Sheep Jokes!

[Orion]

New Zealand (sp?) as more sheep than you can shake a stick at.

Assuming you shake sticks at sheep, which you should not do.

Because then your friends will say mean things about you behind your back.


Post more sheep jokes! Sheep jokes = ownage.

Sorry Ingolifs

 

[Berny]

i dont know any good sheep jokes...

but i do have a joke...

if your an american outside the bathroom what are you inside???





>>>>European<<<<<

Ha Ha!

 

[Rando]

^What are you on the way to the bathroom? Russian

This one is more of a blonde joke but, it mentions sheep so...

Once upon a time there was a blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheepherder over. "That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said. "Well thank you.", said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman. "Okay.", replied the herder. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman. "Sure.", said the sheep herder. So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382". "Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked her favorite and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you". "What is it?", queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"

 

[Pavlov]

^What are you on the way to the bathroom? Russian

You're a prick.

 

[Rando]

Yeah. I get that a lot.

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? So the sheep won't hear the zipper.

 

[Berny]

my borther jsut told me one

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the
engine fails and
the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.
herder captian: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!

herder apprentice: What about the sheep ?!?

herder captian: **** the sheep !!!!

herder apprentice: (pause) Do you think we have time?

 

[Temujin]

my borther jsut told me one

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the
engine fails and
the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.
herder captian: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!

herder apprentice: What about the sheep ?!?

herder captian: **** the sheep !!!!

herder apprentice: (pause) Do you think we have time?

lol I know this one with micheal jackson a pilot and a bunch of children pretty old one

 

[Rando]

Yea, whenever I was reading it I kept thinking, "I know a Michael Jackson joke quite similar to... oh it is the same joke."


Q: How does Ingolifs find his sheep in tall grass?

A: Very satisfying.

 

[Pavlov]

Why does Ingolifs like to screw sheep on the edge of cliffs?




Because they push back so nicely.

 

[Ingolifs]

Why do all sheep jokes have to be at my expense?

 

[Chaos Llama]

Because we love you. Isn't that right? *nudge*

 

[Rando]

Why do all sheep jokes have to be at my expense?

I don't know. Something about New Zealanders and you being one of them. Ask Orion. Also jokes like this:

Why did the sheep get her driver's license suspended??
She made an illegal ewe turn!

Lack any sort awesomeness.

 

[weltonia]

Sheep jokes are created for welshys not new zealanders


Do you guys in new zealand have romney sheep?

 

[Matrix33]

Why do all sheep jokes have to be at my expense?

Don't worry. I think New Zealand is liked and Kiwis appreciated. When I was 19 i planned to emigrate to New Zeland with group of coleagues (you know we had comunism in Poland and grey and boring life in perpective). Finally nothing happened but sentiment remained. We'd heard lot of thing about beauty of your country.
Regards

 

[Ingolifs]

Don't worry.

I only worry about Pavlov.

But yeah, NZ is a pretty neat place. I live near a city so i don't see any sheep in day to day life. And i am aware that you're making fun of me in a joking sort of way. Which is pretty much what my family does all the time.

 

[Sir Saladin]

When I first heard that old "do you think we have time?" joke it was a priest, a rabbi and a lawyer on a cruise ship that hit an iceberg. The rabbi said "Save the women and children!" the lawyer said "**** the children!" and the priest said "Do you think we have time?" Don't tell that joke in a bar it just makes people angry.

 

[Henderson]

I have heard a few African American jokes, They are extremely Racist, but pure funny, i'll just tell one, just one
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]


One day, an Mexican, a british, a white American, and a black american met each other. so, after the mexican smoke, he threw it on the ground, and said, We don't care, there are alot of these in our country. The british threw a bottle of water down, and said, we don't care, we have loads of them in our country. Then, the White american threw the Black one down.

[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]
[racist jokes]

 

[Rando]

That actually wasn't as bad as it could of been.
It kinda reminds me of one about a french guy, an englishman, an american, and a mexican in an airplane. One of the engines on the plane burns out and now is to heavy to sustain itself in the air. Thinking it honorable the frenchman opens the door says, "Viva la France!" and jumps out. Still to heavy to fly, the englishman says, "God save the queen!" and jumps out. Yet still the plane is to heavy so the american steps up and says, "Remember the Alamo!" and throws out the mexican.
Anyway this thread is about Ingolifs and his adventures.

 

[Ingolifs]

Very similar to another one i've heard (not racist though)

An inglishman, an australian and a south african were drinking at the bar. After finishing his pint, the south african threw his glass into the air, whipped out a pistol and shot it to pieces, saying 'In Sath Efrica we's got so much glass we don't need to drink from the saem one twice'
After the australian finished his pint, he threw the glass into the air, shot it to pieces and said' in 'straalia, we got's so much sand to make glaas from, we don't nead to dreenk from the same glaas twice.'
Finally, the englishman finished his pint, thrrew it into the air, and shot the australian and the south african, saying 'in england, we have so many australians and south africans, that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice.'

 

[Berny]

well since we are now being racist ill join the fun


why are all black people so fast?



















all the slow ones are in jail... HAHA!