Rediculous relation losses from my allies and other nobles almost overnight?

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So I took several cities and forts for our kingdom (Vlandia) from the Battarians who we were at war with and recieved none of them, the king took them every time even when i had 70%+ support from other lords. So it turned out i have -100 relations with almost all other faction members including the king even though i try to help everyone i've saved dozens of lords from battles and wipe out bandits all over the kingdom. I have no idea what caused the sudden huge relation losses practically over night because the relation system is buggy as hell and half the changes aren't broadcast. Previously i'd been in the kings good books so i have no idea what happened. Why does abstaining a vote reduce relations? Why does saving lords not increase relations? There's so much happening in the background that isnt fed back to the player which is really dampening my mood to play the game.
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