Dear Sir or Madam. Readers have brought to our attention that you have performed an act of such ignorance that I find it necessary to give you an education about this subject on which you have mentioned.
Our experimental data has led us to the "Theory of Roadblocks with regards to the lesser Molluscs", which shows that snails are by far superior to humans in their capability to cross roadblocks. Our entire readership (12 as of December*) has taken note of this. To put it into "layman" terms for you (seeing as how you clearly have little knowledge of the function of a snail), a snail takes around 4 to 5 hours (timed exactly, and observed first hand) to cross a 12 foot roadblock, wheras humans cannot cross the same barrier without technical help.
Yours Sincerly,
Norman Roberts,
Chairman of "Rotherham Snail Observer Magazine", Advisor to the "Rotherham Steam Engine Bolt Filing Committee", Head of the "Rotherham Slovenian Chartered Accountancy Memo Catalouge Project"
PS, The "Rotherham alternative gravel collectors magazine" is looking for new readers, after all of them (2) died of the cold. We have enclosed a free copy.
*Note, 4 have died whilst writing this letter, but this doesn't invalidate the point