. For a start, "sun" and "one" don't rhyme.
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Of course they rhyme. TintinSetsu is a northern barbarian in denial of his own accent. He was wrong just 4 posts ago, he'll be wrong again.
Wrong. They only rhyme if you pronounce the syllable the same way. I pronounce "sun" as "snoo" because the "u" is just an upside down "n" at heart (and vice versa) and "one" as "whoawan". Get it right, pissflap.
Well, that's not good. It's part of a long poem I wrote about the life and philosophy of Giordano Bruno ?
Can you elaborate on how it's poor stanza?
It purports to be inlgés, but has "And" at the start of a would be sentence, therefore burn it and drown its ashes in chemo-therapeutic concentrate. What's more, green, scaly and truly magnificent dragons can and do exist in this most English and very well rounded old tongue of unimpeachably sound and illustrious metaphorical complexion.
It doesn't sound unusual if you use "are".
"Is" applies only to single things, so you would say "Everything is one", but not "We and everything is one", because the "and" groups the things to either side of it.
Technically, you should say "we and everything else are one", because "everything" includes "we", but as long as you can prove in court that you are a licenced poet, you should be clear to use that kind of superdubious language.
I feel obliged to point out that "out" in the first line doesn't rhyme very strongly with "we", in the third line and the lines also have different syllable counts, unless you say "re-a-lise", instead of "real-ise", but I understand that the modern style is to just write whatever pops into one's head.
Something like
"In a dream, I flew out, free,
beyond the Moon and Sun,
to realise, somehow, that we
and all the rest are one.
/
In a dream I flew, right out,
beyond the Moon and Sun,
to realise, beyond all doubt
that everything is one.
I then just made sure that it really was grammatically single
on a forum equipped, both with mountain and blades
before letting it know that it made me emphatically tingle
and told it to choose me, then a dress and bridesmaids."
avoids that, but in all honesty your poem doesn't seem out of place in its context just as it is.
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Great. Now you can 'finish' the entire poem 
Only lines 2 and 4 are supposed to rhyme.
Realise has 3 syllables: re*al*ise.
Your verse has different number syllables. I was aiming for 6 syllables in all lines.
In a dream I flew, right out, 7
beyond the Moon and Sun, 6
to realise, beyond all doubt 8
that everything is one. 6
1
In a dream I flew out,
beyond the Moon and Sun,
to realise that we
and everything are one.
2
Suddenly skies were clear.
A veil was pushed aside.
The sun is just a star.
A door was opened wide.
3
The endless universe,
nothing is as it seems.
Nothing lies below us,
and nothing reigns supreme.
4
The firmament and stars
I've blown apart today.
Before us lays a path,
a pure and brighter way.
5
The world is infinite,
there is no down or up.
The woman's not below;
the man is not atop.
6
It's not just symbolism,
fantastical ideas.
It's the physical world,
there are no borders here.
7
Seeing the opposites
and follow where they meet.
Such a profound magic,
reveiling their deceit.
8
In poison we find cure,
a circle forms a line.
The anti-Aristotle
sees space entwined with time.
9
Look beyond the limits
and ask what lies ahead.
You must become a flame
so you are not mislead.
10
The hierarchy of fools
preserving old ideas,
in academic halls,
to anyone with ears.
11
Even the brightest minds
find my ideas grotesque.
Their world is breaking down:
the logic of the West.
12
From France to British shores,
my writings will be spread;
down through central Europe
- to Italy I'm lead.
13
Italy, my first love
my mother's tongue, so dear.
The final journey home,
returning without fear.
14
Was I invited here
as bait, a cunning ruse,
to the inquisition,
where sanity will lose?
15
I heard about my crimes,
but truth is not a sin.
My footsteps are the light
for others to walk in.
16
The bedrock of the Church
is shaken by my thoughts,
but I will not subside,
or change my burning words.
17
My innocence is clear
to a mind of reason.
If you follow logic
it can not be treason.
18
You think I will forget
such a comedic trial?
Not even time will fade
a memory so vile.
19
As I kneel on the floor,
perhaps you sentence me
with greater fear than I
receive this travesty.
20
If I must burn for this
the Church is a sinner,
and will for years to come
be seen as a killer.
21
No amount of water
will clear you of this deed.
The smoke will show my will
and ashes be my seed.
22
You can light my body
and see it as a win,
but there will always be
truth burning from within.
In a dream I flew out,
beyond the Moon and Sun,
to realise that we
and everything are one.
2
Suddenly skies were clear.
A veil was pushed aside.
The sun is just a star.
A door was opened wide.
3
The endless universe,
nothing is as it seems.
Nothing lies below us,
and nothing reigns supreme.
4
The firmament and stars
I've blown apart today.
Before us lays a path,
a pure and brighter way.
5
The world is infinite,
there is no down or up.
The woman's not below;
the man is not atop.
