mikkel the great
Foreword... Before you start reading this tale there is a few things you all should know...
First; in case its any surprise, yes, this is fiction. Nonsencical things happen.
Second; The story is based off a chat I had with Lcatt, and sorta with Beaver and Admiral too. One thing took the other, and I decided to brew up a small story. While some of you might find it entertaining, the majority of the fun will certainly be had by the people who do know what this certain chat was about.
Now! That is it for now! Time to reveal the story!
Side note, report any typos, there's plenty I think, most was written in the middle of the, well, I guess it was morning. Ohh yeah, it was written in Word, so the text might be a big lacking of, 'fancyness'.
First; in case its any surprise, yes, this is fiction. Nonsencical things happen.
Second; The story is based off a chat I had with Lcatt, and sorta with Beaver and Admiral too. One thing took the other, and I decided to brew up a small story. While some of you might find it entertaining, the majority of the fun will certainly be had by the people who do know what this certain chat was about.
Now! That is it for now! Time to reveal the story!
The argument started at its usual time, just about the time when Mikkel came back home to Lcatt again...
“WHO WAS THAT MAN!?” Mikkel shouted, in a stiff tone, pointing his finger towards Lcatt
“WHO?! YOU KNOW I HAVE NO ONE ELSE!” she replied, her voice not quite as tough as she wanted it to be, and with a slight undertone of shame. Mikkel managed to hear the shame in her voice
“You are lying to me again... You know I hate liars...” he said, in a chilly, but frightenly calm manner
“I didn’t mean to do it!.. He... His lips assaulted me! All the sudden, he was just ‘there’! I’m so sorry...” Her voice disappeared in a sea of tears.
Mikkel’s voice did not flinch for a second when he shouted with the force of an entire city
“WHOOOOO?! WHO DID THIS?! TELL ME! NOW!” his eyes were filled with both anger, and fear. Could it be? Could it be really be? Was it him?...
Lcatt sobbed, finding the courage to say what had to be said. “It was.. It was Winece... Winecenzo.” she broke into tears again. Hiding her tear shed face in her hands. “They..They call him Wince in the city...”
Him.. It was HIM
“He... he will pay for this!”
With eyes filled with anger, he pulled down his grandfather’s sword from the wall. An old Islamic influenced sabre, with a beautifully decorated grip. He attached it firmly to his belt. When he turned around to face the door, Lcatt was blocking his way.
“Move, I will handle him myself!”
“No, you will need all the help you can get! Think! You don’t even know the way!”
He knew she was right. He had to chance to achieve this on his own, even with help his chances were slim.
“Sigh, fine, you are coming too.”
As soon as the two had left the house, Lcatt was walking, almost running, in front. Eagerly pulling Mikkel through kilometre after kilometre of thick forest. It took 3 hours, but then, suddenly, Lcatt stopped.
“There” she whispered “There is his cave!” Mikkel stopped with a heart, threatening to blow through his chest. In front of the large cave opening, was a man, no! A giant beaver! He was roughly 2,5 meters tall with brown fur, wearing a top hat, a bit too small for his large head, and a monocle carefully put in his right eye sitting at a small coffee table set on a way too small chair while he was carefully reading what appeared to be a newspaper. Despite his rather cute looks, it was clear that this beast certainly could both kill a man, and then afterwards read a bedtime story for the kids without being affected the slightest.
Even though, he was scared to death he took a few steps towards the giant beaver.
“Uh hum..” The giant beaver slowly closed his paper and put it down on the tiny coffee table and turned around. His ears turning like small radar dishes to face this stranger.
“AHA! Guests!” he said in a heavy British accent. It was clear he didn’t have a lot of visitors, as he was almost bursting with joy “Come over ‘ere and relax, I won’t bite!” he said, smiling so his large set of teeth was clearly visible. Not only were the teeth huge, but beavers usually don’t have sharp teeth do they?...
Reluctantly, both Lcatt and Mikkel stepped towards the beavers table where he had a tea pot and a small cup.
“Please! Be seated!” and made a hand gesture towards two chairs standing up against a tree nearby. “Tea or coffee?” He asked,
“Tea!” Mikkel said quickly thinking that it might just be for the best to play along.
“Uhhm, coffee.” Lcatt replied. The giant beaver stopped dead in his tracks, “ ’Cuse me, what did you say?..” “I..I said tea!” lcatt corrected. “Ahh, marvellous!” within no time at all, there were 3 cups of fresh tea standing on the small table.
