It's a non-choice because of the consequences. I wish it were a choice, but it's not. Raiding provides no real benefit and only pretty severe drawbacks, especially if you're unlanded.
The only thing that needs to change is have a way to raise relations after they get down to -10+. This is a problem throughout the game actually, but with village notables there are no reliable methods to improve relations besides quests.
I have the same feeling. The game is full of "non-choices" becouse the consequences of the actions are far too high for the benefits. Why waste so much energy into coding so much stuff you actually discourage to use? clear examples are all the criminal interactions and agressive village interactions





