When is a good moment to marry?

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When she turns 18 is the best moment to marry. That gives the best chances for children.

Outside of that, it depends on what you want.
 
I marry to the faction i will be at war with when a kingdom is made. So i atleast have one governor.
I avoid those with high charm. They will complain about raids.
The less perks she has, the lower level she has. So easier to create a lady you will need.
And i try to marry as quick as possible.
 
Play as a female character. Marry as soon as you can afford it... depending on who, and how quickly you can find them, you can marry within a few days of starting out. Marry into a faction who's land you think you'll need to govern. Marry someone old.

You get their gear, you get children early so they grow up early, so they become useful early.

If you marry an old enough man, he'll die off relatively early, so you can marry again. If he doesn't die as soon as you like, marry someone with high steward and he'll be a handy governor or caravan leader until he does (or you could send him to fight naked over and over).

Marry old again. Rinse, repeat.
 
I thought there were prequisites to marrying, but it turns out, some random looter wannabe can marry a noblewomen if he looted 5000 gold.
I also got a sword as a free extra that sells for 10 000. But I will keep it as a family heirloom.

Pretty broken...
 
Play as a female character. Marry as soon as you can afford it... depending on who, and how quickly you can find them, you can marry within a few days of starting out. Marry into a faction who's land you think you'll need to govern. Marry someone old.

You get their gear, you get children early so they grow up early, so they become useful early.

If you marry an old enough man, he'll die off relatively early, so you can marry again. If he doesn't die as soon as you like, marry someone with high steward and he'll be a handy governor or caravan leader until he does (or you could send him to fight naked over and over).

Marry old again. Rinse, repeat.
Gold digger!
I prefere to pillage for riches.
 
Won't that lower the chances for you to concieve a child?
No, chance of conception is based (almost) entirely on the female. I forget what the base chance is, but it starts out highest at age 18 and gradually declines as they get older. Giving birth also decreases the base chance cumulatively, so the more children a woman bears, the less likely she is to continue getting pregnant. The only difference the male makes is whether or not he has the Virile charm perk.
 
No, chance of conception is based (almost) entirely on the female. I forget what the base chance is, but it starts out highest at age 18 and gradually declines as they get older. Giving birth also decreases the base chance cumulatively, so the more children a woman bears, the less likely she is to continue getting pregnant. The only difference the male makes is whether or not he has the Virile charm perk.
Interesting. I thought, the male's age also plays a role in this. Wonder if the Virile from male and female stacks together?
 
i have checked the age of every woman giving birth in my last playthrough, so if your question is about heir chances here is what i have gathered

teenage women: high fertility, but they have an unusually high death rate from birth, especially from first born child, though it could just be a coincidence (and is not exclusive to young age, i have seen 40 year old women perish for same reason)
20-25: high fertility, (probably) more safe births
26-35: decent fertility, can have quite a lot of kids in this timespan alone
36-45: if they are virgins, a pregnancy is almost always guaranteed, otherwise by this age their fertility is (getting) low
46-55 low fertility, or lost fertility

for each child birth, pregnancy becomes rarer. something out of control, random chances, also affect fertility. you could marry a young woman who has not married before and still struggle to have children for many years, no matter how much you spend time on it (been there, only had two kids overall, and if i remember right she died on the second birth :ohdear:)

on my current playthrough i played as a woman and got late into marrying, around mid 30s, but i still managed to have 5 children

for male fertility, it looks like their fertility is strong all the way up to age 50 (not counting in random gene factors), then it declines. i have seen 60 yo's still impregnate women of all ages, so i assume their fertility disappears completely between the age of 65-70
 
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i have checked the age of every woman giving birth in my last playthrough, so if your question is about heir chances here is what i have gathered

teenage women: high fertility, but they have an unusually high death rate from birth, especially from first born child, though it could just be a coincidence (and is not exclusive to young age, i have seen 40 year old women perish for same reason)
20-25: high fertility, (probably) more safe births
26-35: decent fertility, can have quite a lot of kids in this timespan alone
36-45: if they are virgins, a pregnancy is almost always guaranteed, otherwise by this age their fertility is (getting) low
46-55 low fertility, or lost fertility

for each child birth, pregnancy becomes rarer. something out of control, random chances, also affect fertility. you could marry a young woman who has not married before and still struggle to have children for many years, no matter how much you spend time on it (been there, only had two kids overall)

on my current playthrough i played as a woman and got late into marrying, around mid 30s, but i still managed to have 5 children

for male fertility, it looks like their fertility is strong all the way up to age 50 (not counting in random gene factors), then it declines. i have seen 60 yo's still impregnate women of all ages, so i assume their fertility disappears completely between the age of 65-70
I an attest to this; therefore, I don't recommend stressing about fertility because you're pretty much guaranteed AT LEAST one child, quite likely 2-3 without even really trying.