“So... Allow me to introduce myself..” the beaver said “ I am the first guardian of Winece’s cave. My name is Magnus, but everyone calls me Beaver of some reason..” the beaver appeared to be thinking about that for a moment and then said “You may call me beaver too. But ohh! Where are my manners! Who are the two of you, and what are you doing all the way out here?”
Lcatt and Mikkel quickly explained the situation to ‘Beaver’. Who nodded his head a few times when the story was over.
“Well, your story touched me, but! Why should I let you pass, hmm? Whats in it for me?” he said, slowly brushing his whiskers.
“Whatever you desire! Mention it, and we shall give it to you!” Mikkel said.
“Well well well then.. There is something I crave... While I am a magician, I am.. hmm, not skilled enough to conjure many things. One of them, is food. Being stuck out here all alone makes you hungry, and there’s nothing but trees out here!” he points out towards the forest, and its easy to see hes been here for some time. Several trees lie down, partly devoured. “So, if you can bring me something tasty for meself, I shall let you through. Deal?”
Lcatt who were –judging from her look- fearing the worst, lightened up and said.
“I have something! Give me a second!” She quickly reached down into her pocket, and found a large pack of Belgium chocolate. “here, take this!”
Beaver licked his lips in anticipation, and took the box of chocolate “You may pass.” He said with the straightest face possible. It was clear that the only thing keeping him from devouring the entire box this very moment was tact. “Before you leave” he said “I must warn you, there are two other guardians within the cave, guarding the gateway to his cave. Good luck, you two!” Mikkel nodded and started to walk into the cave. Of some reason, even though the light never made it into the cave itself the cave was still lit. Dimly, but lit. No light sources kept the floors and walls visible. It just, was lit. Lcatt gave her partner a frightened look, but continued into the huge cave.
Not long after, they could hear something. It did not sound like anything they had heard before, This must be the second guardian Mikkel thought. And he was right. As they got closer, they could hear some shouting in a foreign language... “Де моя горілка? Олаф чи вкрасти це знову? “ As they got closer, they could see a man dressed in a eastern European pike man armour, with a German stylished black morion on top of his head. At his left leg, was an old sword, Roman looking in appearance. And in his right hand, he was holding a huge pike. Awestruck, they both looked at this man, and reckoned he’d be at least 2 metres tall! The two exchanged looks, and Mikkel took a few steps towards this massive man. “Uhm, excuse me?” “What?! Курва! INTRUDERS!!” He screamed, quickly grabbing his halberd with both hands and charges towards him with the tip of the halberd fixed on Mikkel’s chest. “NO! WAIT! BEAVER SENT US!” he screamed! Paralyzed by fear, the halberd came close... and closer.. and then.. Stopped. “Hmmpf.. Bever.. Where do you two know him from, hmm?!” First now they realised it, the accent.. he is Ukrainian! “ANSVER ME!”
“H-he let us in. We have business with Winece!”
“Is that so..? Ohh well then. My name is Vladimir!” he took a deep bow “Vladimir, but to most, Admiral. You see... In my youth...” he began a long story about him sailing the world and the 7 seas. Seeing all of the world. But one day, he met a woman. “The most beautiful woman in the world I tell you! None was prettier than her! I ran away from my old wife, home in Ukraine to be with this new woman! Alas, she tricked me! She was no woman, but a succubus! A demon, luring men into decay...” ‘Admiral’ shook his head in shame. “She took everything I had, my ship, my money. Everything! All I had left was a bottle, of my wifes home brewed whiskey. We had a brewery together... And now I bet that bastard took it!” he smashed his hand into the wall, with the strength of a bull. “ Can.. Can you help me with something?” Still shocked over the giants anger, they both nodded quietly “Good. See, I think the next guard stole my dear bottle of Whiskey. If you promise to look for it, I shall let you pass. Hm?”
They both promised that they would look for it. The big man drew a *sigh* of relief. “Thank you. His name, is Nico. Nico Kamps. We call him Olafson. Find him, he can let you through to Winece! But remember my whiskey!”
Both Lcatt and Mikkel nodded swiftly and walked, fast, towards the next guardian. The last of the 3.
Behind them they could hear a voice shouting “careful! There’s a dog on the other side too!...” A dog? Afraid, of a dog? Bah! Mikkel had his trusty sword, and lady luck had been with them so far.
After a few minutes of walking in complete silence, a voice and a whip flying through the air *swip!* could be heard, echoing through the tunnels..
