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Well, it's been a while hasn't it ?

Four gay men walk into a bar. After a few beers, they decide to have a farting contest.
The first guy prepares himself, and let's out a short "Pffffff". The other three nod, saying it wasn't bad.
The second guy goes ahead, with a longer "Pffffffffffft". They nod, acknowledging the length and slight wet ending.
Third guy goes ahead: "Pffffffffffffffffffsht". They all clap, saying that's a brilliant one.
Finally, the fourth guy goes ahead, and lets out a massive ripper. The other three look at him: "Oh, so you're a virgin ?"


Translated from French, so sorry if it's a bit ****.

I do find it funny how the bulk of every single guild's questline is Radiant Quests: take the Thieves' Guild for instance, if you want it to progress in any way you have to keep on doing the quests from Delvin and Vex OVER AND OVER AND OVER again until you do 5 of them in a hold, at which point you get a special quest that can be kind of interesting.

Companions bulks up its questline by having you clear a few caves.

Civil War has you attack a few forts.

Dark Brotherhood gives you the option at the end of murdering random people for money.

Mages' Guild is actually the least worst, in the sense that most of the quests have a bit more story behind them, but it's still lacklustre, and the ending is bollocks.

Which is why I don't get why reviewers give the game a ****ing 10/10 when most of it is randomly generated fetch quests !

I found that ridiculously funny. I mean, sure, it's a lot nicer than the Morrowind treatment of: it's there, but **** me is it complicated to achieve, but still: oh, just fetch me a soul gem and I'll do it for free !

Completely improvised dish: homemade cheese sauce with garlic, onion, chicken and peas with some pasta. Tastes alright, nothing to write home about though.

Does anyone know a good cheese to do cheese sauce ? I used an obscene amount of cheddar with this and it still didn't taste cheesy enough.

Same here.

And please, shave off that filthy caterpillar on your upper lip.

So, all my flatmates have left, so I've got the flat to myself for the next week. Means I can walk about in underwear, whistle loudly, listen to porn through speakers rather than headphones, and take a **** without closing the door. AMAZING !

Because that would've been helpful and nice, which is physically impossible on TaleWorlds.

Asshat.

I quite like the scratching, makes me last longer. The biting is a bit more annoying though, I find.

My back's covered in scratches and I've got teeth marks on my right shoulder. She wasn't that cute, but that's the first time I've been laid in a long time.

I like croissants.

Go for red.

Are the Netherlands a pie ?

Wellen's German, he just has a chip on his shoulder.

Also, most new people get a hard time, 'tis sadly the way of things if you can't adapt easily. This place is full of bitter, cynical people who abhor change.

Dear flatmates, thank you for the drunken wake-up call at 2:30AM. It was much needed given I have an exam in less than 10 hours. I appreciate the forward thinking, sleep would indeed be useless.

****ing muppets.

Inert just means it won't blow in your face without something else added to it. Like fire

Double post for the lulz:


Mushroom, garlic, prawns, cream and cheese pasta dish. Took 20 minutes, tasted ****ING AMAZING.

Sliced bread.

Or those electric turkey carving knives.

So I've been drinking for about 12 hours non-stop. Well not quite, but went to see a mate, ended up doing a drinking roulette game. Had a decent amount of vodka and schnapps, then cider and a large bottle of beer, then chips, then more beer. I feel epic and invincible right now.

So went out last night. Had a bit of vodka, a pitcher, a lager, then a fair few beers at this (rather ****ty to be fair) metal club place. Music was FAR too loud and the room was ****ing boiling hot even without anybody inside, so just stayed in the smoking area a lot with my mates. Problem is I got singed on the arm by other smokers a fair few times because of how many people were in there. Left pretty early, got a Maccy D's and caught a cab back home.