You can't pick up bolts if you do not have a crossbow, (or arrows if you don't have a bow). I am equipped w/ javelins when they run out I pick up a crossbow. I usually will find a hunting or maiden crossbow so I pick that up so I can accumulate bolts until I see a siege xbow.
Don't hold the city, you should be able to take 3 castles/cities to their one, slip in one that needs a siege tower when they start somewhere across the map. Capture their Lords in the open to reduce their ranks and get the, to make peace with you.
It seems that they are travelling for a little while to catch up to your group. I get the message from the companion mission report that "Boadice will be joining your group soon" or something. That message seems to last a 2-3 days sometimes.
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