The Neveyansk Castle villages, seems to be haveing some issues, and or it could be a design choice.
Read in my play I also got it.
And alot of the time there isnt any recruits, however then it started to be some.
In a new fresh play, since yesterdays patch, there is recruits there.(now).
However what I noticed as the owner and with the lack of recruits and they showing up over time - was that the villages was very very low population, with 55 and 80 respectively.
as I did some quest, the bring tools and it popped over 200 - there was recruits "as normal".
I'm wondering if villages have a lower threshold so to speak, again this could be just a false positive and or failed observation(call it what you want) but it made me speculate.
Again in todays new play, there is plenty of recruits there(and the villages havent been looted much).
As for the lack of autorecruit, I could be mistaken, but if you have low income overall, and also not much money on your character, dont it also "cut you out from doing autorecruit" aswell?
With a message if you move your mouse over it "due to wage limit" or something along those lines.
Try opening up your save if you could op, and see if there is such a message perhaps?
As for the other thing you describe where there was 40 garrison and 220 milita - this is most likely working as intended.
When a town/castle have low(below 25) loyalty and are on the verge of revolting - when besieged and below 25 loyalty the garrison is the only faceing you, and not the milita (the milita is planning revolution against their oppressing lords)(castles dont rebel, but towns do).
Since Vlandia have -loyalty based on owner culture, and add in if a village have been looted etc and thats very likely why they have low loyalty.
Check it out if you have an earlier save, as you can still inspect such stats in the encyclopedia