I have little interest in playing a game where defeating the opponent over and over means absolutely nothing, because they continue to come back again with fresh troops recruited out of thin air.
If the wars were at least limited so not everyone is fighting multiple wars all the time, and SOME kingdoms were actually at peace for 30-50% of the time, it might be a good balance. If you want to fight constantly, either hire out as a mercenary, join one of the more aggressive factions, or take on bandits between wars. If you want more kingdom management and politics, join one of the less aggressive factions. You CAN have both options in this game, if it's designed to provide a few meaningful differences between factions.
The ability to recruit from a village should be limited, with the owner having almost unlimited ability to recruit (if it runs out of peasants, it's your own fault), faction members and those friendly to the village having reduced access (practically nil below some minimum population figure, increasing as the population grows), and neutral parties having extremely limited ability to recruit, and only if the village has excess population above some minimum. Enemies should NOT be allowed to recruit; would you give weapons to a forcibly conscripted enemy and then expect them to support you in combat? Expect a stab in the back instead.
The idea is that if there are too many wars, army sizes begin to shrink until lords can't gather a large enough field army to take another castle or town (sieges should be painfully expensive in both manpower and supplies for the attacker), in which case there's no point in continuing the war for the aggressor. The AI needs to end wars when (or before) it becomes pointless. Population growth rates need to create enough excess population to recruit in order to start another war in 3-6 months or so. 6-12 months of war, followed by 3-6 months of peace, depending on casualties and the aggressiveness of the faction. This is not the late middle ages, where you have 15-100 year wars, it should be a series of raids and brief campaigns for a single season, then return home to plant or harvest.