Sir Saladin's Fountain of Wisdom

[Ursca]

Sir Saladin; A Madman or a Prophet?

Some say that his words can cure the senile and that he once bit the face off a bear. What we know is that his bizarrely poetic orations can help us reach a better understanding of the nature of reality and seem to hold some kind of hidden meaning, some outlandish premonition of the future.

Fortunately, his prophetic genius is preserved on the internet for posterity and future generations. Chronicled here are Sir Saladin's words of wisdom. Feel free to contribute your own. Should the great man (woman? haruspex?) himself be reading, then additional material is much appreciated.

China used to be great, and they invented a lot of the things that we still use today, what happened? I just read an article about the fact that they are only allowed to have one child so they kill the child if it is a daughter, there is going to be a lot of lonely crazy men in the world. It will be a boon for the video game industry.

I'm just going to guess that the American Chinese people who died in mines and building railroads came up with a woman that was a bhuddist and just thought it would be fun to put little words of wisdom in a cookie.

I worked on a bridge one summer and had deer flies biting holes in my arms at the worst times but you must mean what we call the **** flies, I've worked around sewers too and the **** flies always climb into the ears and eyes and are no fun at all. XTC don't rub, grind.

The whole running and bouncing off the ropes starts to lose its charm after going on a strangling and self hanging weekend.

I love hiding in ruins. If you have to fight underwater I would recommend a short stabbing sword.

Strangely enough, not only do the Greys consider horse lips a delicassy they also enjoy red wine from a box.

The trouble with reincarnation is coming back as a fly or a maggot, I think that would be deppressing. How about those poor Hindus that thought Mcdonalds  fries were not fried in animal lard.

Pink elephants are a myth, real detox is all about snakes and spiders.

 

[Seff]

[me=Seff]cracks up.[/me]

 

[Pharaoh Llandy]

Pure awesome.

 

[Ronan]

Sir Saladin is indeed a man unlike any other.

 

[Dryvus]

Damn, there are so many to gather. This fountain will rule.

 

[Pharaoh Llandy]

The movie The Terminator is based on 1980's science which is much more up to date then H.G. Wells so we know that time travel requires total nudity. The movie Back to the Future was just a comedy and not based on hard science.

And lo, I bring the latest words from the wise one himself!

The alien invaders were killed because they were using Microsoft Windows to run their spaceships and a U.S. American knew how to hack it, before that happened Canada was already melted into a gigantic sheet of glass by the outer space invaders because they knew that the Canadians were the most dangerous Earthlings of all. They call ham bacon and play ice skating hockey so they must be crazier and scarier then the average human. By the way I love Da Vinci's Inquest it is my favorite TV show right now even though in reruns.

And another nice one here.

I have been living in the good old U.S my whole life and I think this space shuttle stuff is nonsense. And the so called space station is just a glorified satellite. Real life is not Star Trek, and orbiting in Earth atmosphere space has already been done. Over and over. They are not exploring anything excepting how they can throw away lives and massive amounts of money. If they really did land on the moon why not bring back that ancient rocket technology instead of just orbitting all of the time?

 

[Æon]

Christians are the best vampire hunters and witch finders. Us Christians (I haven't been inside of a church or prayed in a long time but I was raised as a Christian) pretty much exterminated the vampires and if that ain't virtue I'll kiss your ass AND I'll eat my hat.

 

[Úlfheðinn]

This is truely, amazing. Perhaps, he is so insane or stupid that he has reached a new level of sanity or intelligence.

 

[iamahorse]

I think he has simply transcended the common human condition and therefore his words and thoughts and intentions remain veiled to us oh-so unenlightened and base folk.

 

[Úlfheðinn]

Giving a man a ******** doesn't make you a vampire, being a vampire is not mild it is extreme by definition you have to sleep in a coffin all day surrounded by holy grave dirt and you need to be dead. You can't just pretend to be a living cadaver. I am old school when it comes to vampires I guess neo vampires aren't dead or hideous anymore, just abominable.

The trend continues, no?

 

[Æon]

Experts? Don't have too much faith in them. They have a firm grasp of the obvious. And they sell it, damn rodents.

I'm getting bored with these weirdos who think they are vampires. If you aren't a cannibal or a werewolf I'm just not interested anymore. OK maybe I still have room for a cattle mutilating grey alien from another solar system but that is where I draw the line. And maybe a Bigfoot exhibit at the local zoo but thats it.

I have no idea why I'm furthering this man's cult, considering he's not very fond of me...

 

[Mage246]

My greatest dream is that the Earth will be attacked by aliens from some other planet who have technology far superior to anything on earth and I will say, "See, just because they have superior technology and they are a little smarter then us doesn't mean they are nice people." And as I go to the salt mines I will say " I told you S.E.T.I was a bad idea." What a depressing dream.

I can't remember any of the really good ones .

 

[LuckyDuckly]

Why are aliens never portrayed as complete retards who are so stupid that they accidentally create a device capable of sending them into our universe? It's so racist.

 

[Tuckles]

1) I don't think the term racist as we know it right now applies to aliens. 

2) It's a lot more improbable than their deliberate exploration/colonization of the universe

3) Smart aliens make better baddies than retarded aliens.

 

[Tuckles]

Well I dunno about you, but when I hear the word racism, my mind immediately goes to humans, since being racist means being biased against another race, and I'd think that when you do that, it has to be a race of your own species.

It'd make for a good comedy, but would you take a movie with that premise seriously?

 

[Pharaoh Llandy]

Dudes, stop trying to apply logic. Our simple human logic cannot be compared to the Fountain of Wisdom which is Sir Saladin. You must try to move beyond pure logic, and embrace that which is logic moved slightly out of our reality into something that at first glance looks like logic, but then you realise it's a bit too purple and has a couple of extra fingers.

 

[Magorian Aximand]

Dudes, stop trying to apply logic. Our simple human logic cannot be compared to the Fountain of Wisdom which is Sir Saladin. You must try to move beyond pure logic, and embrace that which is logic moved slightly out of our reality into something that at first glance looks like logic, but then you realise it's a bit too purple and has a couple of extra fingers.

You're learning. Saladin teaches us.

 

[Pharaoh Llandy]

Fighting against the logic of Sir Saladin is futile. We must bend gently, like the willow tree in Beaufort 7 wind speeds.

 

[Magorian Aximand]

We had some high winds today, which sucks if you have a tall car. Bad for sprinklers. In any case, you should remember to dry your toothbrush so it won't collect as much fecal matter out of the air.

 

[Pharaoh Llandy]

That's the spirit!

I move that today (1st August) be forever known as "Sir Saladin Day".

We can have carnivals with aliens and time-travellers and Chinese people.