These have probably been answered already, BUT
- Is there anyway I can start a war, and should I?
Yes. You can either vote through the Kingdom relationship screen (on PC default button is K). Click on the Kingdom and vote to go to war, this costs influence. Alternatively, if you don't have the influence for this, just attack caravans or parties from the Kingdom you want to go to war with. You'll lose relation with the rule of your Kingdom, but it will probably start a war. - I took this time to get a wife, do I need to do anything to start making babies (stay in same city/castle, etc..?) And will my babies grow up if I have no deaths on? Not sure if they still age.
You need to stay in a settlement with her overnight. It's something like a 12% chance of her getting pregnant. However, if you selected "births and death" to off at the start, you can't have children. - Not really sure what my next plan of attack will be. I wanted to keep getting Aserai land so it's close to each other, but if war against another faction should I try to get castles/cities so far away from these 2? I plan to be my own kingdom eventually not sure how I will defend them so far away.
I'd create an army and try to capture as many towns as possible. Capture the ones closest to your current fiefs, as these will more likely be rewarded to you. Be aware that, if you leave your Kingdom and keep your fiefs, the Kingdom will instantly declare war on you. You'll need a few million denars in the bank to deal with the starting tribute payments. - not really sure how to build governors I been looking for companions with high leadership/steward/medicine. If I want a governor in a city that was originally Aserai I only want to put an Aserai governor there because choosing a different faction would be bad, right? Or is it the faction I choose in the beginning?
Make sure the governors are the same culture as the settlements, especially for settlements that aren't of your culture. This will minimise loyalty loss. Personally, I only look at the Governors effects on the settlement (I probably should look at Steward etc, but we move)
