Guys, guys, guys.
You can't forget my horse! Jimmah the retarded saddlehorse/hunter.
It all started one day in the map called, field by a river..
We were all relaxing in the hot warm glow of the sun, sitting on the steps of one of the small farm houses.
Now, it had been a nice season for wheat and we already harvested most of it so it was our small break. We were supposed to get this wheat to the near by Rhodok Outpost.
But instead we decided to bake a delicious array of baked good, we cooked for about five hours using the stoves inside of the tool house.
We came out proud happy beyond belief think we made a wonderful batch of pastries, but then one of our horses (Mine) decided to walk up to the breads, inhaling a waft of the sweet smelling scent. He trotted around with pleasure hoping and pleading for one of the baked goods. Of course I agreed with Jimmy, he was my favorite horse after all.
I slowly placed one of the breads on the ground, trying not to excite him too much. He didn't much mind the small amount of dirt that was now on the bottom. He quickly devoured the the piece of doughy bread. We all stared at the steed as he stiffened. As if he was a inanimate object... He quickly spread out his legs letting his teeth show letting out a large funny sounding NEH. He stayed in this position for about a hour... We got tired so we took a nap, it was pouring with rain... He was still standing there. I scratched my head, wiping of some of the rain... So I mounted Jimmy, he began to buck around and bolted off across the field. I was slightly surprised I never seen Jimmy act so strangely, we arrived at the windmill, a man came walking out with with a torch and a club... He stared at me and Jimmy slowly slurring these exact words. "We're gonna break your legsh noice and shlow."
Jimmy took immediate action after multiple men came running through the fog. He began to buck crushing the skulls of his opponents, blood and brain matter strewn across the ground. The leader began to run, as fast as he could. But it wasn't enough he slipped in a small patch of mud, his face planting into the ground. We was crawling away backwards, screaming in a odd way... Jimmy NEY'ed...
And stomped his face in with the metal horse shoe attached to his hoof.. He face was now inverted blood slowly pouring from the man's eye sockets and mouth, his nose was no longer visible. Bloody bone was hidden by the mud and dirt.
For his courageous acts against River Pirates, Jimmy earned the name "Jimmah the retarded Saddlehorse" I will always be in his dept and I shall always love him.