Adaham said:
To me it seemed like every single time I mentioned you (starting on day 1 when I urged you to be more active), you reacted in an emotional way. What also surprised me, was that you almost only did so with me.
Well, I tried to do the emotional reaction with Pilgrim, especially after he called me "princess", but was hampered by the fact that if I overplayed it, I knew I'd have to vote to lynch him at some point or look dodgy for changing my mind after making such a strong "Pilgrim's #2 wolf right now" case against him.
That probably would have worked out really badly for me if Pilgrim hadn't been replaced.
My knee-jerk reaction to Xardob after he pushed through the lynch of Tuckles fell flat when he didn't really rise to my accusations and mostly shrugged them off as "**** happens." I thought I couldn't push my point home without coming across as suspicious (Pilgrim even pointed out that I didn't challenge Xardob further after his "**** happens" post, but luckily nobody was really paying attention to Pilgrim at that point).
The day 1 reminder to play the game is the perfect example. Sure, you being a wolf and all explains that, but it's a treatment that only I received throughout the game from you.
It's also the reason why we kept CW around instead of lynching her earlier. Her antagonistic stance towards you gave me the impetus to continue my own; I knew as long as I was
slightly less antagonistic than CW, I wouldn't look like the ringleader on that.
It was nothing personal, just happenstance that CW fixated on you early, and I picked up on that and saw it could be exploited. If she'd fixated on Xardob, or Nipple, or Ativan, I would have followed suit. so yeah, you can definitely accuse me (and accurately so) of pole-scratching or whatever it was, and I admit it. It was simply by chance that I fixated on you. And it got even easier on Day 2, when CW started mocking you, because even though I was arguing against you, I could sit back and condemn her behaviour (which I would have done anyway even if I was innocent, because the way I see it if somebody's gone to the trouble to post a WoT they deserve respect for their time and effort even if you don't agree with their post)
Deep inside myself I think it was a bit unfair and that's why I think that if you didn't mean it personal, you would have done something immediately after the game was over to convince me it wasn't personal.
Yeah, that's not really my style. I thought it went without saying that, since this is a game, nothing was personal. But I'm not going to apologise for exploiting a situation; for silently encouraging CW whilst publically condemning her mocking of you, for trying my hardest to convince the Sheep voters that I was one of The Good Guys by changing my vote from you to Sheep; nor for anything else that I did or said throughout the game. Because, y'know, wolves won in the end. All's fair in love and war.
And maybe you won't believe me when I say this, but the only moments in which I was being actually genuine in the whole game and not completely bull****ting where 1) most of Day 1 when I was lost and confused, 2) when I offered you condolences for the death of your relative, and 3) that whole Gendergate thing which had me seriously considering asking to be replaced regardless of how it would completely screw up our wolf team.
And I'm being completely honest when I say that if I didn't see a situation and exploit it to its maximum potential then I think I would have been a really ****ty wolf and deserved to be lynched on Day 1. Especially when I saw what happened to the new player (Volkonski) in the Caravan game. Do I feel bad that it made you stressed and unhappy? Sure. But I didn't pick you on purpose, I actually wanted to kill you during Night 1. So, I'm sorry it was you who ended up getting the tunnel-vision from me, but I'm not sorry for trying to make the best of a chaotic and disorgnised village.
Especially since you must have realized that the way you played me took an emotional toll on me. You see, you could have at least put the last vote on me when I voted myself
In my head, what was going to happen was that Magorian would show up at 9pm GMT AS HE PROMISED HE WOULD DO and put that final vote on you. And then until Nomad posted the results, everyone would be sure Magorian and Cal were wolves, keeping everyone in the dark about me until the narration.
But Magorian turned up over an hour later, and by that time you'd already withdrawn the vote on yourself. I really did kick myself over that, because for ages I was like "I'll just give Magorian 5 more minutes, then vote Adaham..." and 5 minutes quickly turned into an hour.
If I had to play that last 2 hours again, I would lynch you without hesitation. But the appeal of a dramatic end-game reveal overruled my common sense. It might even have lost us the game if Cal had changed his mind. But meh, hindsight.
