Question regarding associating with families.

[Casimir]

I've been playing war band for a week or so now and have associated my self with Count Talbar's family in the kingdom of Rhodok.  I have since married his daughter after some courtship but i don't fully understand how the game decides whether you should gain or loose reputation with other members of the family.  At times i seem to gain a great deal of respect for them when doing nothing more than following the marshal (who is count Talbar) however is i am else where and one of them is defeated in battle i seem to loose a great deal of reputation. 

The essence of my question is what can I do to gain reputation within the family? What are the factors that effect the game logic?

(I've tried searching for relevant information but I have been unable to find any)


This problem has now been solved.