The 10 Worst Things To Happen In Battle

[JohnathanStrange]

1. Having one's head cut off.
2. Forgetting where you left your inventory with the extra arrows.
3. Leaving your horse in your inventory.
4. Being shot in the back by Borcha.
5. Shooting a friendly troop with 90 damage.
6. Ordering "Follow me" and finding out you're the only one left.
7. Discovering your bow doesn't shoot crossbow bolts (and you always find this out after you've made a rude remark about the Dark Knight's mother).
8. Having the enemy's reinforcements "beam down" all around you.
9. Getting your mount shot out from under you right in the middle of a pirate convention.
10. Being shot in the back by Borcha.

And to top it all off, after the battle, when you've said "Let me up, I've had enough" and try to get back that nomad bow that you specifically only lent Borcha, he wants 3200 denars for it!

 

[Cleitan]

Haha oh yeah, Ive had all of these things happen to me in battle!

 

[Mr 47]

Riding into battle, charging a group of enemies with a lance, getting stopped, and suddenly realizing "OH fsck! I left my sword in my inventory!", and being chopped into tiny tiny pieces by ravening pirates.

 

[Tarrak]

Focusing on shooting your bolt only to realize on release that you have 6 javelins and whatnot heading right for you.

Backing away from hordes of enemies, right into a tree.

Realize in hte middle of a battle that Sea Raiders are not just glorified Pirates.

To watch your entire force of knights charge headlessly out against Sea Raiders in a river.

 

[[bok]sublime]

Losing all your top-tier units. *sniff*
Being just out of range of a pikeman while being poked to death
Being gangraped by 6 enemies

 

[CurryMutton]

In no particular order:

1. Charging towards an unspecting enemy from behind only to find you were "looking" in the wrong direction when you made your killing blow;

2. Charging towards an unspecting enemy from behind only to find you run right into a tree/rock/bush;

3. Charging towards an unspecting enemy from behind only to find you were killed by a crouching lance from behind whose mount was faster than yours;

4. Made a grand Hollywood Leap(tm) across a stream/river/crreep only to find your mount crippled upon landing right in front of a big band of [insert your wrost feared enemy type here];

5. Charging shieldlessly towards a band of river bandits only to find they got some sea raider buddies there, too;

6. Ordering your fellow men to "Folllow Me" in order to find they all concentrated on a single one in the river leaving you to face the rest of [insert your wrost feared enemy type here] hoarde alone;

7. Got really "lucky" by knocking out/killing three of your fellow men in-a-row using [insert your ranged weapon here] -- out of a party of three;

8. Get an instant-kill head shot from opponent (in Arena) or losse-cannon-on-deck from behind right just when you joined a battle;

9. Helping peasants/farmers/refugees out against dark knights only to find your initial team was nothing but you and the rest of peasants/farmers/refugees;

10. Charging towards a readying bowman/crossbowmen/javalien-thrower/spearman head-on only to find you got hit fatally the last moment you lowered your shield.

Barely make a ten.

To me, they are as much nightmare as comedy.

 

[Krayzie]

Accidently issue followme command in a big hole it's impossible to get up from. Lost 3 knights to their archers!

 

[Skyrage]

Having one enemy left which you try and take out with an arrow, only to have a swordsister killing the last enemy and at the same time you put the arrow in her head, killing her in the process =

 

[Salkin]

Realize in hte middle of a battle that Sea Raiders are not just glorified Pirates.

Been there , done that !

//Salkin

 

[EppuTheHeppu]

The worst for me, get a volley of bolts from your own crossbowmen, when you happened to kill the last enemy they were aiming for... (AI tends to attack the location of the last enemy), but I barely survived that one, with my black armour from 67/68 to 1/68...

Charge against sea raiders with not-so-charger-type-horse, horse stops like there is a brick wall and... I think you know the rest...

Borcha shoots you in the back, pretty usual...
Weeell,there were two dark knights left, Borcha shot me in the back, I drop. After-battle-summary, two dark knights slaughtered about 50% of my ranged units before they were cut down... (Didn't have any cavalry left, too many vaegir war parties and patrols before those darkies...)

 

[Nahkuri]

Some time ago I started a tournament game, vs game. I ended up as an archer to the red team, the other fellow was a mounted fellow with a two handed sword.
The blue team consisted of an archer and Xerina on horseback armed with a lance.

Man I rule with a bow. I managed to kill the enemy archer, but when Xerina started charging towards me with her lance couched, I was getting a little worried. I saw my ally rushing behind her swinging his sword in a wide arc, almost hitting Xerina. I took an arrow, aimed in Xerina's head and shot. The arrow flew right past her ear, right into my partners forehead, knocking him unconsious, and at the same second Xerina stuck me like a pig, rendering me unconsious.

Man was I proud of myself.

 

[Ingolifs]

I love it when your horse spawn right on top of a giant cliff, and as soon as you move, you fall and cripple your horse.

 

[Kniggit]

1. Having all of your knights chase one mountain bandit iff a cliff, killing all thier horses

2. having dumb men

3. having men who jump in front of you while shooting. Especially when the only 7 shots you fired in the whole battlke end up in your allies heads

4. watrchng all 23 of your slave chiefs slughtered by 3 unmounted men

5. have one of your townsman knock you out with a rock

6. Giving the dismount order, then change your mind only to have some bunghole peasant jump on your spirited courser

7. You keep missing a riverpirate with your heavy great axe, only to have him chop half your health away with a hatchet

8. Enemy spawns right behind you

9. Watching marnid go over a hill, then suddently 15 axes, javelins, and arrows are sticcking out of his front

10. having your horse crippled my one of your own archers while fighting dark hunters

Those are my top ten, all of them heppened excpet the peasant jumping on my courses, he stole a poack horse

 

[Blackspirit]

9. Watching marnid go over a hill, then suddently 15 axes, javelins, and arrows are sticcking out of his front

Shouldn't that be in the top 10 BEST things to happen?

 

[Kniggit]

no, because then he cant watch me back, then i have some little assmunch behind me with a butchering knife

 

[Otto Von Lanstien]

hmm double post.

 

[Otto Von Lanstien]

I can often take on 50 mountain bandits with just me and my bow. The problem was when I was running about thinking "oh yeah, just try and catch me losers" only to fall off a cliff that opened up beneath me, make lame my spirited courser, remember that I decided to use a dagger instead of my war axe for "comedy value" (I wanted to tease them by poking them with my dagger) and looking both ways only to see them swarming down into the river valley to "greet me".