Granted, that kind of codex doesn't exist in Werewolf, but I would have appreciated if you had taken the victory with a small nod towards me for not being as off as people claimed I was. I'm petty, too...
Like I said, the dramatic appeal was greater than my common sense.
If Team Wolf perspective has anything new to offer that I haven't been accused of yet (like causing a huge distraction with my "discrediting"-act), then I'm all ears. Please let me know, I'm curious about the Jumanji window.
First of all, there are no elephants, rhinoceroses or monkeys involved in the Johari window. Also no annoying children.
The first thing which helped our position was between you and Xardob, the friendly overtures on Day 1. Early on in Day 1 I suspected Xardob of being the Seer (yes, long before Cal's role-suspicions) and although we ended up killing Soot, that suspicion of Xardob being the Seer only increased during Day 2, when he seemed to take instruction/advice from you in some of his votes. We blocked Xardob on Day 1, but when we lost Sheep, we lost our role-block, so we killed Xardob instead. Part of that reason was because we weren't sure about his "hunch" on Pilgrim, but partly because the two of you were being so chummy. Even if he'd scanned Pilgrim on Night 1, he could still have scanned you on Night 2 and then tried to convince the village he was innocent by revealing he was the Seer in the hopes that that Guardian Angel would protect him. As unlikely a situation as that may seem now, the threat seemed real enough at the time. The fact that the two of you seemed to be co-ordinating your votes made us feel that we either had to kill or discredit you. And since we thought Xardob was the Seer, killing him made more sense than killing you.
The second thing you have already mentioned; the fact that you kept bringing up that people were trying to discredit you after your opinions seemed to clash. I can see why you were frustrated and defensive (I was pressing my attack on you as hard as I dared and hardly discouraging people from doing otherwise) but a prime example of this behaviour being beneficial to the wolves was whenever you and Ativan argued, you seemed to get much more emotional/defensive whenever he was in disagreement with you or dismissive of you. I was living with the constant worry that the two of you would stop arguing, put your heads together and actually figure out who the wolves were, but you both seemed to see-saw between trust and mistrust so frequently that it made your posts seem much less consistent and entirely dependent upon how much you suspected each other.
Third and final, there were several instances where you started to address a player and ask them to consider something, or otherwise respond to their questions of you, and the start of your post was actually really concrete. But then, within the same post, you would either contradict yourself or polarise that person's view by making accusations. For example, a couple of times you did this with CW and myself, first addressing one of us with a genuine post but then in the middle of it going on to accuse that same person by comparing them to somebody else's behaviour. You also did this at least twice with Cal, once when you lynched him and then, within the very same post, offered to change your vote to CW if he would. And second on the last day, when you made an appeal to him if he was an innocent, but then mid-post went on to explain how my own lack of voting you to end the game probably meant I was innocent and therefore Cal and Mags were probably wolves. The way in which the middle of your posts sometimes contravened the first part of your posts simply confused some of the villagers and is, I believe, the reason why Cal ended up frustrated and voting for you on Day 4.
I'm not saying any of this is the reason why the villagers lost the game. We got lucky with Pilgrim being replaced (twice!) and the fact that there were no Special roles for villagers. Xardob's votes seemed completely random and he rarely backed his votes up with solid reasoning. Nipple had his moment of flawed logic and lost much of his credibility, especially when his arguments fell down under scrutiny of Ativan. CW was constantly antagonistic towards you, and since she became the High Priestess of Soot, it made her own play look even more suspicious than it already was. Cal made the mistake of trusting me, though I did try really, really hard to earn that trust. Ativan focused on Sheep for almost all of Day 2 and wasn't particularly active in hunting other wolves. And since Sheep, Pilgrim and I were so disorganised, it was easier for us to distance ourselves from each other, and harder for the village to put us in a pack together.
All of these things together were contributing factors. I can see how you think you were singled out and attacked without real reason; in part, you were. But it wasn't personal, it was just how the game fell.