Wife muntinied

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If the wife is accompanying your army and you are defeated, she seems to go away mad. At least that's happened to me in a couple of different games. I was able to locate her by checking the Courtships report and she's in Tulga. But when I tried to retrieve her, my lady insists on picking a fight and she's back in her plain clothes instead of the battle gear I personally picked out for her. What's also troubling, nobody in her family seems to know who she is. She's not in any list of options to get her to come back to me. Yet in my Character screen and the list of Characters, she's there listed as my wife and at 100%. Seems to me this is bad because how can I hold a feast or keep the nobles getting along if I don't have the options in her menu screen? And I gather I can't remarry though I haven't even tried since this just happened. Besides going back to an old save is there a way to remedy this?

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