I completely agree. Although it should be mentioned that join fee can go much higher, also depending on if the clan would brings with it its fiefs (if at war) or if it will leave them behind (if at peace with player kingdom) and on how prosperous those fiefs are.
The idea of establishing a meeting in some way and not having to chase parties all over the map could really improve the game experience. I mean, maybe if we could let Melidir know I'm chasing to hand him a carriage full of denars he would be happy to come and talk.
Note also that this hardship on clan recruitment together with being unable to declare peace with lords (which should be reworked but not plainly removed) makes it for a lethal combo, especially in mid-game, when one start up a kingdom as already said.