Secret Embarrsing stories

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Hahahahahaha way to go Temu. That must have been a hell of a story for her to tell at the dinner table that night.

"So hunny, how was your day at the hospital"
"This coma patient creamed on me..."


What you should have done was just look her straight in the face and say "more where that came from" :wink:
 
I guess someone could post a poll.

My vote is for Temujin though. In my story I never actually "stained" anything.
 
you know, when I think of your story, it shouldn't be embarassing since all men tend to have an errection in theri sleep, it would be unnatural not to have an erection in your sleep. you should have told her that
 
First off, I can't help but laugh when I see some dude with an erection (if he is sleeping or strolling through the mall). She also just woke up to, maybe it was the first thing she saw. Second, I did mention I was "thinking" of her while I was asleep. For all I know there could have been some touching or motions involved :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :grin:
 
I never touched her outside of my dreams. If I did, I would surely be in jail since she was 17 (I was 18 so it's not as gross as it sounds) and it would have been rape.

I have also noticed that you seem to be very interested in my sex life. Is there some hidden agenda you have Pavlov? You said we are almost one in the same, then you mention my love of children. You also mentioned your affinity to being online in your underwear, easy access hmm? :razz:

Where are your horrible stories. I did mention somewhere I hated being the center of attention so could we sorta move along?
 
correction, my interesting is NOT in your sex life, but in your... molestation life I guess.. ok yeah... thats wierd. But uhh. I'm of age so we have no future, sorry dude.

Beh, I don't want to tell my stories, they aren't as embarrassing as they are just... abnormal and.. on occasion very odd. So I will surly face ridicule.
 
Pavlov 说:
correction, my interesting is NOT in your sex life, but in your... molestation life I guess.. ok yeah... thats wierd. But uhh. I'm of age so we have no future, sorry dude.

Beh, I don't want to tell my stories, they aren't as embarrassing as they are just... abnormal and.. on occasion very odd. So I will surly face ridicule.
点击展开...

I am deeply saddened we shall never own a cottage with a picket fence. :cry:

As for your stories, I think the whole point of this topic is to throw your sorry **** out there and just give others a laugh at it.

One of my "abnormal" stories goes like this. Arrive at my calculus class and proceed to sit down. I guess due to my regular unluckyness combined with the speed I threw myself into my chair, I sat on my nads. I let out a horrible shriek and it would have been really embarassing but I was like the 3rd person to class so I just told them I hit my knee on the desk leg really hard and proceeded to hunch over.
 
Meh fine, well this one actually kindda hurt my feeling so be gentle.

Anyways I was having a party at my place a while ago, had a good amount of people by about 10ish, so I was walking around figuring out who I don't know so I could kick them the hell out (since I know I don't have like 100 friends) Anyways, i'm walking around and who do I see? my old ex! yay! (booo) So she starts talking to me all nice like "how have you been" "ohh yeah nice to see you" meanwhile i'm thinking about where I'm going to stash her corpse. Well we're talking, we're drinking, we're talking, we're drinking. So we get on that dreaded topic of "why did we break up" and all that piss and vinegar. I'll skip some stuff here, and now we're all hanky panky on the couch 'talking' about getting back together. Her phone rings, it's her friend she goes all blah blah blah walks away.

I went to go put on my toga. Why? because, now shut the hell up. I just wanted to wear a man dress. Yes naked, just the toga, shut the hell up. So now i'm all pissed again, i'm ditched at my own party... so now i'm getting straight plastered, drinking everything in sight. So I stumble out on my front porch for a smoke (I don't smoke indoors) holding a vodka bottle and a pack of smokes. This is where the problem begings, so bear with me.

I light up my smoke... then it hits me... I gotta piss. Not only do I got to piss... I'm wearing a toga (shut the hell up) so it's not like I can just unzip.
AND both of my hands are occupied. Now mind you i'm drunk, so I guess I didn't think it was possible to put down the bottle, go inside, and use the normal toilet. So I do the next best thing, roll up the toga... erm... thrust foward... and let it freestyle, all over the porch, the house, the flowers, etc.

Then I hear the lovely shrill *****y voice, saying the same thing it always sais. "OH MY GOD PAV WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?"

Yeah it's her...

Conversation wen't something like this.
me- uhhh... had to... uhhh.. you know..
her- piss while... what the hell are you wearing?
me- it's not yours don't worry.
her- This is why we can't be together
me- why?
her- Because you're ****ed up right there! *pokes me in the head*
me- ohhh.

Anyways she then wen't inside and told everyone what I had done, and they prolly wouden't have believed her had I not been wearing the dress toga (shut the hell up)

I think I fell aleep in a lawn chair that night, bleah... I had school the next day too, very uncomfortable it was...
 
That kinda reminds me of when my brother used to throw parties at the house. Him and a buddy would make a piss angel on the side of the house then you would go there like an hour later and see 18 of these things lined up on the freaking wall.

To me the funniest part of the story is that you were the only person wearing a man dress. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time and by golly you were drunk enough to do it :applause:
 
Rando 说:
I never touched her outside of my dreams. If I did, I would surely be in jail since she was 17 (I was 18 so it's not as gross as it sounds) and it would have been rape.
点击展开...

Ah the advantage of being english.. its illegal unless its under 16 :cool:
 
Rando 说:
It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time and by golly you were drunk enough to do it :applause:
点击展开...

I wasen't uhh... drunk then.. btw... has anyone else noticed a trend in these stories, they all seem to have one thing in common. The object of embarrassment seems to always end up being the penis.
 
I strive to be.
I'm just really sad that I can't find my photo cd.

Edit: Perhaps its better this way, you'd just delete them as porn anyways :cry:
 
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