I always play female, go int then cha (until I can max leadership to 10)...and exchange all qualis gems for the elixier....
It makes for very challenging fights, where you try to be as helpful as possible, and the first time you can start using better weapons...it's like a dream!
It's really good training as a player.
It's less about powerplay, it's just that I hate grinding for denars (because of low leadership) when I start building armies, and not having enough inv mngment to have enough food. And yes, I hate relying on my "vassals" as well, so I usually wage a 2-front war (me and my marshall's duck train).
Engineer less than 10 is also hugely annoying, considering the ridiculous game mechanics about tower sieging.
In truth, all high int and skills and leadership only start working until mid-game, when I actually start building an army and get my 1st fief.
The most painful thing is just missing out on tournaments until you can get decent Power Strike (to make a win actually possible).
Oh, and of 3 playthroughs...I married only once (Leth)...it seems I could never decide which of the scumbugs gets to marry my story heroine hahaha.
I have my fun though...