for me it was nearly the same. Had 2 cities and 3 castles. I had NO Vassal but my companions, my enemies loved me (released them after defeat permanently), but every week I failed the Conspiracy-Quest and its counter grew on, and even if I had defeated an enemy Kingdom, made peace, there were no guarantee, that they won´t declare war on me, or my Kingdom (who, btw?) on them.
Thats why I play on Clan-Level, not going further with the main Quest, when I got the Banner, I´ll give it to no one and don´t tell anyone, I have it, until its clear, that the Quest isn´t buggy anymor / is completed. Just missing a few things as a kingdom, as there is the possibitlity to command your companions, to follow your army, for example. But I can attack other Kingdoms, can take their castles & cities, and if I have enough, I can make peace with them. So it´s not the best way, but it works... especially because there is no real late-game now. Hope they get mor story in main and Character-Stories, mor Questlines and Interaction with NSCs , like to grew up relations to anybody without having to defeat him in battle or wake up your companions interacting with you, when you don´t pay the wages for your troop.
So im hoping on the developers