Hi OP - I do agree with you somehow - the game is in a very weird state right now- HOWEVER it is clearly "buy it as is" since it's Early Access.
My best suggestion is just... wait until version 1.0 comes out
you probably like the game enough to wait for it and be happy with the final product.
Other than that, you could wait in-between updates - I am myself (anxiously) waiting for the next one right now because the latest updates (beta and stable) are mostly unplayable for me.
While you wait, you could even submit bugs and send crash reports via the in-application tools that TaleWorlds built in; that would help all your fellow MB friends. Plus, TaleWorlds is not a AAA huge dev, I'm 100% sure they appreciate all our efforts as "cheap" Q&A testers
OR... go through with the Steam refund request - even though you have +40h, it is
possible that Valve will review your request and refund you for it (explain it, wholeheartedly, that you really tried to play but at this point it's just too frustrating, you weren't expecting so many bugs/crashes, etc.)
From my experience (though I do have a BIG account on Steam) they will take mitigating factors in consideration for a refund, even if you are past the 2 weeks/x hours played "no questions asked" refund policy. After all, Valve/Steam brand is on the line and they do have a very "Customer First" approach.
Just keep in mind (goes for everyone here in this thread) - there's always REAL PEOPLE behind the TW forums, behind the Steam refund request...
So, be kind will y'all? it's something you can give for free without sacrifice and I'm sure whoever will take your requests/complaints will be at least glad for some kindness (specially at shi**y times like these)