Stuck at first castle, need suggestions

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I've started this mod half a dozen times, and every game ends up with the same sticking point.  At some point, I've got a decent sized army (80-100 men) of assorted riff-raff plus most of my original faction troops, and then spot a recently seized castle (with a small garrison) that I can take.  In several cases, the current owner has been at war against three other factions, and has taken a pounding already.  I take the castle, and start building a barracks or archery range to upgrade my long overdue troops.  Thanks to losses during the siege, I'm already down 10-15 men already, and it's 6-11 days until the new building completes.  A day later, I'm facing a force of 300+ troops of the faction I took it from.  After a nasty fight, where I lose another 10-15 men or so, plus a lot more wounded, the besieger is driven off with extremely heavy losses.  I rest overnight to recuperate from the battle, and in the AM, another 500+ fresh enemy troops show up.  I'm down to 50-60 able-bodied men.  Disaster ensues.

How do you get past those first couple of days after taking the castle?  There simply isn't time to recruit or hire more men, because at that point I can't leave a garrison behind and still have enough men to survive an encounter with a party of 50-80 bandits (or 3 parties of them at once), much less a 100+ man faction army (and their tag-along mercenaries).  Recruiting another dozen men is a proverbial drop in the bucket compared to what the AI throws at me.

The mod has so many features I like that I keep coming back to it, but keep getting stuck at the same point.  Other issues are the insane bandit spawns (at one point in Vaegir territory, I was surrounded and attacked by over 12 separate groups, each consisting of 50+ bandits, in a single battle).  The initial overpowered equipment that your character and all of the recruitable Companions come with makes the entire equipment progression angle seem pointless, as you already have somewhat close to the best equipment money can buy.  Everything else (with a few exceptions) is just "generic loot".  If the game had been a little less "over the top" at the start, it could have been close to perfect, but I suppose that everyone wants their mod to be "moar uber" than the next.

I know that the mod has been essentially abandoned for original M&B, if not for Warband as well, and that it's been months since anyone's posted, but if there are any helpful suggestions, I'm listening.

[ Much later: Played it out for another game month of grinding before taking a castle, which changed everything.  With a party of 150+ higher level troops (many upgraded at the various factions' castles), I had no trouble storming a castle.  This time, the castle had 20+ captives, who were immediately hirable to replace my handful of losses and then some.  By that point, the castle already had a couple of buildings completed, so I could finally upgrade some of my own faction's troops.  After a good night's rest, I was able to camp and convince a group of 15 prisoners to join (which then required an immediate foray or two against bandits to regain the lost morale), and whom I immediately stuck in the castle garrison to prevent desertion.  180+ troops were enough to easily hold off one wave of 300+ attackers who tried to get their castle back, with minimal losses on my part.  With the ability to upgrade my own faction's troops, the game got absurdly easy, and in just over a month I had 2 more castles and a town.  At this point, I'm only delaying further attacks for my "badboy" rating to decline, and then it'll be 2 towns.

Bandit parties are now typically 90-110 men, and the smaller faction armies (including my own two newly enfranchised Lords) are regularly getting beaten by the bandits.  If the number of bandit parties in the vanilla game wasn't immersion-breaking enough, the number and SIZE of the bandit parties in this mod makes it obvious that the bandits outnumber the law-abiding citizens by at least 10:1.  Overall, the workmanship on this mod is excellent, but the "over the top" aspects (everything already way too high at the start) leave very little room for advancement.  I prefer "earning" things in games over "instant gratification". ]
 
1. First off, gather a lot of money, by fighting, trading, doing missions, and taking out nice loans (by nice loans I mean perform tax collection missions in cities, but don't yet return the money. The mission is deemed as accomplished when you collect the taxes, so the days will no longer be counted down, and you can take forever to deliver the money. Once you are rich again, you can deliver it for a relation boost)

2. During this, pick out one lord, preferably a high-ranking one, from the faction you intend to conquer your first estates, who is not the owner of any estates you wish to conquer in the early game. Try to do as many missions for him as possible, to raise your relation with him.

3. When you are ready to conquer your first castle or city, preferably search for a recently conquered one, far from the new owner's home territory. This is important, as you will be leaving it very soon, and you have to perform the next step quickly before they retake it. The farther away from their home territory it is, the less likely it is for them to recapture it soon, as they will be probably beaten by (or at least locked in lots of fights with) the patrols of other kingdoms when they are so far from home.

4. Now, leave most of your army behind, especially the non-mounted troops, so you can be fast, and rush as quickly as you can to the lord you befriended at #2. If he is roaming outside, wait until he enters a castle, then approach the castle and request an audience. Ask him for peace, and pay the money he requires. Having a good relation with him significantly reduces the amount of money you need to pay.

5. Now you have your own kingdom, and no enemies who would threaten you in the short term. Use similar strategies to expand your domain, but take care to not build any universities, as they are bugged. Try to conquer towns before they build universities.

6. After you conquer half the map, and now you inevitably own some towns where universities are already built by the previous owners, you have two choices:

6A. let each and every faction turn against you and beat them all
6B. quit the game, copy your savegame to a safe location, and hope for a patch for the university bug to be released.
 
Thanks for the advice.  Unfortunately, it's too late for the Universities.  I didn't build any, but 3 of my 4 towns already had them.  My infamy is not going down.

Your advice about choosing a target far from the rest of the occupying faction was good, since the castle I eventually took and held was indeed far from assistance or retribution....but so was the castle that was retaken previously.  The difference was that I had 50% more troops the second time, and the castle I took had a full prison that I was able to recruit from.  Once I had a castle and built the proper barracks and other facilities to upgrade troops, the game got almost ridiculously easy.

It's a shame: the mod has some fantastic features, but the absurdly high starting stats and gear leave virtually no room for advancement.  With a little bit of balancing, it could have been fantastic.
 
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