Yoshioki Ouchi
Sergeant
Are you serious? I honestly have to ask because you have it completely backwards lol.Something else to add to the weirdness is that if you marry a widow with kids, the kids stay in the other clan. I do find it more realistic that people married of their mother for political gain. But who in the world would split a mother from her kids! Thats just crazy.
It's actually highly unrealistic for anybody to marry off their mothers for political gain because women that are above the age of 25, not virgins, and have kids from previous marriages tend to have low "marriage value" by default and that's before you consider the moral outrage most cultures have with regards to the idea of sexual and marital loyalty (basically, in most cultures I've read about, when a woman marries a man, that marriage does not end when he dies; if she isn't basically or literally a chaste nun for the rest of her life she'd be perceived as having betrayed not only her husband but her kids, parents, ancestors, and probably your dog while she's at it lol). It HAS happened, but usually under threat of violence (like an overlord is attracted to a milf and demands her from her husband or son or something like that) or as an insult (her stepson's in charge and he doesn't care for her so he's tossing her out as an insult to both her and her new husband).
In most feudal societies kids were the property of their paternity, not their mothers, with women married into a noble family treated as outsiders rather than insiders. In more cutthroat environments (like, say Warring States Japan) these women were expected to spy on their husbands and children on behalf of their fathers/brothers (and older sons if applicable) or even try to kill them if commanded to (among other acts of sabotage). In the more extreme environment, noble women generally didn't care for their children because they're not "theirs" in either a legal or in-setting moral sense but the property of their husbands (or husbands' clan).
Of course, different times and places have very different ideas on morality, but most patriarchal societies treat children as belonging to their fathers, not their mothers, especially if they're considered important enough to kill for (as in, kill the mother to ensure the child doesn't abandon their father's family for their mother's family). You ought to read about the histories of various dynasties to see just how screwed up it could be across the world, but also to note how different the cultures could be with regards to familial piety.