The Intergalactic Space Command
iSC
The Intergalactic Space Command is a North American based Army that is focused on having fun, creating sporadic line battles and to provide a presence on the battlefield the likes of which have never been seen before. Unless you are from the future. Then yeah, you've seen this plenty of times.
The ISC is a coalition of regiments that have decided that in order to have the most maximized amount of fun, we should pool our resources together, and embrace the outcome, whatever it may be.
In Operation Crop Circle, we will be pushing the boundaries of human, hybrid and alien capacities to the limit, by presenting exotic new formations and maneuvers, the likes your planet has not seen at least until 2,036.5 years from now. Should you be privileged enough to witness them in action. Please do not disclose these highly time-sensitive maneuvers to your grandchildren. I'm totally serious. Just don't do it.
History
The 00th Intergalactic Space Regiment is deeply rooted in galactic history as the most stalwart guardians of the Star Crown, defenders of countless space princess's honor and slayers of multiple amorphous Galaxy Gas Monsters, SNordwal SNrodsNorts and the dreaded Dutch.
Founded in the year of our Lord 4015AE by Overlord Thundersnow, known slayer of stampeding Bauerhorses and savior of Slucey Powergrip the Forgotten. The 00th Intergalactic Space Regiment was created and headquartered in Xuv Mountain on the fifth moon of Salsbury, aptly named “The Fifth Moon of Salsbury” in the Truckle Quadrant.
Tasked with guarding the Sacred Quintessence of Salsbury for all eternity, the 00th have proven time and again to be more than adequate defenders of the aforementioned object to which they were appointed to guard, of which was just mentioned to have been mentioned.
In a melon-heavy zero-plus gravity environment, the 00th practiced countless hours honing their fierce melee skills, soporific staring contests and witty repartee with great abandon. Members of the 00th are known galaxy wide as unequaled in their following of the Tact, honorable intentions towards beautiful young women, and a fondness for steamed dumplings with a side of tangy soy sauce.
In the year of our Lord 4025 AE, while patrolling the outer rim of Slammy Vux, Overlord Thundersnow and a large contingent of his personal guard entered unknowingly into a cloud of Ut, infecting everyone aboard the space slider with acute Space Madness. Veering wildly off course while massacring each other with lazer spice tongs and reciting Salsbury showtunes, the USS Ubiquitous fell into a randomized blackmatter re-dimensionalizer, which, as should be obvious by now to anyone reading, spit them out into this current reality. Coasting into this planet's gravitational field, the Ubiquitous went into a 4,000mph deadfall and eventually crashed into the ocean. It was really, really hot so there was a lot of steam. It was like “PSSssSSSssSST” with water shooting everywhere. It was pretty cool. One of those things where you kinda had to be there. What? Stop looking at me like that.
Those of the 00th who steamily emerged from the submerged wreckage and dragged their way onto the beach with their tattered seacapes and emergency steamed dumpling pouches were truly the best of the best, the creme de la crème, or as is known in your dimensions reality , “not bad”.
Killing time until they can reach their sunken story hook, the USS Ubiquitous, our valorous 00th regiment is content to practice their beliefs and wield their might whilst confined alongside these planet-locked primitives, recruiting the strongest and funniest among them to help them carry out their crusade of Freedom, Justice, and the eventual muting of mic hogs throughout the universe.
The 41st, lead by Lord Spearing, has ruled their territory with an iron fist for close to a thirty years. Overlooking their surroundings from atop Sheepwatch Tower, with the Zark Mountains as their backdrop, they practice their sharpshooting with razor-like efficiency on the local wolf population and protect their sheep herds from near and afar.
The 41st was originally sent through the dense mountain pass to flank an enemy position and secure a foothold in the coastline region, but upon seeing the vast stampeding herds of wild sheep rampaging over the rolling hills, the 41st knew they could never go back. Triggering a avalanche in the rocky pass, and sending the non-sheep loving members of the regiment [size=1pt](there were many, oddly) back to tell the high command that they were all destroyed, the Welshmen set up a minor fiefdom hidden in the mountain enclave surrounded by their beloved wool companions and frothy vodka for decades to come.