However, to answer the original question (that I'm late for); I'd answer ASAP since more family members equals more stuff you can do and also people to play on as should you die either naturally or violently. I prefer close age ranges (for obvious reasons) so I'd recommend getting your sons shipped ASAP as well but not marry any daughters out unless you're playing as them (because otherwise you'll lose them).

As for skills... I prefer spouses with combat-oriented skills because I'm never going to have my own spouse outside my unit since I want to maximize fertility (and I like to have them around lol) so anything for party leaders or governors is kinda useless on them. I'd even do this for wives of sons (other male relatives) because I at least want them paired together until they have 2 kids (including at least one son) so I can "secure their bloodlines" since they don't make babies unless they spend time together (and there's no way they're spending time together if leading separate battle parties lol and the governor trick is both horribly slow/unreliable and outright buggy as of the latest patch). But I mainly just marry whoever's willing and not fugly while still being in an acceptable age range lol. I don't prioritize their skills since they can grow into what they need over time anyway.

EDIT: Note that youth (for both players and NPCs) amplifies the rate at which their skills develop while old age retards it, so keep that in mind... overall.
 
I an attest to this; therefore, I don't recommend stressing about fertility because you're pretty much guaranteed AT LEAST one child, quite likely 2-3 without even really trying.

However, to answer the original question (that I'm late for); I'd answer ASAP since more family members equals more stuff you can do and also people to play on as should you die either naturally or violently. I prefer close age ranges (for obvious reasons) so I'd recommend getting your sons shipped ASAP as well but not marry any daughters out unless you're playing as them (because otherwise you'll lose them).

As for skills... I prefer spouses with combat-oriented skills because I'm never going to have my own spouse outside my unit since I want to maximize fertility (and I like to have them around lol) so anything for party leaders or governors is kinda useless on them. I'd even do this for wives of sons (other male relatives) because I at least want them paired together until they have 2 kids (including at least one son) so I can "secure their bloodlines" since they don't make babies unless they spend time together (and there's no way they're spending time together if leading separate battle parties lol and the governor trick is both horribly slow/unreliable and outright buggy as of the latest patch). But I mainly just marry whoever's willing and not fugly while still being in an acceptable age range lol. I don't prioritize their skills since they can grow into what they need over time anyway.

EDIT: Note that youth (for both players and NPCs) amplifies the rate at which their skills develop while old age retards it, so keep that in mind... overall.
i also want to add to this that you should reject marriage proposals if you have no good reason to accept them. theyre practically tryin to scam you just for goodwill. if you make your own proposals, you get to bargain for money, squeeze the suitors dry, let them know your daughters may not be invaluable, but they are worth something :oops:

i didnt know about the learning by age, explains why my two young daughters are quickly becoming rampant fighters when i let them lead their own parties (while i do my best to reject every marriage proposal :LOL:) only send them off to marry first when they can fend for themselves, and for good luck

also, i think if you take your time to win the romance miniquizz, you get to marry them for free. asking for a suitor through clan leader adds in the bargaining price. so yes i think its more valuable long term to drag through dating, rather than arranging marriage, since marrying early isnt always a guarantee for many children, as the fertility threatens to dive for each birth more than age does
 
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i also want to add to this that you should reject marriage proposals if you have no good reason to accept them. theyre practically tryin to scam you just for goodwill. if you make your own proposals, you get to bargain for money, squeeze the suitors dry, let them know your daughters may not be invaluable, but they are worth something :oops:

i didnt know about the learning by age, explains why my two young daughters are quickly becoming rampant fighters when i let them lead their own parties (while i do my best to reject every marriage proposal :LOL:) only send them away first when they can fend for themselves, and for good luck
Yes, you can go up to patriarchs/matriarchs and bargain lol, but I got lucky when Emperor Nemos recommended Garios's granddaughter Palysira to my youngest son. She was an absolute chadette both physically (tall, strong-looking, but also unambiguously feminine) and statistically (extremely high combat stats) and she popped out sons for him (who was also the chad of his generation lol, RIDICULOUSLY fast growth rates, focus points, attributes, etc.) within 2 years of marriage while his previous wife (who died in battle shortly after marriage) didn't make any babies! Note, he was around 20-24 while she was a couple years older (his first wife was around 30, but this was before I realized they have to spend time together so that's likely why they had no kids).

