Wife disappears at quitting faction?

[Tiber]

I would appreciate some help with a wife disappearing upon quitting a faction. I did look for a similar topic and found no answers to fit my question so some input is appreciated.

I am a vassal of a King, married to another lords sister in the same faction; the king granted me one fief initially and then a castle I captured. Unfortunately I lost the castle and the wife moved in with her brother, no problem. Then however after the king refused me for the third time a captured castle I quit the faction with the intention of going independent.

I got several error messages and my wife (still listed as such) is nowhere to be found and her name is no longer highlighted in the character listing. 
Did this only happen because I did not have a castle or town for her to transfer to or because I left the faction?
Is it possible for her to return once I own a castle again?
With a previous avatar the same king (Yaroglek) granted me virtually every town and castle I captured, not sure why he is so stingy now.
So can I avoid this as long as I have a town or castle for my wife to move into when I quite a faction, or should I marry after I become independent?
Thanks for any input.

 

[mastersi]

From my experience, once you have a wife, she will always be linked to whatever faction you're in, not the faction she was part of before. So, if you quit a faction and subsequently become homeless, your wife won't appear anywhere because she has no place to stay. What should happen is that once you do own a fief again, she'll reappear there.

 

[Cornelius Constantine]

Which means you'll have to conquer a town or castle for yourself again, and see what happens.