Utilizing the large boulders and fallen rocks along the rim of their small domain, and concocting a concrete mixture comprising of sand from the nearby beach, blood of nearby seagulls and excessive amounts of sheep saliva, they created Sheepwatch Tower and settled in to enjoy the fruits of their labor. And the sheep.
Sheepwatch Castle
After 00th Planet Fall, when the last surviving members of the 00th emerged from the shark infested waters onto the beaches, they were greeted by the 41st Regiment of Foot. Lead by Lord Spearing, the 41st were the first to the scene, helping the 00th by dragging them off the beach, mending their shark bites and introducing them to their sheep, whom they had come to name, and dress in the finest fabrics and garments.
After a potentially dangerous situation was defused, involving a large 00th member picking up a sheep and taking a gigantic bite out of it as if it were a rice crisp, things calmed down, and Thundersnow presented Lord Spearing a plasma disruptor rifle as a gift. Unfortunately unaware of its gravity-cannon thought-attachment, the rifle kicked in Spearing's hand and the ensuing shockwave blasted Sheepwatch tower apart and cleared the mountain pass of rubble, revealing the skeletons of the messengers sent back to tell of their demise, who unfortunately were never given the command directly by Spearing, and having been stout veterans, stood in formation until the avalanche decades ago, they're upright remains still in a hauntingly straight line.
After much chortling and guffawing by the 00th, Lord Spearing offered Thundersnow an alliance, an alliance of historical proportions! It was an alliance to end all alliances, and was referred henceforth as "The Alliance". The pact was sealed on the sacred rubber parchment agreement sheet in sheep saliva and plasma excrement. That night there was a giant feast of grilled lamb and hearty mead drunk in vast quantities by both 00th and 41st alike amongst the rubble and ruins of Sheepwatch Tower. The firepits lit the valley with hundreds of dancing and rejoicing shadows, overjoyed in anticipation of the coming conquest of the planet. The 41st gave the 00th its hand in friendship and shared their line tactics, belongings, food and drink with them that night in celebration of the alliance.
The 00th repaid that kindness and friendship that evening after all were asleep by secretly injecting their hosts in the neck with giant rusty hypodermic needles containing a bio-plasma nerve-fusion goulash that sent the 41st into a two year coma as their bodies turned inside out and formed a bloody, fleshy cocoon. After the incubation process finalized, the newly formed 41st punched through their crusty self-imposed prisons as slightly stronger versions of themselves, and ready to conquer the planet alongside their new-found brothers, who decided not to stick around for two years and started without them quite some time ago. Carrying as many sheep as they could over their shoulders and around their necks, they re-dubbed themselves the 41st Intergalactic Zero-G Combat Regiment. Lord Spearing led his fellow Battle Brothers out through the pass and into the bright new world towards its new found destiny.
Meanwhile, two years prior, the 00th left Sheepwatch Valley and embarked on a rein of trepidation, causing wide-spread consternation and in many cases, deep rooted feelings of the 'creeps' across the realm, utilizing the "Thunder V" formation to great effect and confusion. Entire towns were burned to the ground, cattle rustled, the scorched earth was salted, peppered, and seasoned. There was a general "wtf'ing" by the remaining populous left alive in their wake.
http://youtu.be/wjA1MTdGg6s
The Lords of the land sent their best to no avil, but they held one last secret weapon, the 8th Kings Regiment of Foot. Lead by their fearless leader, Jorge, The 8th Kings Regiment is well known throughout the military community as hardened veterans, its line-crumbling volleys, and strict sense of iron fisted, draconian line drills, to the point of blood emerging from the skin pours of the unworthy, as it tries to escape the vessel that is causing it such agony.