Part of the reason why your kids level up so quick is because younger generations inherit extra Attribute and Focus points (based on their parents' own development from what I can tell) and that allows you to min-max like crazy. For example, I gave my daughter/successor maxed out INT so she mastered all three INT skills within a few years of being played and she also has maxed Focus Points in Polearms so, despite having only 2 Strength, she has capped it at 211 or so within a similarly short time.

Note: being generous in negotiations (including marriage proposals) gives relationship bonuses, so selling marriage access at a premium might not be worth as much as being the "progressive family" that believes arranged marriages shouldn't involve trading money lol.
 
20-25: high fertility, (probably) more safe births
26-35: decent fertility, can have quite a lot of kids in this timespan alone
36-45: if they are virgins, a pregnancy is almost always guaranteed, otherwise by this age their fertility is (getting) low
46-55 low fertility, or lost fertility
For my character it was like this:
20-25: pregnant, pregnant, pregnant
26-35: pregnant....
36-43 (for now): totally sterile.

I guess, if you have 3 or 4 children in your early twenties (meaning if your PC is a female), then chances of conceiving another one decrease dramatically and it gets even lower as your PC gets older.
 
For my character it was like this:
20-25: pregnant, pregnant, pregnant
26-35: pregnant....
36-43 (for now): totally sterile.

I guess, if you have 3 or 4 children in your early twenties (meaning if your PC is a female), then chances of conceiving another one decrease dramatically and it gets even lower as your PC gets older.
yes haha like i said, pregnancy reduces fertility significantly faster than age does. you can have a 20 year old woman who has pumped out kids since she was 18 and already have three kids, who will first be able to have another child in her 30s, or you can maybe have a 40 year old woman who can also produce at least three children before going sterile. so starting out at an early age is only if you dont want to take any risks, in case you or your partner might simply have a low reproduction chance from the get-go. then you want all the time in the world possible. but for anyone who is not supposed to be your heir, you can be more relaxed about who they marry and focus more on how it benefits your clan, ie what skills do they bring in / what money you can get out of it / relationship building with certain clans. finding the right partners, or holding on to daughters and nieces, is especially useful if you are trying to do a no companion playthrough - simulating to be like other clans

like yoshioki mentioned, the way you bargain for money is either a choice between the cash or relation gains, so its up to you what you are going for. if bannerlord works like warband, then making sure you are friend with anyone, including enemies, will make sure fewer raid your villages out of spite and that allies vote for you (the political system is a wobbly placeholder currently though). and if they ever should want to defect from their liege, having good relations with them improves the chance of them joining your side. but i mostly just go for the cash, and instead release prisoners for the relation gain if the war allows it. if i remember correctly, then good relations in warband also allowed you to use these relations to weasel your way out of a fight, costing 10 relation points. but thats yet something implemented in bannerlord. as for the cash, i think the more developed your child is, the more money you can take for their marriage, so marrying off 18 yo should be less valuable than marrying off a 35 yo well developed person. at least, if it doesnt work like that, i think it should. you are saving other clans time from having to develop their skills, and their fertility change should not be noticeable

yoshioki: oh i thought you meant like they actually speed up learning at a young age. like if you have this poor 40 yo woman who has been rotting as a governor forever and then finally get to go fighting, her focus points in fighting are going to be as impactful as someone at age 18 with equal focus and lack of learning, or will it be different?
 
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yes haha like i said, pregnancy reduces fertility significantly faster than age does. you can have a 20 year old woman who has pumped out kids since she was 18 and already have three kids, who will first be able to have another child in her 30s, or you can maybe have a 40 year old woman who can also produce at least three children before going sterile. so starting out at an early age is only if you dont want to take any risks, in case you or your partner might simply have a low reproduction chance from the get-go. then you want all the time in the world possible. but for anyone who is not supposed to be your heir, you can be more relaxed about who they marry and focus more on how it benefits your clan, ie what skills do they bring in / what money you can get out of it / relationship building with certain clans. finding the right partners, or holding on to daughters and nieces, is especially useful if you are trying to do a no companion playthrough - simulating to be like other clans

I like to play it safe by making as many kids as possible as soon as possible lol. Or, at least, an heir per bloodline down the line. At least until "retirement" is implemented, it's actually a bit of a risk to live too long relative to your designated heir because, well, if you die at 70 and you had your picked child at 25, then they'll be 45 and nearing death when you enter them.


