I save a lord's army, I don't get any relationship, I defend another lord's fielf, no relationship gain. I convince an enemy to defect to our kingdom, our vassals hate me more. Marry a lady, relationship resets to 0. Currently I couldn't even find a way to increase relationships with your spouse. There are thousand unnecessary ways to lose relationships but so few options to gain some. Devs should tweak this in my opinion. Its really simple even. Warband was better in this aspect.