I'm also finding it very hard to hit anything from horseback. Even with spears I probably land only 1/5 hits. Honestly have no idea what is happening as I was quite good at it in Warband.
Edit: Maybe the e-peen warriors can have an uber ultra warrior mode where they can preen and show off, and for the rest of us a few adjustments to make the fights a bit more enjoyable.
Nah, this game is pretty much designed for just those e-peen warriors, and i don't think it will change.