“Los, los, los! Links! Rechts! Links! Rechts! Kooompaniie.. HALT!”
As they came closer, the sound of boots hitting the ground could be heard. All marching in tact. But, the sound was different... As if it was many small soldiers marching?...
They slowly sneak closer, till they are behind a rock, and then peek forward. What they saw, was a once in a lifetime sight...
In front of them, were a man of average height, wearing a black and golden Pickelhaube standing with a luger in his belt and a whip in his right hand. But that was not the strangest. In front of him, were thousands of tiny tiny soldiers dressed in grey, marching on his command. Swip. The whip was swung again “LOS! Fashter!”
It appeared that they were all marching in a circle around him, and when the column was right in front of them, he turned around to face his marching minions. This man, only had one eye. Covering his right eye was an eyepatch. “Wat ze.. Who are you?! WHO I ASK?!” the man had spotted Lcatt and Mikkel behind the rock and was now walking towards them with an incredible speed., the whip folded out, ready to be swung...
“I-I I am Mikkel” he finally managed to choke out, Lcatt standing behind him. “We have business with Winece. ‘Beaver’ and ‘Admiral’ have let us pass already!” His words did seem to calm him down a bit “Ar-are you the man the call Olafson?..”
“Yes, but call me olaf” he sighed. “Now.. I am ze final guardian, sooo you vil have to fully tell mi was your intentions is wit’ Winece.”
Lcatt and Mikkel decided that it would be for the best just to tell him how things were. “well..” lcatt started, and quickly put Olafson into why they were here. Olaf stood fully still, looking at them. For a second they both thought he was gonna put his little army to work. Then he said..
“Listen up now, I really shouldn’t just let you two walk through here, but if you are willing to do me a favour..” here we go again... “I need my grandfathers gun. I lost it inside Winece’s home one day I was chasing snakes around. I fear it might have gotten into my dogs pen, but... Well... hes not exactly that found of people you zee... I have this sausage, might come in handy with Mr Biggesworth. Zat is his name, the dog. Is that a deal, or will I have to tell my army that you are not wanted here?..”
“No sir, we will get right on it!” Lcatt replied. “Good, now get on with it! I don’t have all day!” Olaf goes to a rock sticking out of the wall surface and pushed it down. All the sudden, a sound similar to the one of ripping paper could be heard throughout the entire cave. Olaf’s small ‘toysoldiers’ all grabbed their ears to keep out the noise. From the rocky surface behind Olafson, a hole in the wall appears. A gaint gateway not visible if you didn’t know it was there, opened from the insides of the wall.
“Way is open, now scram! Before I change my mind!”
“WHO WAS THAT MAN!?” Mikkel shouted, in a stiff tone, pointing his finger towards Lcatt
“WHO?! YOU KNOW I HAVE NO ONE ELSE!” she replied, her voice not quite as tough as she wanted it to be, and with a slight undertone of shame. Mikkel managed to hear the shame in her voice
“You are lying to me again... You know I hate liars...” he said, in a chilly, but frightenly calm manner
“I didn’t mean to do it!.. He... His lips assaulted me! All the sudden, he was just ‘there’! I’m so sorry...” Her voice disappeared in a sea of tears.
Mikkel’s voice did not flinch for a second when he shouted with the force of an entire city
“WHOOOOO?! WHO DID THIS?! TELL ME! NOW!” his eyes were filled with both anger, and fear. Could it be? Could it be really be? Was it him?...
Lcatt sobbed, finding the courage to say what had to be said. “It was.. It was Winece... Winecenzo.” she broke into tears again. Hiding her tear shed face in her hands. “They..They call him Wince in the city...”
Him.. It was HIM
“He... he will pay for this!”
With eyes filled with anger, he pulled down his grandfather’s sword from the wall. An old Islamic influenced sabre, with a beautifully decorated grip. He attached it firmly to his belt. When he turned around to face the door, Lcatt was blocking his way.
“Move, I will handle him myself!”
“No, you will need all the help you can get! Think! You don’t even know the way!”
He knew she was right. He had to chance to achieve this on his own, even with help his chances were slim.
“Sigh, fine, you are coming too.”
As soon as the two had left the house, Lcatt was walking, almost running, in front. Eagerly pulling Mikkel through kilometre after kilometre of thick forest. It took 3 hours, but then, suddenly, Lcatt stopped.