6
It's not just symbolism,
fantastical ideas.
It's the physical world,
there are no borders here.
7
Seeing the opposites
and follow where they meet.
Such a profound magic,
reveiling their deceit.
8
In poison we find cure,
a circle forms a line.
The anti-Aristotle
sees space entwined with time.
9
Look beyond the limits
and ask what lies ahead.
You must become a flame
so you are not mislead.
10
The hierarchy of fools
preserving old ideas,
in academic halls,
to anyone with ears.
11
Even the brightest minds
find my ideas grotesque.
Their world is breaking down:
the logic of the West.
12
From France to British shores,
my writings will be spread;
down through central Europe
- to Italy I'm lead.
13
Italy, my first love
my mother's tongue, so dear.
The final journey home,
returning without fear.
14
Was I invited here
as bait, a cunning ruse,
to the inquisition,
where sanity will lose?
15
I heard about my crimes,
but truth is not a sin.
My footsteps are the light
for others to walk in.
16
The bedrock of the Church
is shaken by my thoughts,
but I will not subside,
or change my burning words.
17
My innocence is clear
to a mind of reason.
If you follow logic
it can not be treason.
18
You think I will forget
such a comedic trial?
Not even time will fade
a memory so vile.
19
As I kneel on the floor,
perhaps you sentence me
with greater fear than I
receive this travesty.
20
If I must burn for this
the Church is a sinner,
and will for years to come
be seen as a killer.
21
No amount of water
will clear you of this deed.
The smoke will show my will
and ashes be my seed.
22
You can light my body
and see it as a win,
but there will always be
truth burning from within.
Only lines 2 and 4 are supposed to rhyme.
Realise has 3 syllables: re*al*ise.
Your verse has different number syllables. I was aiming for 6 syllables in all lines.
In a dream I flew, right out, 7
beyond the Moon and Sun, 6
to realise, beyond all doubt 8
that everything is one. 6
"Re-a-lise" doesn't have 3 syllables in normal speech.
To realise, then, that we
It's not just sym-bol-ism - 7 syllables.
'Snot just symbolism
The an-ti-Ar-is-to-tle - 7 syllables.
The Anti-Aristotle
For a rhyming scheme that only has two words in a stanza rhyme, "up" and "top" are a bit shaky. They might rhyme if you're speaking in a very broad accent where they sound the same to you, but wouldn't to someone who actually speaks with that accent natively. Oh woe, ist not poetry the germ of an difficult life!
7
Seeing the opposites
and follow where they meet.
Such a profound magic,
revealing their deceit.
"Seeing" needs to be paired with "following". A six syllable solution is:
To see the opposites
and follow where they meet,/-/— (this would normally be a ";" in prose, but those are generally neglected in poetry. A comma is considered an acceptable stylistic option, with dashes indicating an even greater pause that isn't always necessary, despite the inferred semicolon, because of the inherently staggered flow between lines in poetry that's absent from prose)
"Comedic" normally refers to the art of comedy, while "comical" refers to specific jokes. I guess which you use depends on the tone that you want, but "comical" would sound more natural to me here. You could also change the phrasing to match the pace of the paired line if you wanted:
18
You think I will forget
so comical a trial?
Not even time will fade
a memory so vile.
"Sin-ner" and "kil-ler" don't rhyme.
If that is the format you're using, the poem is otherwise fine.
To realise, then, that we
It's not just sym-bol-ism - 7 syllables.
'Snot just symbolism
The an-ti-Ar-is-to-tle - 7 syllables.
For a rhyming scheme that only has two words in a stanza rhyme, "up" and "top" are a bit shaky. They might rhyme if you're speaking in a very broad accent where they sound the same to you, but wouldn't to someone who actually speaks with that accent natively. Oh woe, ist not poetry the germ of an difficult life!
7
Seeing the opposites
and follow where they meet.
Such a profound magic,
revealing their deceit.
"Seeing" needs to be paired with "following". A six syllable solution is:
To see the opposites
and follow where they meet,/-/— (this would normally be a ";" in prose, but those are generally neglected in poetry. A comma is considered an acceptable stylistic option, with dashes indicating an even greater pause that isn't always necessary, despite the inferred semicolon, because of the inherently staggered flow between lines in poetry that's absent from prose)
"Comedic" normally refers to the art of comedy, while "comical" refers to specific jokes. I guess which you use depends on the tone that you want, but "comical" would sound more natural to me here. You could also change the phrasing to match the pace of the paired line if you wanted:
18
You think I will forget
so comical a trial?
Not even time will fade
a memory so vile.
"Sin-ner" and "kil-ler" don't rhyme.
If that is the format you're using, the poem is otherwise fine.
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Not in the Queen's English, Elk!
Memo to the Queen: You're wrong.
realize
[ ree-uh-lahyz ]
realize
[ ree-uh-lahyz ]
