Okay... here are what I've found in my local magazine. I'll do my best to translate them...
Cherry, 29YO superhot sexy girl has decided to get married. But she has no boyfriend. So she post the ads in the newspaper looking for a husband with only 3 conditions. 1. He must not hit or do any harm to her when they have a serious argue. 2.He must not leave her when in trouble. And 3. He must be a sex expert. A few days later, when Cherry was cleaning her house. Someone knocks the door. When she open the door she found a man sitting on his wheelchair. Obviously he has no arms and leg. Cherry ask him what is he doing here. The man replied "I want to be your husband." Cherry, now a bit confuse. "What makes you think you are fit for my conditions?" she asked. "Well.... I have no arms. So I cannot hit you. I have no legs then I cannot runaway. And for the third condition...." The man says proudly. " I have no arms and legs. What do you think how I knocked the door?"
Once upon a time... There was an Arabian general fighting in the middle of nowhere. The war went fine but the total victory is still far away...
Six months has passed and there was no women in the camp. So the general and his men were in dire need of sex. One day, the general noticed that his bodyguards were happy and smile all day. So he asked his bodyguards if they had masturbate. The bodyguard replied "No sir... We have a better way... and no, not gay stuff sir..." The general's interest has grow greatly. "HOW?? TELL ME!!!" The bodyguard smile and slowy pointing his finger to a camel. "WHAT?!? But It is a camel!!!" General cried. "Ahh.. yes sir... But it's really can't help. It has been six months sir..."
The general has refuse to use the camel. Another six months had passed. And the war is not over yet. The general couldn't take it anymore and decide to pay the poor camel a little visit...
"SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?" One of his bodyguard cried. The general, caught in the act while "banging" the poor camel, replied "Huh? What? But you told me that you use the camel..." The bodyguard smiled and replied "No sir! We use the camel to ride back to the town and find some girls sir..."
Jack and his son went to the beach. Sunbathing. The son noticed that a man nearby also having sunbath. The son asked his dad.
"Dad, why is his **** bigger than yours?"
Don't know what to say. So dad replied "He is richer than me, son."
One day, dad came back from work. His son tell him " Dad, today there was a man visited mom. They were talking in the room. At first the man was poor. But he got richer and richer as they speak..."
4 men were having dinner at a luxury restaurant. one of them gone to the toilet. So the remaining 3 were talking about their sons.
Man 1 : My son, I don't know what he do but he is very rich... He just gave his friend a $150,000 Porche away for free.
Man 2 : Nah... Do you know that my son just bough his friend a $500,000 mansion? I don't know why my son is so rich.
Man 3 : Your sons are nothing compare to mine! My son just gave his friend his company shares worth $1,000,000. I don't know why he did it but it seems that he has got a plenty money to throw away.
While they were talking. Man4 came back.
Man 4 : Did I miss something?
Man 1 : Oh, we were talking about our sons. What about yours?
Man 4 : It's a sad story...Well, my son... He's gay...
Man 1,2,3 : WHAT!?
Man 4 : Yeah, he is gay. But he is good at earning money, ya know... Just last week. He got a new $150,000 Porche, $500,000 mansion and a shares worth $1,000,000! I don't know how he do it.
Man 1,2,3 : ???
Cherry, 29YO superhot sexy girl has decided to get married. But she has no boyfriend. So she post the ads in the newspaper looking for a husband with only 3 conditions. 1. He must not hit or do any harm to her when they have a serious argue. 2.He must not leave her when in trouble. And 3. He must be a sex expert. A few days later, when Cherry was cleaning her house. Someone knocks the door. When she open the door she found a man sitting on his wheelchair. Obviously he has no arms and leg. Cherry ask him what is he doing here. The man replied "I want to be your husband." Cherry, now a bit confuse. "What makes you think you are fit for my conditions?" she asked. "Well.... I have no arms. So I cannot hit you. I have no legs then I cannot runaway. And for the third condition...." The man says proudly. " I have no arms and legs. What do you think how I knocked the door?"
Once upon a time... There was an Arabian general fighting in the middle of nowhere. The war went fine but the total victory is still far away...
Six months has passed and there was no women in the camp. So the general and his men were in dire need of sex. One day, the general noticed that his bodyguards were happy and smile all day. So he asked his bodyguards if they had masturbate. The bodyguard replied "No sir... We have a better way... and no, not gay stuff sir..." The general's interest has grow greatly. "HOW?? TELL ME!!!" The bodyguard smile and slowy pointing his finger to a camel. "WHAT?!? But It is a camel!!!" General cried. "Ahh.. yes sir... But it's really can't help. It has been six months sir..."
The general has refuse to use the camel. Another six months had passed. And the war is not over yet. The general couldn't take it anymore and decide to pay the poor camel a little visit...
"SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?" One of his bodyguard cried. The general, caught in the act while "banging" the poor camel, replied "Huh? What? But you told me that you use the camel..." The bodyguard smiled and replied "No sir! We use the camel to ride back to the town and find some girls sir..."
Jack and his son went to the beach. Sunbathing. The son noticed that a man nearby also having sunbath. The son asked his dad.
"Dad, why is his **** bigger than yours?"
Don't know what to say. So dad replied "He is richer than me, son."
One day, dad came back from work. His son tell him " Dad, today there was a man visited mom. They were talking in the room. At first the man was poor. But he got richer and richer as they speak..."
4 men were having dinner at a luxury restaurant. one of them gone to the toilet. So the remaining 3 were talking about their sons.
Man 1 : My son, I don't know what he do but he is very rich... He just gave his friend a $150,000 Porche away for free.
Man 2 : Nah... Do you know that my son just bough his friend a $500,000 mansion? I don't know why my son is so rich.
Man 3 : Your sons are nothing compare to mine! My son just gave his friend his company shares worth $1,000,000. I don't know why he did it but it seems that he has got a plenty money to throw away.
While they were talking. Man4 came back.
Man 4 : Did I miss something?
Man 1 : Oh, we were talking about our sons. What about yours?
Man 4 : It's a sad story...Well, my son... He's gay...
Man 1,2,3 : WHAT!?
Man 4 : Yeah, he is gay. But he is good at earning money, ya know... Just last week. He got a new $150,000 Porche, $500,000 mansion and a shares worth $1,000,000! I don't know how he do it.
Man 1,2,3 : ???
