What would you do if...

[Icey Fresh Werewolf]

Alright, I just thought up something here. It's basically where you ask "What would you do if X" then someone will reply "I would X" then they ask a question, so on and so forth.

Example 1: What would you do if a man walked up to you and pulled down his underwear and pants?
Example 2: I would shoot him in the groin.

Funny answers would be appreciated.

Now...

What would you do if you found a large pig in your backyard?

 

[Cookie Eating Huskarl]

I will record myself beheading the pig and I'll bath myself with its entrails while ritualistic chants go on in the background. Then I'll send the video to PETA.

What would you do, if your University professor married your mum?

 

[Tibertus]

Request the school give me an A for the class due to conflict of interest between the professor and myself and because it's too late to transfer to another class.

What would you do if I showed up at your front door, wearing nothing but a golden manthong?

 

[Regendur]

Shut the door.

What would you do if You found yourself locked in a trunk?

 

[Tibertus]

Masturbate.

What would you do if I just broke down the door and proceeded to rape you anyways?

 

[Regendur]

Shotgun.

It's thar for a reason.

What would ye do if you had a shotgun-pelleted ****?

 

[FrisianDude]

Bleed. What would you do if a hopped up midget chimpanzee in an 18-wheeler was trying to run you over?

 

[vadermath]

There is nothing I can do, I'm afraid.

What would you do if I came all over you face?

 

[Vovolov]

Giggle like a little girl.

What would you do if I did that?

 

[tintontoe]

Scream.

What would you do if ye' would get attacked by a butt goblin? D:

 

[Icey Fresh Werewolf]

I would try to securely armor my penis and my buttocks so that the butt goblin cannot reach my private parts.

What would you do if a man with gigantism started streaking in front of your house?

 

[FrisianDude]

Take pictures.

What would you do if a politican 'd start peeing into your letterbox?

 

[Almalexia]

Curse his betrayal of the people.

What would you do, sir, if you were locked in a tower with a baby?

 

[tumph]

Eat it.

What would you do if you were attacked by a bed?

 

[FrisianDude]

Eat it.

What would you do if someone 'd try to axe-murder you.

 

[Regendur]

Eat it.

What if you tried to eat it?

 

[Chechen!]

First put some garlic sauce on it.

How would you fap without hands?

 

[Tibertus]

My mouth.

Can you autofelate?

Edit: I are idiot and should 'ave asked the question "what would you do if you could autofelate?"

 

[Icey Fresh Werewolf]

I looked it up on wikipedia. Oh god. No, I cannot.

What would you do if you opened the door and you saw a naked black man autofellating directly in front of your door?

 

[Elenmmare]

He'd be in the perfect shape to gloriously punt into my neighbour's skylight.

What would you do if the forum just disappeared?