Corrupt a wish

[SwadianJedi]

Granted, all new TV shows are now Allah-aweful.
I wish I could play every musical instrument in the world.

 

[Sir Saladin]

Granted, you are compelled to play every single musical instrument that is in existence, including every instrument in every pawn shop and high school and you will not be freed from this curse until you have either played every instrument in the world or you die trying. I thought about making you immortal to give you more time but I decided to be merciful.

I wish nobody would make new versions of movies or television shows from the 1970s or 1980s.

 

[tansvanio]

Granted, the time period 1970 to 1990 no longer exists. There is no memory of it and all the acomplishments mankind performed are completely erased from existence. The whole thing is now considered a strange phenomenon and the whole world is very different.


I wish I could lure people with my mandolin.

 

[Kentucky 『 ＨＥＩＧＵＩ 』 James]

Granted, the time period 1970 to 1990 no longer exists. There is no memory of it and all the acomplishments mankind performed are completely erased from existence.

I'm okay with this.

 

[Matiss_Veinbergs]

Granted.
You become world famous assasin with his mandolin, luring people over the edges or into traps.
Unfortunatly someone hides a knife under your pillow and your cat dies.
You die in age of 90 becuse of you forgot to burry your cat for 50 years.

I wish i could complete one thig, and THEN go to the next, not doing one, then secod, returning to first.

 

[Hospes fori]

No offence, Matiss_Veinbergs, but it looks like you are trying to ruin this thread with might and main.

 

[Matiss_Veinbergs]

Ehr... No thats not my intention.
My intention is to make as many people dead from laughs.
Basicly mass murder.

 

[Lumos]

Granted. Many people die of laughter, and you become persecuted in 198 countries - all 196 of them, according to Google, my own (Luminaria, Great Liberal Democratic People's Republic of), which I founded in 2038, and your own country which somehow failed to become popular and still has only you as the sole citizen. And Great Presidential Ruler. Your best friend actually accepted to be your Grand Vice Vizier, but... well, he was your best friend, so he did laugh at your jokes... until the end... Sorry...
Anyways, obsessing over Breaking Bad, you try to become like Walter White and get terribly confused with the final season's last eight episodes' iffy writing. Unfortunately, nothing works out as intended, and when you find yourself back in your old home, with raggedy clothes, but without an old car, without a machine gun in the boot, without a poisonous capsule to retrieve, and somehow surrounded by many armed police officers (your next-door neighbour did call them), you see that you're cornered, and suddenly realise how ironic this has all become. You burst out laughing, laughing at your very self... Everyone else around you's got earmuffs, but you don't give a damn, because for once, you're laughing for the sake of it; for once you actually feel like laughing from the heart.
And finally exposed to a proper emotion, you realise that you're not at all immune to your own deadly weapon.
You laugh yourself to death in a most tragicomic manner.

Because seriously, nobody ever laughed at your jokes except you.

Fortunately, this all happened inside your head. As noted above, the only time people laugh at your jokes is when they're sardonic.
No offence.


I wish for the power to instantly remove a person from existence and people's memories, but in a "safe" manner that has nothing to do with time travel and paradoxes.

 

[Dantе]

Granted, but the power of such a weapon and the mere knowldege of how to utilise it provokes the masses to rise in a revolt against the government. Mass protests around the globe ground the economy and politics to a halt. In an attempt to bring down the unrest, the government starts using unconventional means. The Millitary takes control of all the power in the countries, and a regime on electricity, internet censorship and strict CCTV control ensues. People who were out of the grid formed organisations that fought against the governments. In the end, this power was never used properly because of the chaos and public massacres that happened because of the riots.

I wish I had the power to instantly become friends and be liked by anyone. Just for the heck of it.

 

[Hospes fori]

Granted, but the power of such a weapon and the mere knowldege of how to utilise it provokes the masses to rise in a revolt against the government.

How could anyone learn about Lumos's sinister power though? If I have understood him correctly, by removing any remambrance of the vanished persons nobody will be able to directly notice their absence. The only thing that could make people wonder are obvious legacies of the vanished. I am not sure if the missing information will straightaway lead to uprisings rather than conspiracy theories etc. at first. And it will be even more difficult to detect Lumos as its cause. It surely is an interesting scenario.

 

[Dantе]

Oh, I read it three times but it seems I didn't got what he wanted to say. That indeed is quite a predicament.

 

[Lumos]

I figured one should be stealthy if possessing such a power.

 

[Matiss_Veinbergs]

Granted, but you get stomped in a crowd, where everyone wants to be your friend.
43 people died that day.

I wish for nothing.

 

[tansvanio]

Granted, but the concept of nothing is actually something, so your wish ultimately does not get fulfilled. There is no definition for nothing, no thought can describe the empty or the nothing. The mere act of attempting to describe nothing is a failure.


I wish an unknown random major fact about the nature of the universe would be revealed on the 11th of this month.

 

[Hospes fori]

Granted, but you get stomped in a crowd, where everyone wants to be your friend.

That reminds me of something.

 

[Matiss_Veinbergs]

Wow, thats dark.

 

[Brodacious]

Granted, but the concept of nothing is actually something, so your wish ultimately does not get fulfilled. There is no definition for nothing, no thought can describe the empty or the nothing. The mere act of attempting to describe nothing is a failure.


I wish an unknown random major fact about the nature of the universe would be revealed on the 11th of this month.

Granted, it didnt happen.

I wish for bacon to be made the national bird of America.

 

[Bluehawk]

Granted, but pigs become a protected species and bacon is pulled from store shelves and taken off every menu.

I wish

Spoiler

Matiss_Veinbergs was unbanned.

 

[Kentucky 『 ＨＥＩＧＵＩ 』 James]

Granted, but he returns "with more than wind from [his] mouth".1

1. Veinbergs, Matiss An Introduction: Pieces of Taint ed. Orchid, (Taleworlds, 2014), 1690.

 

[Evelyn]

Unneeded, that wish is self-corrupting.

Also you forgot to make a wish.

NR: Jacob, when he makes a wish.