What's on your mind?

Bromden

Archduke
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It is quite telling about the modern human being that he needs a separate piece of hardware with its own plumbing and whatnot just to wash his ass.
 

Cyborg Eastern European

Canis Mechanicus
Archduke
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It is quite telling about the modern human being that he needs a separate piece of hardware with its own plumbing and whatnot just to wash his ass.
Sure, you can do it your way, but the specialised piece of kit is...y'know...more efficient.

Also, shesh, this place is dead. I remember a time when this would be a 20-page-delayed Bromdenpost.
 

Bromden

Archduke
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Efficiency? You lose what, like 30 secs - a minute per ****ting session by using the shower instead of your specialized ass washing equipment made for the physically (=Parkinson's) and mentally (=snobbery) crippled? I'm sure the world won't benefit that much from all that bidet-earned time.

1 new post
 

DanAngleland

Grandmaster Knight
M&BWBWF&SNW
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I am intrigued, Bromden. Are you trying to tell us that showering your bottom is your preferred method of cleaning it? If so, do you ever do a numero due anywhere other than at home? Showering is essentially a less convenient version of the bidet- other parts of you are bound to get wet thus requiring a towel, you need to fully undress at least your lower half....what the world needs is a basin-to-bidet conversion kit, easy to remove when finished and can be left in the bath when not in use! I'm envisioning a tray that attaches to the bathroom sink, with a hose connecting to the tap. Anyone want to invest?
 

Bromden

Archduke
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Yes, I do my ****s in the morning, so getting undressed or applying towel to my ass for drying purposes is not a problem. I can advise taking up morning ****ting to everyone. It's much better to wake an hour earlier and properly start your day at home than the **** spinning in you all day long or having to empty your bowels into someone else's unclean ****ter, even if it means waking up at 2 am. And I only ever saw one bidet with my own eyes in this country, and it was broken and was used by the owner to hold a pile of comic books for toilet reading.
 

DanAngleland

Grandmaster Knight
M&BWBWF&SNW
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I prefer a morning one as well, and do use the shower to my advantage. The problem is I am not always able to get it out first thing, and I often need to go more than once a day. Some amazing people apparently can go a few days without needing to ****! I have to go virtually every day, sometimes more than once.

I don't think I've actually seen a bidet in England before, but I don't go into a lot of peoples' houses so there could be millions. Houses are getting smaller these days so space is an issue, but is there no such thing as a bidet spout built into a toilet? Hmmm, off to the patent office I go!

EDIT: Damn, they already exist.
 

Bromden

Archduke
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The Japanese have invented a lot of wonderful space toilets long ago, with built-in bidet and g-spot massage and whatnot.
As for starting the day, that's why I leave an hour to have time for everything. Also, coffee + cigarette works wonders.
 

Kobrag

Marquis
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I don't realise how my grandad has survived the last five-six years locked in his home like this. It's only been a week and two days since I was told to isolate due to my chest problems, but I've been going crazy and hitting the weights like mad due to the lack of physical stimulus. I've breezed through picard. Run through Doom. Finsihed 30 games of stellaris and conquered Europe as Armorica. I am staring at my bookshelf and getting frustrated at have to make a choice in the first place instead of picking title out in whimsy.
I'm thinking either the Magician series or Dune?
 

Abraxium

Regular
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Do some retro gaming, I suggest The Guild. Any of them really, but the 2nd with Renaissance is... Mmmm *lip smacking*
 

Cpt. Nemo

The Wurst
Section Moderator
M&BWB
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No, it's just The Official Taleworlds Forum Better Game Remembrance Day, and I'm happy to say everyone is clearly participating.