like yoshioki mentioned, the way you bargain for money is either a choice between the cash or relation gains, so its up to you what you are going for. if bannerlord works like warband, then making sure you are friend with anyone, including enemies, will make sure fewer raid your villages out of spite and that allies vote for you (the political system is a wobbly placeholder currently though). and if they ever should want to defect from their liege, having good relations with them improves the chance of them joining your side. but i mostly just go for the cash, and instead release prisoners for the relation gain if the war allows it. if i remember correctly, then good relations in warband also allowed you to use these relations to weasel your way out of a fight, costing 10 relation points. but thats yet something implemented in bannerlord. as for the cash, i think the more developed your child is, the more money you can take for their marriage, so marrying off 18 yo should be less valuable than marrying off a 35 yo well developed person. at least, if it doesnt work like that, i think it should. you are saving other clans time from having to develop their skills, and their fertility change should not be noticeable

I'm not sure where (officially) you read of the political system being a placeholder--I've seen disgruntled players say this but nothing official. Unfortunately, since the game's still in development despite being "officially done," it's impossible to be sure of anything since we could be 6 months away from a major overhaul of this or that or it could be "properly done" with only bug fixes and minor additions before possible DLCs.

Relations DO NOT factor into fief voting unlike Warband, I can confirm that much since the developers actually spelled out how fief voting is determined, but I cannot say what relations does and does not impact otherwise.

I'm not sure what determines bride/groom costs; I know when I, as my daughter, became sultan and went husband hunting, I eventually have up on the third or fourth rejection and just "bought" a husband and found I could be paid ~20,000 denars if I wanted to be lol. She had high Medicine but low other skills and was of Clan Tier 6 negotiating with a Tier 4 or 5, so I'm not sure what determines pricing here. I did not convince my husband-to-be to marry me (I know succeeding this minigame greatly adjusts pricing to be more favorable to the player) so maybe I could have charged far more if I had (not that it would matter--I was a multi-millionaire lol).



yoshioki: oh i thought you meant like they actually speed up learning at a young age. like if you have this poor 40 yo woman who has been rotting as a governor forever and then finally get to go fighting, her focus points in fighting are going to be as impactful as someone at age 18 with equal focus and lack of learning, or will it be different?

Both; youth speeds up growth and old age retards it AND successive generations are blessed with more initial Attribute and Focus points. If you have, I dunno, 3 kids, spaced out in such a way that you had your first when you and your spouse were in their early 20's and the last in your mid 30's, you'll likely find your youngest child the most blessed with Attributes and Focus points (at least in my anecdotal experience that I only noticed a possible discrepency in after the fact...).

Therefore, when a character approaches 50 years of age, their growth rates diminish considerably and while they're teenagers they're super-charged. PLUS inherited bonuses (that I suspect are based on the stats of the parents, but I'm not sure).
 
Play as a female character. Marry as soon as you can afford it... depending on who, and how quickly you can find them, you can marry within a few days of starting out. Marry into a faction who's land you think you'll need to govern. Marry someone old.

You get their gear, you get children early so they grow up early, so they become useful early.

If you marry an old enough man, he'll die off relatively early, so you can marry again. If he doesn't die as soon as you like, marry someone with high steward and he'll be a handy governor or caravan leader until he does (or you could send him to fight naked over and over).

Marry old again. Rinse, repeat.
This is in fact an exploit, because female clan leaders are causing the man to join their clan instead of the female joining the male clan, should probably be fixed by the Devs, so that all females are joining the clan of their husband or by allowing to decide, wich character joins, regardless of gender.
 
This is in fact an exploit, because female clan leaders are causing the man to join their clan instead of the female joining the male clan, should probably be fixed by the Devs, so that all females are joining the clan of their husband or by allowing to decide, wich character joins, regardless of gender.
That's not an exploit; matriarchs are the exception to the rule and marriage prices aren't only for males trying to marry women.

I don't know if it'd be a good idea to let the negotiations decide who joins who's clan because any remotely intelligent player would pay a premium to grab as many new clan mates as possible whereas the A.I. will likely be foolish enough to sacrifice clan members for chump change (relatively speaking). If I were to make an amendment, I'd recommend allowing clan heads to designate heirs before their death so that said-heirs follow the same clan head exceptions (particularly important for Ira Pethros) and make it impossible or very difficult to revoke to prevent abuse of this exception. At the very least, for clans with only female non-heads, make it so at least one of them brings a man in so they don't marry them off to the point of causing the extinction of their clan.
 
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