Hi,
The game is in early access and therefore there can and will be times, where the game is possible unplayable.
If non of your solutions have worked, then try on another computer. Sometimes it's just the computer & game that can't connect properly.
Another solution is to wait for a later date, to test if the game works again. Before early access TaleWorlds public announced that, we will see bugs, glitches and other problems, and they recommended players, that couldn't live with these kind of problems, that they should instead wait and buy it at a later date.
It's alright if you feel like you got scammed, but TaleWorlds have done whatever they could, to clearly inform buyers before they bought the game.