Recent content by Mulek

I feel ignored :<

Where the **** is Dungeon Keeper I & II?

But it hath been writthen so on the image. Me nem nesa.

It is your best source of fun.

Ok so basically it looks like we will stay together. I am not sure of myself in the future, I hope my attitude won't change for a more harsh one. As you said Seff, I do seem to have skipped the anger phase of the coping proccess, but on the other hand I have been in a simmilar situation myself so I think I am just handling this pretty well from my point of view. I know what alcohol or other substanced may do to your thinking proccess, totally changing your way of looking at things basically cutting off your sane self from the things you do.

The thing I am afraid the most right now is that she is not treating it correctly for her point of view, concentrating to much on the impact on us instead of what the situation did or may have done to her. I fear that if it changes towards more self loathing she might not be able to stand me as a partner because by being there and being understanding she will be constantly reminded of the thing that makes her hate herself and feel that my love for her is not deserved.

That is what I am thinking - it wasn't her own will that it happened, but her lack of reason that enabled it to happen. It hurts like hell either way.
I don't think she will use willingly ever again anyway - whether we stay together or not. Let get to a state when you allow one or two complete strangers to **** you must be a terrible thing after you realize what had happened.

She also said that she took two doses - one of what they claimed was cocaine and the other one she thought was the same thing. No idea what was it now. Having studied in Amsterdam she has an expirience of how her body reacts to all the usual drugs, so I am still suspecting they made her take something nobody would take themselves willingly. According to her and our friends (again, I trust this) she doesn't react to other drugs like amph or mdma due to both her own hemistry and due to type of antidepressant she is taking - I am on the same thing so I know it is true according to the leaflets. Didn't try any drugs besides weed myself.

To answer your stupid question - she is not a frequent user. She didn't do any more than a year before, just sometimes when the mood is right and she has access to it. She doesn't buy it. This is confirmed by our shared friends that knew her more during the years we had virtually no contact and before we even got in touch again, so no reason to doubt it. Especially since they are open about their drug use.

Yep.

I mean I know to be on a lookout regardless and I will take a HIV test anyway, just to be sure.

She got tested so it is impossible for me to get something without her having it, isn't it? (question, not asshattery)

Hi guys and gals, long time no see to most of ya all.

I have a really big problem... I've been dating this girl since the beginning of September, circling around each other some months more... She has been my high school crush, we reunited during the summer and it started almost right away.
I am really in love with her right now and can't imagine living without her. I want to spend almost every breathing moment I can with her - apart from the time I need for myself as an introvertic... It was kinda hard for both of us at the beginning because of her sometimes control freaky phases, but we worked it out. Moreover, we both take anti-depression meds and both went through some **** we had to take therapy to accept.

That being said, lets move to the main issue of the problem. During new years we had our first, short vacations together - a two day visit to Wrocław. We were spending the nights at a hotel where may other young people came to party for the Eve. Everything was going great till the night - I drank more than her and went to sleep much earlier than she wanted to. Being bored and party hungry, after she met some guys twice while smoking (the hotel policy forced people to go outside to have a smoke), she accepted their invitation to their room. She was already heavily drunk and they offered her cocaine - the only drug she enjoys so after not thinking much she accepted. It was probably spiked by something else, cause she got really high for about 6h (normally its more like 2) and her sex drive went through the roof. And here comes the problem - she had sex with one or both of the guys. She doesn't remember clearly.
The morning after as I was expecting what happened from what she told me she was still high and acted very hurtful, not even trying to make up a viable story about what happened. She even kinda joke about it that they wanted to have sex with her and she declined when I said I suspect that something had happened. I was still drunk after not sleeping long so I didn't question her words and we actually did **** the same morning...
After the drugs wore off she was a mess - crying and silent, so I knew what had happened but didn't confront her until she confessed to me.

So there it is - because of the drugs she had sex with someone else and she denied it while still being high and acted very hurtful. Currently I am a wreck and I have no idea what to do next. I can't accept the possibility of us splitting up but I have no idea what to do to fix this.

Note that I don't treat the thing she did as cheating - she says it was all drug induced and I do believe her because I saw how she acted while she still was high and she wasn't herself. I do not know if she wasn't on something alike roofies which could make her easily influenced. Maybe I am treating it badly, but the fact that it was some random guy not an ongoing romance or some **** makes it more acceptable for me.

Since then she is crying all the time, feeling like a whore and trying to make me accept what happened and work it out so we can still be together.

I still love her and I do not know what to do now - I do not want to loose her but I have no idea how it will evolve in the future and how will it influence our relationship.

As for the all the "technical issues", she went for a full check up for STDs and took a morning after pill, so that should not be a problem...

Of course I am blaming myself for drinking too much or even for suggesting the trip in the first place. I know I am not responsible for what she did, but it still ****s with my brain...

To make it a little more ****ed up, she left one of her cell phones in the guys room, so she had to give them an address to send it back. I forced her to give her Mom's, cause the **** they are not getting hers.

polltag!

Crappy pole.