Yoshiboy's Animal Death Match - Match 18 (3 Foxes vs 7 Turtles)

[Yoshiboy]

Welcome to Yoshiboy's animal death match.

Its a pretty simple game - me and my friends have a good laugh playing it and recently when the relatives came down, me, my uncle, my dad and my cousin all had a good laugh going through it. I want to see how well it transfers to an internet forum.

The idea is pretty simple, I present two groups of creatures and you tell me which one you think would win in a fight to the death, and why. The conditions of the fight are pretty simple.

• Each Group of animals is trying to kill the other.
• Animals of the same species are allies.
• The animals MUST fight. Imagine they are on crack or something.
• No animal is allowed to run away in an attempt to tire the other animal.
• Unless specified the terrain will be an open field with a few trees and bushes.
• Remember an Animal may not have the tactical intelligence of you.

I'll change the animals around once a week or whenever the decision seems to be made.

Previous Winners:

1 Horse vs 2 Rams (20 - 1
1 Musk Ox vs 1 Walrus (15 - 20)
3 Wolverine vs 2 Chimps (20 -12)
20 Eagles vs 1 Polar Bear (18 -10)
2 Grizzly Bears vs 1 Hippo (22 -  13)
8 Ferrets vs 1 Rottweiler (20 - 30)
4 Wolves vs 2 Lions (3 - 2
5 Polar Bears vs 1 Elephant (52 - 17)
4 Narwhal vs 1 Killer Whale (26 - 33)
1 Steve Irwin vs 1 Bull Ray(15 - 2
1 Hippo vs 2 Moose (25 - 19)
3 Crocodile vs 2 Gorrilas (31 - 24)
2 Tigers vs 1 Grizzly Bear (32 - 26)
2 Arabian Oryx vs 3 Hyena (8 - 23)
500 piranha vs 1 Great White Shark (25 - 14)
1 Panda vs 2 Lynx (28 - 20)
10 red deer vs 6 baboons (13 - 29)

Current Match:

3 Foxes vs 7 Turtles

 

[Buxton]

Rams - The horses don't really have a 'weapon' as the ram does with a horn.

 

[Yoshiboy]

I dunno if you've been kicked by the back legs of a horse....but lets say that a pony managed to break my shin.

 

[13 Spider Bloody Chain]

Uh, yeah...horses' legs are pretty damn strong when it comes to kicking things. Especially if it's, say, a gargantuan draft horse.

Even a horse rearing up and waving its front hooves would be pretty painful too.

The rams could try to literally surround and pound the horse, but since creatures like horses are used to being attacked by packs of smaller foes (I think; at least that's the way it works it movies  ), well...we'll see.

The rams' headbutts are pretty damn strong though. If they get a good shot off on a horse's leg...

This is, of course, assuming that all three creatures got possesed or something. Otherwise they'll just sit around and munch grass. 

 

[Buxton]

But the horse would have to be still for it to do this, I'm guessing (however funny this is  ) the rams would be charging at this point, if the horse managed to cave in the skull of one of them (lets say they'd be charged together) the other would still probably seriously damage the back legs and underbelly of the horse.

 

[Yoshiboy]

I think it might come down to speed and maneuverability - standing still the horse would be an easy target, but if he could somehow bring the rams in a chase and then try to separate one in a way that allowed him to get a good kick he would be on the upper hand.

(We are presuming they are possessed and for whatever reason are trying to kill each other - thats the fun part)

 

[morgoth2005]

Yea, the horse heads towards one, dodges the horns and kicks the ****er's face in. Then turns onto the retarded other one, and finishes it off likewise. When a horse rears p and starts kicking, nothing, I repeat, nothing will go under those hooves.

 

[Yoshiboy]

Just your standard wild horse.

 

[James]

I personally would go for the horse. Although the rams have their horns, a horse is faster and, AFAIK, smarter than rams, and it has good weapons on both ends of it's body, not to mention teeth.

 

[Voutare]

EDIT: And I'd say the rams. They hit hard, and if they go after the horse's legs....

 

[James]

Where's Volkier when you need him?

 

[Voutare]

Where's Volkier when you need him?

Watch him pick the rams.

 

[bryce777]

Rams are mean. They would win.

 

[morgoth2005]

Rams are only for the Welsh and New Zeland population of the world. We, I'm afraid, will have to suffice with the poor old horsies.

 

[Archonsod]

The horse, quite easily.

Firstly, rams are sheep. Like all sheep, they're stupid. I've calculated in fact that at any given moment there's a 50% chance that a sheep's body will spontaneously commit suicide on account of not believing how stupid it's brain is.

Secondly, Rams are pretty pathetic really. They might be able to knock over a three year old, but we're talking about trying to but half a tonne or more of pure horse muscle. It'd be like watching Bulle attempting to push the governator over. Rams simply don't have the mass or muscle to even cause the horse to move.

Third, the horse has hooves. It doesn't even have to kick the rams, just stand on them and you get mutton pancakes. Of course, the horse is probably smart enough to simply take a good run up first, so the effect from the point of view of the ram is a bit like being hit by a car, and one which has hydraulic hammers for wheels.

Finally, rams aren't exactly the most aggressive animal in the world. While the horse is likely to kick first and ask questions later, the Ram is more likely to stand and bleat for ten minutes while it's brain tries to figure out what's going on.

So, haggis all round I reckon.

 

[Llew2]

Seriously though, I think two verses one can only end one way in this particular scenario.

Yeah, the horse will definitely win.

Whoever said that horses don't have 'weapons' is very, very wrong. They have big teeth and bigger feet, and would kick the rams into orbit in about 3 seconds.

What Arch said.

 

[Yoshiboy]

Looks like the horse is catching up.

 

[Llew2]

Looks like the horse is catching up.

They'd better. 

But tell me, O Ram lovers, just how is a ram going to attack a horse? There really isn't all that much to butt at the level of their horns, and since most ram's horns are curled all the way around, they wouldn't even be able to gore the horses stomach, should they make it past the hooves and teeth.

 

[Yoshiboy]

I think if the Rams managed to team up on the horse so that one of them could get a chance to Ram out it's legs. Then I think with two Rams it would be deadmeat. I just can't see a horse defending against two Rams like that.

 

[Llew2]

I think if the Rams managed to team up on the horse so that one of them could get a chance to Ram out it's legs. Then I think with two Rams it would be deadmeat. I just can't see a horse defending against two Rams like that.

Ever seen a stallion fight? They aren't exactly slow. If the two rams charged the horse, say, one at the front legs and one at the back, the rear one would get his face smashed in, and at the same time the front would would get his face torn off.