What made you laugh today - Fifth Edition

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We ordered take-out at work, and when ordering a strawberry milkshake I got the option to add bourbon.
Nice, I thought, getting bourbon vanilla in the shake was a nice touch. Turns out it was obviously the liquor.
I was so naïve to not even consider anyone would add alcohol to a milkshake - especially strawberry.
Christ, I'm dumb.
 
Cursed

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Talk aboud bad luck

On 9 May 1945, Red Army tanks reached Třebíč (a city in Czechoslovakia). A short official greetings of the liberators took place on the central Charles square. Apparently, the cheering was audible in other parts of the city as well so when another column of tanks and military vehicles entered the city in Nové Dvory, a different district of Třebíč, citizens gathered in the streets, waved Czech flags and threw flowers onto the vehicles. That is until they found out that the tanks are not Soviet but German. German soldiers were also surprised that the people that hated them until now are greeting them with cheers and flowers. Citizens of the district then dispersed and hid in their homes. The German column continued until it reached the central square where it met the Soviets and a short skirmish took place.
 
Several years of occupation and they still couldn't recognize a German soldier or vehicle when they saw one. Smart people.

I wonder what the Russians thought when they heard that story...
 
By 1945 the Wehrmacht would have been a complete mishmash of equipment, but even if it wasn't, tank designs and equipment were not common public knowledge. Even opposing militaries had a hard time recognising them, as evidenced by how much the US army said it encountered Tigers compared to how many there actually were.

Stuff like this where groups of modern soldiers barely recognise each other until they're basically talking are surprisingly common. For civilians it would be even harder. Imagine if a portion of the Russian military suddenly appeared in an American city, how long do you think it would take before average, non autistic people realised what was going on?
 
Several years of occupation and they still couldn't recognize a German soldier or vehicle when they saw one. Smart people.
To be fair, they haven't seen Russian soldiery before.
I think I've heard of similar episodes elsewhere, of civilians mistaking militaries.
Unless they have a disctinctive uniform or gear (like red trousers or pith helmets), soldiers look pretty much the same from a distance. Maybe the most distinct were different uniform colors.
 
I think the "tanks and military vehicles" was an artistic licence of the chronicler for a ragtag group of trucks, halftracks and horse carriages, because from the description of the skirmish that took place afterwards, we know that upon sighting the Germans, two Soviet soldiers - a rifleman and a submachine gunner - opened fire on the German column from a tower. The German column then reversed and retreated with no losses on life, though leaving behind an abandoned Kettenkrad.

Hard to say whether two men would be able to stop a column spearheaded by actual tanks. Although, to be honest, if I were a German on 9th of May, I would probably also not be that keen to fight anyone actually shooting at me.
 
Imagine if a portion of the Russian military suddenly appeared in an American city, how long do you think it would take before average, non autistic people realised what was going on?
Well, now that you've made me think about it that way... I bet it would take a while. Although that opinion may be heavily influenced by how little faith I have in the intelligence of many Americans today. There are a lot of seriously stupid ****ers out there.
 
In this day and age, I wouldn't be confident in discerning the military uniform of one country from another. Not unless they had those helpful little flags sewn onto the shoulders.
 
I can confidently say I wouldn't be able to tell a single piece of military machinery in the same category from each other.

EDIT:
The Ig Nobels can always produce a chuckle.

Economics Prize​

Citation: Pavlo Blavatskyy, "for discovering that the obesity of a country's politicians may be a good indicator of that country's corruption."

Peace Prize​

Citation: Ethan Beseris, Steven Naleway, and David Carrier, "for testing the hypothesis that humans evolved beards to protect themselves from punches to the face."
 
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Economics Prize​

Citation: Pavlo Blavatskyy, "for discovering that the obesity of a country's politicians may be a good indicator of that country's corruption."
I'm buying it. I think obesity and alcohol/drug consumption are perfectly functional approximants for poor impulse control and high time preference, which are breeding grounds for corruption and terrible leadership.
 
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