What made you laugh today - Fifth Edition

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Cyborg Eastern European

Canis Mechanicus
Archduke
"Diebner: I wonder whether there are microphones installed here?"

"Heisenberg: Microphones installed? (laughing) Oh no, they're not as cute as all that. I don't think they know the real Gestapo methods; they're a bit old fashioned in that respect."
 
My cousin drove his car into a tree 3 days ago and i'm still laughing about it. (no one was hurt except the tree and its still alive)We were doing a break job and we finshed it but since we had to remove the parking break (its a stickshift) we put it into first to lock the car so it would't move. 3 days ago everything is finshed. Another cousin a younger one told my cousin who crashed the car that his car wasn't loud and my older cousin got into the car turned the car on. Oh did I mention we bleed the breaks and still haven't got new break fluid ? Well we did't get new break fluid and he revs the car and it hits a tree 20 feet away only reason that car even slowed down is because he pulled the parking break up. If anyone wants I will share photos. I can't stop myself from laughing at it. I was there when it happened so were two other cousins he almost hit one them luckly he dodged it.
 

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Bedroom Assassin
Archduke
WBNWM&BVC
Hah!
zbcZm.jpg
 

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Bedroom Assassin
Archduke
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A psychotic patient where I work was suicidal and heavily medicated, so all her movements were in slow motion.
As she was eating dinner she turned the knife towards herself and for 10 seconds slowly moved the knife towards her stomach (to kill herself).
We tried to talk her out of it, but eventually had to remove ther knife from her hand. She has now been fixated.
Tragically comical. It reminded me of the murder scene from Ex Machina, that's eerily slow.
 
atleast if she is moving it in slow motion it should't be able to go to far in since it won't have the force behind it needed to go into the stomach. Then again I never tryed stabbing myself in the stomach before.
 

Ikea Knight

Master Knight
M&BWBWF&SNWVC
A psychotic patient where I work was suicidal and heavily medicated, so all her movements were in slow motion.
As she was eating dinner she turned the knife towards herself and for 10 seconds slowly moved the knife towards her stomach (to kill herself).
We tried to talk her out of it, but eventually had to remove ther knife from her hand. She has now been fixated.
Tragically comical. It reminded me of the murder scene from Ex Machina, that's eerily slow.

You really need to have dark humor to find it funny. No offence though, as a story it's funny but would I have witnessed that it probably I'd probably be sad.
Well I guess you need to be optimistic in that work environment.
 

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Bedroom Assassin
Archduke
WBNWM&BVC
It's of course not funny in the moment and tragic for her. But you do get a morbid humour, I suppose.
Once an old lady with delirium was convinced that I was her husbond, and kept reminding me to walk the dog and scolding me for not having cut the grass. It's tragic, but you can't help finding it funny.
 
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Cyborg Eastern European

Canis Mechanicus
Archduke
A Good Samaritan pulled the power cable out of my PC while I was at work, because Thor got mad and ****.
After all, it'd be a shame if the brand new PC in the house blew up.
The power cable next to the PSU power switch.
On the only computer, in the house, whose owner bothered with surge protection.

Sure, it was touch and go for the first minute where I couldn't comprehend why it wouldn't exit sleep mode, but still.
 
Turns out my grandmother went to school with Kamala Harris's's's father. The only reason I know this is because we were on the phone to her and mentioned Kamala Harris, and she wondered if she was related to a clan of Jamaicans called Harris in her hometown. Extremely unlikely and tangential, but we googled it and lo and behold, Donald J Harris is the exact same age as her and was born in the same small town. She actually knew him and his family back in the 1940s up to the 60s when she moved to the UK. Her reaction was "oh so that's what he's doing now...?" :lol:

My grandma now has some dirt on potentially the most powerful woman on earth.
 
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