http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,162299.msg3920418.html#msg3920418
Read this, play 2 days and then come back to ask questions.Then move all difficulty to full and start a new game with realistic save.
You can join a knighthood order, those are the elite troops of Pop and have chapters in some towns, others you have to build yourself.You can join an order( kinghts of clarion call, shadow legion, immortal, Kinghts of Eventide or Dawn) by defeating 3 of them and get their items.You can do this by talking to a order guard in the towns of it's chapter or your castle if you build one