However, Jorge was a prudent and diplomatic man as well, and so the Lords of the land sent him in hopes that a meaningful discussion would at least placate the raging 00th long enough to muster more forces. Traveling through the snowy landscape for weeks, the 8th finally came upon the 00th at Strategic Point, the highest hill in a ten mile radius. Both regiments circled the two leaders at the crest of the hill, as they shook hands and sat to discuss the current situation.
Jorge pointed out that the Lords of the realm would eventually crush the 00th under its massive weight, and that there was no point in continuing on without coming to a diplomatic solution. Thundersnow then presented Jorge with a set of Lazer Tongs. Jorge pointed out that while the 00th were unstoppable at the moment, surely the fallen could not be replaced and that each man was so integral to the overall campaign that soon the 00th would be whittled down to nothing. Thundersnow then presented Jorge with a demonstration of a six rank deep ripple Puckle formation. Jorge pointed out that while impressive, fancy formations and Lazer Tongs do not a regiment make. Thundersnow then presented Jorge to a startling fly-by demonstration of hover bikes in broken-wing formation as they screamed about the plains, dropping gravity grenades on targets from half a mile up. Jorge sighed, knew his way of life would never again be the same, shook Thundersnow's hand and on that day cemented an alliance with the 00th.
Thinking it would be better to ask this time, Thundersnow explained to Jorge the process of the injections given to the unwary 41st, and how it would slightly benefit the 8th's men, making them a little bit stronger, but at the cost of two years of their lives trapped helpless in a cocoon, and sacrificing precious time while the 00th would continue to roam the countryside. Jorge and his men, mouths agape in horror, thought about it for three seconds and decided against it, commenting that it would be wise to instead focus this time to combine forces and strike as one against the Lords of the land. Thundersnow agreed, and that night the firepits lit the landscape with dancing shadows of celebration, revelry and rejoicing. The 00th and the 8th shared wine, feasted heartily on smoked pigs on a spit and explained tactics together, and vowed friendship and allegiance on a contract made of sacred rubber parchment.
Later that night, while they slept, the 00th repaid that kindness and friendship to the 8th by secretly injecting each of them in the neck with giant rusty hypodermic needles containing a bio-plasma nerve-fusion goulash that sent the 8th into a two year coma as their bodies turned inside out and formed a bloody, fleshy cocoon. After the incubation process finalized, the newly formed 8th punched through their crusty self-imposed prisons as slightly stronger versions of themselves, and ready to conquer the planet alongside their new-found brothers, who decided not to stick around for two years and started without them quite some time ago.
As months rolled on, the 00th one day happened upon a battle. The 89th of Northern Europe were engaged in an overwhelming destruction of a small detachment of French skirmishers surrounded and trapped with their backs to a canyon wall. Witnessing the complete lopsidedness of the slaughter, Thundersnow felt a new sensation welling in his chest, one of compassion. It was an unusual feeling to have, and so to crush it completely he ordered the 00th to join the 89th in annihilating the remaining paltry French forces.
The leader of the Scandinavian regiment, MadViking, was appalled at this lack of honor and gamemanship. Members of the 89th repeatedly screamed at the 00th "Go away", "We got this, thanks anyway" and "Dudes, really?". After the last shot was fired, and the 00th finished dancing around the dead in a macabre ritual they called "The Reckoning", MadViking met Thudnersnow on the battlefield amidst the smoke, blood and corpses.
MadViking explained to Thundersnow that they were a British regiment, comprised of proud warriors hailing from the northern Scandinavia, such as Norway, Sweden and Denmark. He regaled the 00th with tales of epic battles it had fought against the French and the many glorious victories it secured over the years.
"Over there" he pointed towards a distant hill on the horizon "is where me and my men first got our taste of battle, on Cabbage Roll Hill" "And over yonder" he pointed to the Sickly Swamps of Sucky "there is where I lost half a company to malaria while chasing down our foes." "And who can forget the Battle of Battles, fought here on this very ground not ten years prior" he motioned to the blood soaked ground "Ah yes, we have a proud heritage and our hard work and valor is clearly evident by simply taking in the scenery around you."
