Obituaries!

[Jez_Wolf]

Ok many of us have done this before, n I know it's morbid, but tis fun, so we can get away with it.

Write down your obituary as it would appear in a newspaper, add in as much silliness, seriousnes, or general humour as you want.

Have fun!
Hugs
Jez XxX

 

[Jez_Wolf]

In the Times;

Sir Jez Menis died today, aged 68, a legend in his own lifetime.

Having made his riches in the alternative jewellery trade Sir Menis was most noted for his successful peace talks in the Middle-East, using Ramones music, and cannabis as a catalyst, and installing the 'Munchies for Guns' policy, which is still upheld today.

His business career will be remembered for many years to come. His masterstroke of buying Drake's Island, declaring independence, and using it as a tax haven was noted in many business circles, and ensures revenue for his children Denise, Francis, and Gabriel.

Mr Menis, or Jez as he preferred to be known, died from wounds received during a vicious gun battle, reputedly caused due to his shadowy contacts in the underworld. Witnesses state he was armed only with a sword, yet still disposed of his several assailants. Unfortunately the assault took the life of his beloved wife. His last wish was to be laid by her side, to whisper to her, to ease her passing, and they then left this world hand in hand.

Sir Jez Menis 1978- 2047

 

[Nairagorn]

No obituary for me. Just toss me on the grill, do a shot in my honor, and flush my ashes down the toilet.

 

[WipperSnipper]

No obituary for me. Just toss me on the grill, do a shot in my honor, and flush my ashes down the toilet.

Ditto

 

[Worbah]

Good riddance

 

[pzler]

killed himmself in a unusually painfull way after finding out there is no such thing as true love

 

[okiN]

I'll die in solitude and obscurity in some filthy back alley. No obituary.

 

[Scenix]

No obiturary, but headstone....

Here lieth Scenix, shat to death by government officials whilst leading the 'Noodles Revolution'. Armed with three plastic spoons, a natural organic yoghurt and a small painted wooden duck.

Guess what, that isn't funny, there. I feel much better.

How are you Meister Wolf, vud you like to zit on sie couch? Perhaps it vud help to talk about....<Message Ends>

 

[okiN]

shat to death

I don't even want to know how that's possible.

 

[Pavlov]

This is kindda sick, with that said, I've always wanted to be tourtured to death, needles in eyes, testicles removed, fingernails ripped off, teeth torn out, that kind of thing. In my opinion an erotic death is better then a regular death.

 

[Pharaoh Llandy]

RIP Pharaoh Llandy - Who would have thought that 5000 pitchfork-waving, torch-carrying peasants could be so lethal?

 

[Juno]

Today aged 15 Juno sadly passed away loudly after being tortured by oompa lumpas.

He always had a strange obsession with anime girls jumping up and down on an invisible trampoleene and grumbling at repetative n00bs but we all know he definatly wont be missed!

He was captured by the oompa's 3 days ago wenwalking home from college. There was no rescue attempt to save him even though everyone in the world knew where he was.

His school chums had one thing to say to us as we interveiwed them...

'Partaaaaaaaaaaaay!'

lol um... weird but i could really imagion this happening

 

[Nairagorn]

::nods:: Oompa loompas can be nasty little buggers.

 

[Rando]

Rando - Survived the 3000 foot drop onto a pile of razor blades. Died from eating the poisonous berries when crawling home.

That about sums up how I see things happening.

 

[Laurence of Arabia]

This is kindda sick, with that said, I've always wanted to be tourtured to death, needles in eyes, testicles removed, fingernails ripped off, teeth torn out, that kind of thing. In my opinion an erotic death is better then a regular death.

Having my bollocks ripped off isn't quite what i'd call erotic. I think driving off the empire state building would be a cool way to die.

 

[Rando]

I think driving off the empire state building would be a cool way to die.

Might I ask what you would be driving?

 

[Pavlov]

His addidas probably.

 

[Demiminigod]

Demiminigod, died a tragical death as he couldn't decide if he would take the blue or red pill... R.I.P. BRO! In YO Face LoL ( stupid graffiti on my gravestone.

 

[Laurence of Arabia]

I think driving off the empire state building would be a cool way to die.

Might I ask what you would be driving?

Something very fast...and classic. I'd have to drug myself ****loads to do it though.

 

[mediobogdum]

Brian Watkins died today of autoerotic asphyxiation. He is remembered by few, and not well by them. His conspicuous lack of any contribution to his community has set the bar so low that anyone else at all can take heart in the fact that they were more productive than he was.
He kindly asks that his ashes be mixed with some sick, sweet, sticky buddha and smoked by the homeless guy who lives in the alley at the end of his block.
On a personal note this reporter would like to say good ****en riddance.