T’was a bright morning when Grimmend and Phonemelter met at the stable to set out on their quest. But immediately, Phonemelter realised something was wrong. In place of their trusty steeds was a horse-drawn carriage, resplendent with jewels and gold leaf.
“Where are our trusty steeds?” asked Melter.
“Ah, I have a cunning plan!” said Grimmend. “To capture our prey, we must lull him into a false sense of security. Here, put this on.”
And so it happened that five minutes later Grimmend and Phonemelter clambered into the carriage dressed as a rich couple on their way home from King Arthur’s court.
“Why do I have to dress as the woman?” Phonemelter complained. He looked quite fetching in his silk bonnet and slippers, and several pairs of stockings had been shoved down the front of his fine velvet gown, so that he would prove a tempting target for any rapscalion.
“Because you have the feeble stomach and the consitution of a woman,” said Grimmend, then tapped the carriage roof. “Driver, move off!”
The carriage rattled for an hour over the bumpy roads which wound their way through forests and glens and glanced by small, dirt-track villages of little import. As they passed through The Blackwood, a treacherous area rife with banditry, they heard a voice outside, and the carriage came to a stop. They did not have to wait long for an explanation; the door swung open and a figure appeared there, blocking out the daylight. He was tall, and dressed in finery, but in his hand was a sword, and his well-oiled goatee left no doubt about his villainy.
“Stand and deliver!” the Dandy Highwayman cried. But Grimmend was faster; he lunged out with his booted foot and sent the Dandy Highwayman flying back out of the carriage. He hit the ground with an “urk!” as the wind was knocked out of him. Seizing the moment, Phonemelter let out a bloodcurdling cry and grasped the hilt of his sword, which had been stashed within his iron chastity belt beneath his gown, leaping forward onto the struggling bandit.
With one swift movement, Phonemelter plunged the sword into the Highwayman’s chest, and the light died from his eyes. Grimmend clapped him on the shoulder, and they both embraced in a manly hug of triumph.
They made short work of the Dandy Highwayman's body, hoisting him onto the back of the carriage and tying him in place with firm ropes. Then the carriage was turned back to Camelot, so that the duo could report on the success of their mission.
“Where are our trusty steeds?” asked Melter.
“Ah, I have a cunning plan!” said Grimmend. “To capture our prey, we must lull him into a false sense of security. Here, put this on.”
And so it happened that five minutes later Grimmend and Phonemelter clambered into the carriage dressed as a rich couple on their way home from King Arthur’s court.
“Why do I have to dress as the woman?” Phonemelter complained. He looked quite fetching in his silk bonnet and slippers, and several pairs of stockings had been shoved down the front of his fine velvet gown, so that he would prove a tempting target for any rapscalion.
“Because you have the feeble stomach and the consitution of a woman,” said Grimmend, then tapped the carriage roof. “Driver, move off!”
The carriage rattled for an hour over the bumpy roads which wound their way through forests and glens and glanced by small, dirt-track villages of little import. As they passed through The Blackwood, a treacherous area rife with banditry, they heard a voice outside, and the carriage came to a stop. They did not have to wait long for an explanation; the door swung open and a figure appeared there, blocking out the daylight. He was tall, and dressed in finery, but in his hand was a sword, and his well-oiled goatee left no doubt about his villainy.
“Stand and deliver!” the Dandy Highwayman cried. But Grimmend was faster; he lunged out with his booted foot and sent the Dandy Highwayman flying back out of the carriage. He hit the ground with an “urk!” as the wind was knocked out of him. Seizing the moment, Phonemelter let out a bloodcurdling cry and grasped the hilt of his sword, which had been stashed within his iron chastity belt beneath his gown, leaping forward onto the struggling bandit.
With one swift movement, Phonemelter plunged the sword into the Highwayman’s chest, and the light died from his eyes. Grimmend clapped him on the shoulder, and they both embraced in a manly hug of triumph.
They made short work of the Dandy Highwayman's body, hoisting him onto the back of the carriage and tying him in place with firm ropes. Then the carriage was turned back to Camelot, so that the duo could report on the success of their mission.