Thundersnow marveled at MadVikings accomplishments and knowledge of history of the surrounding areas, and knew deep in his heart that the 89th would never join them, or even entertain the idea. Thundersnow thanked MadViking for his insight and marvelous stories, and bid him and the 89th farewell as they marched on into the sunset.
After sunset, they snuck back into the 89th camp and secretly injected each of them in the neck with giant rusty hypodermic needles containing a bio-plasma nerve-fusion goulash that sent the 89th into a two year coma as their bodies turned inside out and formed a bloody, fleshy cocoon. After the incubation process finalized, the newly formed 89th punched through their crusty self-imposed prisons as slightly stronger versions of themselves, and ready to conquer the planet alongside their new-found brothers, who decided not to stick around for two years and started without them quite some time ago.
Now, two years and a few months later, all the regiments have converged together to form a giant army, an army to conquer this planet, an army to inspire and awe, and army that promises no new taxes and a free flask of mead to every man woman and child in its conquered territories!
Huzza! Huzza! Huzza![/size]
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The rules within the Intergalactic Space Command are based on the rule set I created for in the 00th Regimental Charter as posted here:
http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,199430.0.html
Fun is demanded of all members. If a smile is not on your face for a period longer than 5 minutes, drastic measures will be taken to ensure a permanent solution. This may or may not include screws and wire.
We have sporadic line battles within the army at a moments notice, depending on whom is on and if anyone feels like it. If you and your Army would like to schedule a sporadic line battle with us, please contact me or one of the regimental leaders to discuss the who/what/where/when/why/how's.
http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,199430.0.html
Fun is demanded of all members. If a smile is not on your face for a period longer than 5 minutes, drastic measures will be taken to ensure a permanent solution. This may or may not include screws and wire.
We have sporadic line battles within the army at a moments notice, depending on whom is on and if anyone feels like it. If you and your Army would like to schedule a sporadic line battle with us, please contact me or one of the regimental leaders to discuss the who/what/where/when/why/how's.
Regiment List
In numerical order
00th Intergalactic Space Regiment
Recruitment Thread: http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,199430.0.html
Official Site: www.OnlyBadNews.com
8th Kings Regiment of Foot
Regiment Thread: http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,198275.msg4759740.html#msg4759740
41st Intergalactic Zero-G Combat Regiment
Regiment Thread: http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php/topic,173869.msg4180158.html#msg4180158
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FORMATIONS
Thunderbolt Formation
Quad Rank Formation
Thunderbolt Formation
Thunder V Formation
Thudner V Formation
Quad Rank Formation
Thunderbolt Formation
Thunder V Formation
Thudner V Formation
Obviously, Top Secret formations from Operation Crop Circle cannot be shown until unveiled on the battlefield. Such as "Puckle Formation", the 41st's "Stinger Formation", "Microphone Time Hogs Please Report To The Front Of The Line And Fix Bayonets Formation" and of course, the "As Yet To Be Named Formation".
Joining the Intergalactic Space Command
As it stands now, we are very pleased with the excellent regiments we have in place. We are currently not looking for more regiments.
If you are interested in joining the ISC, your name will be put on a waiting list and entry into the army will be a very snooty process, hopefully involving stuck-up cheerleaders, stuffy old people sitting in chairs puffing on cigars and blurting out "I say!" and "Oh dear me" in fake English accents whilst drinking of tea with extended pinky fingers, while standing motionless on one leg atop a high tree stump as the regimental leaders through empty cans of mead at you as you sing the glorious Fifth of Salsbury Battlehymn.
This is a collection of the best regiments in the game as far as I'm concerned. Entry will be tedious, arduous and most of all, a complete disappointment if you do get in due to all of the time, effort and super-hype that went into portraying the iSC. But that's between us.
Currently the only way into the iSC to to join one of the regiments within the Army.
-Thundersnow
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