About those problems, as I think I have shared my thoughts before, here's my thoughts: For parties, you are correct, reducing the travelling parties will reducce lag, peasants are first to 'go'. About caravans, I really like their number, because they help economy move and that way, not every twon the player goes is stagnating in poverty. But we can compromise by reducing the bandit parties, making them less in number, but with more troops in each, to compensate.
About the sea crossing bug, I had it too, in one of my mods(Fires of War) and all I did was adding fjord textures in some water areas, making the crossable. In those, we can add a script to change the map icon from horseman to ship, to improve realism, but be warned, it will increase lag. Of course, we can leave the icon as it is.
The shield thing of the lords is a mistake I did in the Sword and the Axe, I forgot to change their stats.
It is easy to cahnge, just a number as you mention, although a time consuming thing, especially in Europe 1200, where there are countless lords. I may need some help in that one, as doing them all by myself will take well, maybe years.
About your tweaks, I said that before, but you are a master to them, Subitai. Some of the are masterpieces and I have yet to figure out how to translate into module files. Some are obvious, but given the nature of the text files, which I admit I haven't fully understood yet, unlike the source code, some elude me. I do hop you will help me on that, too.
Now, about the suggestions:
1) I seem to recall having seen such a code somewhere, about bribing lords, I will add it as soon as I am done with the basic stuff.
2) Yes, women are a bit insignificant in Warband, in the sense that marrying them doesn't actually do anything, besides increasing some relations here and there and giving the player some unique quests(like the feast or sth). I have some things in mind, but I want to test first, not give false hopes. To make them accessible in feasts I will have to research, though, as I suspect this is a Native thing, not Europe 1200 one.
3) The tournament dedications will change at some point, I plan to make the player give the 'crown of beauty' to the woman he desires. Currently, I managed that only with dialogues, but having such an item in inventory after you win a tournament and then handing it over or keeping it is better, right?
That was all, also, in the latest module system files, there are some new lords, towns and castles that are nameless. So, when I compile without errors, I would need the mod's great researchers to provide those names. From what I've seen, those are a couple of Lithuanian lords and towns and some balkan ones. Once I have the map ready for a pic, I will share it with you.