If you play on normal I salute you, I play on 149% difficulty and yea even with two hundred elites soldiers I have hard time to beat 500-700 armies of theirs alone.. and I have 10 in Surgery, 10 in tactics and I take usually 40 down myself before I run into a corner with my 1% health.
So your still without any lord at all ? Cause I usually have at least 1-3 lords after I have taken over a half a kingdom. By then I try to make peace cause my troops are most dead and bandits plague all my towns and villages too much.
Is your right to rule over 70 ? Also your right to rule isn't that important. I've had 15 when a nation contacted me to ask me for peace.