What made you laugh today - Fifth Edition

[Lumos]

Ugh. The UK is literally worse than cancer.

£O£ UR JUST JEA£OUS!!1!


On topic: Gathering with the two flatmates for our weekly watch of "the man in the high castle", and the one with the laptop went to the toilet for a moment before logging into his account. While we were waiting, I took the opportunity to gently touch the needle tips of the tiny cactus we've got on the windowsill - I like doing that for some reason - but accidentally pricked myself for real, and started laughing uncontrollably. The second flatmate joined in, and when the first one returned, the second one exclaimed that I was laughing because I have a small prick, or rather, because I've had a small prick.
A play on words! In real life! Doesn't happen often to me, and it was funny, or maybe it was the fact that I was already laughing.

 

[Age of Empires ¶ Densetsu]

Hilarity.

 

[Bromden]

I witnessed today how a mother tutors her ten or so years old son in the proper use of a dope dealer smartphone game.

 

[Somewhatpro]

I witnessed today how a mother tutors her ten or so years old son in the proper use of a dope dealer smartphone game.

"No! Son, you can't sell your crack there! That's Crips territory!"

 

[Bromden]

My favourite was "don't give weed to him, he has no money and you'll just run out of weed".

 

[Lumos]

Sounds like what Skyler White should've been in "Breaking Bad".

 

[Wellenbrecher]

My compliments to the British bomb manufacturers from WW2, your incompetence gave me a day off (fully paid, mind) for the second time in five (or maybe a bit longer) weeks.
They found their third unexploded bomb in the same construction site today.

 

[Patchouli Knowledge]

Incompetence or ultra-competence? How do you know this wasn't the plan? Maybe they wanted to be slowing the German economy in 70 years time.

 

[Wellenbrecher]

By stopping a US company from building a local office using Polacks as their workforce?
Actually... looking at it this way makes a frightening amount of sense right now.

 

[Harkon Haakonson]

And so, Merkel's Fourth Reich begins its downfall.

 

[Swissky]

My compliments to the British bomb manufacturers from WW2, your incompetence gave me a day off (fully paid, mind) for the second time in five (or maybe a bit longer) weeks.
They found their third unexploded bomb in the same construction site today.

So the Axis powers truly won in the end. 

 

[Adorno]

Tragic and funny

Spintires Dev ‘Sabotages’ Game After Publisher Relationship Breaks Down
https://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2016/03/02/spintires-sabotage-timebombs/

In short, financial disagreements and Pavel’s claims that he couldn’t update the game as he wanted to had caused a division between developer and publisher.
Now, players are reporting crashes and the malfunctioning pieces of code appear to have been intentionally placed – ‘timebombs’, triggered at set times or dates.

 

[Antoine de Saint-Exupéry]

yeah, I posted an article to that in the spintires thread. kinda ridiculous situation.

 

[Dantе]

People really did hate on Ancalimon back in the days.

 

[Wellenbrecher]

For good reason. It's not like the only topic full of lies and nonsense he made or hijacked.

 

[Krik]

He also wasn't even constantly making fun of his rants back then either.

 

[Evilknightz]

****ing ****, I forgot all about that mother****er. The turkish conspiracy memes were hot for years because of him.

 

[QuailLover]

I wrote a paper, last semester, on some of his material. 

Teacher had a great laugh.

 

[TheFlyingFishy]

Started a new game in The Sims 3. A few days in my single bachelor who lives alone gets abducted by aliens who return him after a few hours. I've had it happen before in other saves, and nothing really came of it, so I just kept playing. Next day I get a modifier that tells me I'm experiencing sudden weight gain. Never seen this one before, but I thought it was really neat because the only way to actually gain weight in the game is to pointlessly force feed yourself, and I've always thought it could do with a system where you gained and lost weight in a more natural manner. Then my dude starts walking around with the pregnant female animation. I figured it was a glitch, and was on the verge of raging out of the game when suddenly my dude runs home. I check the corner of the screen to see what action he's performing that requires him to drop everything and go home and it says, "Have baby." Turns out the aliens did a bit more than probe. So I was left with a little green rape by-product on my living room carpet and no intent to start a family. I chose the "Return it to the homeworld" option and it disappeared in a puff of rainbow sparkles, never to be seen again. This game has some disturbing implications sometimes.

 

[Kentucky 『 ＨＥＩＧＵＩ 』 James]

Every time I see a block of text like that I expect the "watch me all alone as i smell and lick a huge, stinky etc" poo copypasta.

Yeah, the aliens thing is pretty disturbing. In the sims 2 aliens would spread their seed over an entirety of certain towns sometimes and within a generation half the people would be half-aliens. I wish there was a reliable way to get third party characters to hate each other -- then you could start a town with half aliens and half humans, and play a metagame as one character where your aim is to isolate the aliens from the humans and from each other until they all died of old age.