“There” she whispered “There is his cave!” Mikkel stopped with a heart, threatening to blow through his chest. In front of the large cave opening, was a man, no! A giant beaver! He was roughly 2,5 meters tall with brown fur, wearing a top hat, a bit too small for his large head, and a monocle carefully put in his right eye sitting at a small coffee table set on a way too small chair while he was carefully reading what appeared to be a newspaper. Despite his rather cute looks, it was clear that this beast certainly could both kill a man, and then afterwards read a bedtime story for the kids without being affected the slightest.
Even though, he was scared to death he took a few steps towards the giant beaver.
“Uh hum..” The giant beaver slowly closed his paper and put it down on the tiny coffee table and turned around. His ears turning like small radar dishes to face this stranger.
“AHA! Guests!” he said in a heavy British accent. It was clear he didn’t have a lot of visitors, as he was almost bursting with joy “Come over ‘ere and relax, I won’t bite!” he said, smiling so his large set of teeth was clearly visible. Not only were the teeth huge, but beavers usually don’t have sharp teeth do they?...
Reluctantly, both Lcatt and Mikkel stepped towards the beavers table where he had a tea pot and a small cup.
“Please! Be seated!” and made a hand gesture towards two chairs standing up against a tree nearby. “Tea or coffee?” He asked,
“Tea!” Mikkel said quickly thinking that it might just be for the best to play along.
“Uhhm, coffee.” Lcatt replied. The giant beaver stopped dead in his tracks, “ ’Cuse me, what did you say?..” “I..I said tea!” lcatt corrected. “Ahh, marvellous!” within no time at all, there were 3 cups of fresh tea standing on the small table.
“So... Allow me to introduce myself..” the beaver said “ I am the first guardian of Winece’s cave. My name is Magnus, but everyone calls me Beaver of some reason..” the beaver appeared to be thinking about that for a moment and then said “You may call me beaver too. But ohh! Where are my manners! Who are the two of you, and what are you doing all the way out here?”
Lcatt and Mikkel quickly explained the situation to ‘Beaver’. Who nodded his head a few times when the story was over.
“Well, your story touched me, but! Why should I let you pass, hmm? Whats in it for me?” he said, slowly brushing his whiskers.
“Whatever you desire! Mention it, and we shall give it to you!” Mikkel said.
“Well well well then.. There is something I crave... While I am a magician, I am.. hmm, not skilled enough to conjure many things. One of them, is food. Being stuck out here all alone makes you hungry, and there’s nothing but trees out here!” he points out towards the forest, and its easy to see hes been here for some time. Several trees lie down, partly devoured. “So, if you can bring me something tasty for meself, I shall let you through. Deal?”
Lcatt who were –judging from her look- fearing the worst, lightened up and said.
“I have something! Give me a second!” She quickly reached down into her pocket, and found a large pack of Belgium chocolate. “here, take this!”
Beaver licked his lips in anticipation, and took the box of chocolate “You may pass.” He said with the straightest face possible. It was clear that the only thing keeping him from devouring the entire box this very moment was tact. “Before you leave” he said “I must warn you, there are two other guardians within the cave, guarding the gateway to his cave. Good luck, you two!” Mikkel nodded and started to walk into the cave. Of some reason, even though the light never made it into the cave itself the cave was still lit. Dimly, but lit. No light sources kept the floors and walls visible. It just, was lit. Lcatt gave her partner a frightened look, but continued into the huge cave.
Not long after, they could hear something. It did not sound like anything they had heard before, This must be the second guardian Mikkel thought. And he was right. As they got closer, they could hear some shouting in a foreign language... “Де моя горілка? Олаф чи вкрасти це знову? “ As they got closer, they could see a man dressed in a eastern European pike man armour, with a German stylished black morion on top of his head. At his left leg, was an old sword, Roman looking in appearance. And in his right hand, he was holding a huge pike. Awestruck, they both looked at this man, and reckoned he’d be at least 2 metres tall! The two exchanged looks, and Mikkel took a few steps towards this massive man. “Uhm, excuse me?” “What?! Курва! INTRUDERS!!” He screamed, quickly grabbing his halberd with both hands and charges towards him with the tip of the halberd fixed on Mikkel’s chest. “NO! WAIT! BEAVER SENT US!” he screamed! Paralyzed by fear, the halberd came close... and closer.. and then.. Stopped. “Hmmpf.. Bever.. Where do you two know him from, hmm?!” First now they realised it, the accent.. he is Ukrainian! “ANSVER ME!”
