World Domination

[shades_o_grey]

Hello people. I just failed at another world domination attempt  What about you guys? Do you have any hints or tips for me? Any sucess stories that got downplayed or skipped over by the MainStream Media? Was the iceland volcano shutting down major airports across Europe your idea, (I'm looking at you McBev)  and you didn't get the credit you deserved? Tell us, we want to know!!! 

 

[siprus]

volcanic eruption was cause people didn't have enough sex in island. thus angering gods.
(it an old belief, heard it on some radio show... so not sure if they actually believed that in viking times.)

 

[Magorian Aximand]

If there were any success stories, don't you think the world would be controlled by one person?

 

[shades_o_grey]

I was thinking minor success stories. Everyone who's ever watched a spy movie knows that in the long run, we mad power-hungry gits tend to lose. I want "Won the battle" not "Won the war" success stories. My problem is that I'm a commited conservationalist AND a power-hungry semi-mad experimenter type person. It's hard to come up with plans that serve both goals, and still succeed. My most recent experiment ground down and was pointless . I found that while Woodchucks CAN chuck wood, they apparently CAN'T chuck enough to keep even a small, steam powered "Ender-of-Worlds-O-Nator" going for very long.

 

[siprus]

with enough money you can get anything you want. other than that is quite impossible to rule the world.

 

[diavel]

Start your own religion.

 

[vadermath]

The only way to truly dominate the world is to do it without anyone noticing, hence not creating any stories at all. Doing it all using subterfuge, secrecy, and backstabbery would prove much more effective than, say, a robot army in the long run. Basically, if I were to use a gigantic army consisted out of ridiculously good armaments to conquer the Earth, sooner or later, rebels would rise up against me, and sooner or later, the rebels would find a way to thwart me.

But, if I were to find a way to secretly control the most powerful countries on the planet and/or the United Nations, there would be no danger of rebels, because there would be nothing to rebel against; Without a stupid or extremely radical change of policy, no-one would even notice I (or my secret Illuminatish organization) had been the puppet master in the shadows all along.

 

[Taimat396]

Today I ate a meal. Continued nutrition is required for any future world ending, y'know?

Anyway, Vader. Sure you can prevent rebels. Take over world, make world better. In the meantime, have scientists invent mind control towers.

 

[vadermath]

Hm. Mind control towers. Nice one.

Maybe we should partner-up. I'll take Europe and Africa, you can have the rest.

 

[Magorian Aximand]

The only way to truly dominate the world is to do it without anyone noticing, hence not creating any stories at all. Doing it all using subterfuge, secrecy, and backstabbery would prove much more effective than, say, a robot army in the long run. Basically, if I were to use a gigantic army consisted out of ridiculously good armaments to conquer the Earth, sooner or later, rebels would rise up against me, and sooner or later, the rebels would find a way to thwart me.

But, if I were to find a way to secretly control the most powerful countries on the planet and/or the United Nations, there would be no danger of rebels, because there would be nothing to rebel against; Without a stupid or extremely radical change of policy, no-one would even notice I (or my secret Illuminatish organization) had been the puppet master in the shadows all along.

You say it like I haven't done it already.

Aw, hell...

 

[siprus]

The only way to truly dominate the world is to do it without anyone noticing, hence not creating any stories at all. Doing it all using subterfuge, secrecy, and backstabbery would prove much more effective than, say, a robot army in the long run. Basically, if I were to use a gigantic army consisted out of ridiculously good armaments to conquer the Earth, sooner or later, rebels would rise up against me, and sooner or later, the rebels would find a way to thwart me.

But, if I were to find a way to secretly control the most powerful countries on the planet and/or the United Nations, there would be no danger of rebels, because there would be nothing to rebel against; Without a stupid or extremely radical change of policy, no-one would even notice I (or my secret Illuminatish organization) had been the puppet master in the shadows all along.

thats what bribery is for. most powerful nations are like us are quite corrupted.

 

[Selothi]

I'm tempted to just link to a random Pinky & the Brain episode.

 

[Taimat396]

Hm. Mind control towers. Nice one.

Maybe we should partner-up. I'll take Europe and Africa, you can have the rest.

Hell no. I want Europe. Summer mansion, nuclear testing area and training/recruitment facilities are there. Need the Germans to make **** too. I'll give you the Balkans and greenland on top of africa.

 

[K-64]

See, there's a problem with revealing success stories, you have told your competition your strategy, meaning it is easily countered now. Sure it may be a bluff, but it narrows down your plan B,C,D...

 

[Almalexia]

The only way to truly dominate the world is to do it without anyone noticing, hence not creating any stories at all. Doing it all using subterfuge, secrecy, and backstabbery would prove much more effective than, say, a robot army in the long run. Basically, if I were to use a gigantic army consisted out of ridiculously good armaments to conquer the Earth, sooner or later, rebels would rise up against me, and sooner or later, the rebels would find a way to thwart me.

But, if I were to find a way to secretly control the most powerful countries on the planet and/or the United Nations, there would be no danger of rebels, because there would be nothing to rebel against; Without a stupid or extremely radical change of policy, no-one would even notice I (or my secret Illuminatish organization) had been the puppet master in the shadows all along.

No. There is a way to do it militarily. It's just risky, but considering the instability of the diplomacy system set up to preserve peace at the moment, it's a necessary risk. You just need to have enough balls to fight, when nuclear tensions in the world are at it's lowest since the creation of Nuclear Bombs.

 

[vadermath]

I'm not talking about the fighting itself, I'm talking about the inevitable guerrilla warfare after the fighting. It would simply be too much of a chore. Being the power from the shadows is much more interesting.

Hm. Mind control towers. Nice one.

Maybe we should partner-up. I'll take Europe and Africa, you can have the rest.

Hell no. I want Europe. Summer mansion, nuclear testing area and training/recruitment facilities are there. Need the Germans to make **** too. I'll give you the Balkans and greenland on top of africa.

The ****? Africa and the Balkans? **** no. If that's the case, I want America (in its entirety, both the North and the South), the Balkans, Africa, and Greenland. You can have the rest of Europe, Asia, and Australia.

 

[FrisianDude]

Eh, why would you want to dominate the world? Simply turn a tropical island into a frightening redoubt/tropical holiday resort and get some woman-folk on there and you're set.

 

[siprus]

Eh, why would you want to dominate the world? Simply turn a tropical island into a frightening redoubt/tropical holiday resort and get some woman-folk on there and you're set.

truth

 

[Almalexia]

Oh, the guerrilla fighting?

Well then, it obviously depends on the location. Some areas are obviously less likely to rebel, like, say Europe, or the U.S., or lower Canada. Others, like Africa and Afghanistan, and locations that suffer from gross overpopulation, are more likely to rebel. The trick is to absolutely and overwhelmingly crush the rebellion, with little heed to the numerical effect on the population. If the rebellion somehow succeeds and liberates the region, show the ultimate display of power and nuke it.

This might even serve to strengthen your empire's hold over the world, as it shows your absolute determination to hold the Empire together, at any cost. Cruel, yes, yet necessary. And the human cost is unimportant; a species of our size shouldn't even have populations in the billions; and any regional conflict is hardly going to reduce that by any meaningful amount. The object is to make the Empire last as long as possible.

And, well, I would conquer the world for... ideological reasons. I could explain, but I likely wont.

 

[vadermath]

But why? Why would I want to bother myself with all that, when I can run the world in secret? Hell, if I would really care that much about an Empire spanning across the globe, I could easily achieve it peacefully in a few decades, by diplomatically engineering the UN into a world government.

I'd still have my Empire, and the people would be well and happy.