“H-he let us in. We have business with Winece!”
“Is that so..? Ohh well then. My name is Vladimir!” he took a deep bow “Vladimir, but to most, Admiral. You see... In my youth...” he began a long story about him sailing the world and the 7 seas. Seeing all of the world. But one day, he met a woman. “The most beautiful woman in the world I tell you! None was prettier than her! I ran away from my old wife, home in Ukraine to be with this new woman! Alas, she tricked me! She was no woman, but a succubus! A demon, luring men into decay...” ‘Admiral’ shook his head in shame. “She took everything I had, my ship, my money. Everything! All I had left was a bottle, of my wifes home brewed whiskey. We had a brewery together... And now I bet that bastard took it!” he smashed his hand into the wall, with the strength of a bull. “ Can.. Can you help me with something?” Still shocked over the giants anger, they both nodded quietly “Good. See, I think the next guard stole my dear bottle of Whiskey. If you promise to look for it, I shall let you pass. Hm?”
They both promised that they would look for it. The big man drew a *sigh* of relief. “Thank you. His name, is Nico. Nico Kamps. We call him Olafson. Find him, he can let you through to Winece! But remember my whiskey!”
Both Lcatt and Mikkel nodded swiftly and walked, fast, towards the next guardian. The last of the 3.
Behind them they could hear a voice shouting “careful! There’s a dog on the other side too!...” A dog? Afraid, of a dog? Bah! Mikkel had his trusty sword, and lady luck had been with them so far.
After a few minutes of walking in complete silence, a voice and a whip flying through the air *swip!* could be heard, echoing through the tunnels..
“Los, los, los! Links! Rechts! Links! Rechts! Kooompaniie.. HALT!”
As they came closer, the sound of boots hitting the ground could be heard. All marching in tact. But, the sound was different... As if it was many small soldiers marching?...
They slowly sneak closer, till they are behind a rock, and then peek forward. What they saw, was a once in a lifetime sight...
In front of them, were a man of average height, wearing a black and golden Pickelhaube standing with a luger in his belt and a whip in his right hand. But that was not the strangest. In front of him, were thousands of tiny tiny soldiers dressed in grey, marching on his command. Swip. The whip was swung again “LOS! Fashter!”
It appeared that they were all marching in a circle around him, and when the column was right in front of them, he turned around to face his marching minions. This man, only had one eye. Covering his right eye was an eyepatch. “Wat ze.. Who are you?! WHO I ASK?!” the man had spotted Lcatt and Mikkel behind the rock and was now walking towards them with an incredible speed., the whip folded out, ready to be swung...
“I-I I am Mikkel” he finally managed to choke out, Lcatt standing behind him. “We have business with Winece. ‘Beaver’ and ‘Admiral’ have let us pass already!” His words did seem to calm him down a bit “Ar-are you the man the call Olafson?..”
“Yes, but call me olaf” he sighed. “Now.. I am ze final guardian, sooo you vil have to fully tell mi was your intentions is wit’ Winece.”
Lcatt and Mikkel decided that it would be for the best just to tell him how things were. “well..” lcatt started, and quickly put Olafson into why they were here. Olaf stood fully still, looking at them. For a second they both thought he was gonna put his little army to work. Then he said..
“Listen up now, I really shouldn’t just let you two walk through here, but if you are willing to do me a favour..” here we go again... “I need my grandfathers gun. I lost it inside Winece’s home one day I was chasing snakes around. I fear it might have gotten into my dogs pen, but... Well... hes not exactly that found of people you zee... I have this sausage, might come in handy with Mr Biggesworth. Zat is his name, the dog. Is that a deal, or will I have to tell my army that you are not wanted here?..”
“No sir, we will get right on it!” Lcatt replied. “Good, now get on with it! I don’t have all day!” Olaf goes to a rock sticking out of the wall surface and pushed it down. All the sudden, a sound similar to the one of ripping paper could be heard throughout the entire cave. Olaf’s small ‘toysoldiers’ all grabbed their ears to keep out the noise. From the rocky surface behind Olafson, a hole in the wall appears. A gaint gateway not visible if you didn’t know it was there, opened from the insides of the wall.
“Way is open, now scram! Before I change my mind!”
Side note, report any typos, there's plenty I think, most was written in the middle of the, well, I guess it was morning. Ohh yeah, it was written in Word, so the text might be a big lacking of, 'fancyness'.
